How to deal with a rude player

[alan_usa]

I had a really miserable doubles game last nite. I play in a club 3 times a week and last night, I went by myself and partner with a player I just met on the court. 5 minutes into the game and we lost 2 points, my partner lost patience and begun to instruct me to play mixed double formation. He wanted me to just stay in the front so that he can rally. Everytime we lost a point either by unforced mistakes or so, he got upset and begun to mumble in his own language. That really destroyed all my confidence and gave me lots of stress. Eventually, I gave up the game and gave all the points to opponents so that I could end the game faster. I wonder if anyone has met this type of player on the court in the past and how do you deal with him or her ?

I have played many times with players weaker than me but always think no matter what your partner's skill level is, respect is very important on the court. It is very upset and disappointed sometimes when you meet players who take the game too seriously and take away all the fun.

Alan

[bluejeff]

This happens to me all the time!

Well, I usually would do the same thing as you did - just give up the game and walk away, and I still think it's the best way to deal with this kind of situation.

However, this is not the type of people I hate the most. The NO.1 on my list is, when you play doubles, you got a clear shot, and your partner just jump all the way over to the the shot "for you". Normally, this would result in a racket clash and a point loss. Even worse, the partner might blame you for that! I normally would say what the fXXX !:mad:

Such as today, I had a game with a whatever guy as my partner. He clashed my MP-99 for no reason, lost a bunch of shots, and he still thinks that I should be responsible for the game loss. I personally would not have a game with him anymore in my life. It's not because of the skills, it's the attitude that I don't like.

[Nanashi]

it's incredible how many people forget that the term club play literally means PLAY... it doesn't matter!!!

[alan_usa]

BlueJeff, that is exactly how I felt after the game, "I will never play with this jerk anymore".

Yes, I feel very frustrated playing with this types of partner who would blame on you for any point loss. Worst of all, the partner I met last night were not good in rally either and he would make mistakes after rallied for 3 shots. He also blamed me for not blocking a drive smash return. Next time, I would do like what you did, walk away and tell him to sign up for tournament instead if he is good enough.

[LazyBuddy]

I think many ppl experienced stuff like this.

I think a lot of ppl are just way too serious about a game, and forget about it's a club but not a tournament. Also, with randomly paired partner, we should show even more respect toward each other, but not always think "i am always right".

If I get randomly get teamed up with someone, I will try to enjoy the game as much as possible, and try not go for very aggressive "questionable coverage", which results into clashes. If I am happened to be the less skillful player, I will try to do whatever I can do, not to let my partner down. If s/he gives me a suggestion with very good manner (and of course not all the time), I will try to listen to it, and if that's really a good point, I will try to learn it. If I am the more skillful player, I will try to be patient with my partner. As long as s/he tried, I will enjoy the game as well as them. If I see something s/he definitely did wrong, or need to improve. I might consider to talk to them off court (really depend on how much I know them, etc), or they ask for any suggestion.

Overall, randomly paired up club lvl players are mainly going for fun, for some less intensive practicing games. If u want to get into serious games / practice, go with ur regular partner.

The worst possible solution could be: two players change a good game into a shouting match. :confused:

[SmashingBird]

lol..that happened to me when I was partnering with a worster player..hahah..he was worst than me and yet he was still complainning...he was complainning that I don't know how to play doubles because I have to cover up for his mistakes such as don't clear because he won't be able to block or don't play net shot because he won't be able to cover the back or something like that..and he was being real MEAN!

[LazyBuddy]

Originally posted by SmashingBird
he was complainning that I don't know how to play doubles because I have to cover up for his mistakes such as don't clear because he won't be able to block or don't play net shot because he won't be able to cover the back or something like that..and he was being real MEAN!

Lol... What exactly he can do then?

Just jumping around and complain, I think. ;) Tell him, save some mouth water, and concentrate, his playability at least will increase a lvl.

[ruth1]

Alan,

You should have broken his racket! :) I've never played with someone like that but I've played against someone like that. We were playing in a tournament and this guy needed a mixed parter (note:had this girl not volunteered, he would not have been in the event). so this girl (who had not been playing long at all) played with him and of course she was weaker. he got so obnoxious that i wanted to hit him. he made her stand in the far corner of the court (literally just stand there) and only let her hit when we served to her. he even tried to tell us to serve to him twice. he was yelling and telling us that she sucked and that he would beat both of us by herself.

This is a really extreme example but it's one that's stayed with me for a long time.

[LazyBuddy]

Originally posted by ruth1

We were playing in a tournament and this guy needed a mixed parter (note:had this girl not volunteered, he would not have been in the event). so this girl (who had not been playing long at all) played with him and of course she was weaker. he got so obnoxious that i wanted to hit him. he made her stand in the far corner of the court (literally just stand there) and only let her hit when we served to her. he even tried to tell us to serve to him twice. he was yelling and telling us that she sucked and that he would beat both of us by herself.


If I am in this situation, I will just quit and mess him up, and see what he can say. It would be like a torture for the receiving end, and why let it continue at the 1st place. Overall, the girl is doing him a favor, but not as a slave. I can never believe ppl can show totally no-respect to someone who's willing to help out.

I've been served as a "sub" for a someone, whose partner left earlier than expected due to family issues. Even though, we lost at the end due to lack of communication (ok, ok, our skill are not as good as opponents, either), but we enjoyed the time of playing together. We tried the best we can, and respect each other's game. Even once we clashed our rackets due to lack of communication, we still say sorry almost at the same time.

To me, winning is NOT the #1 issue no matter in club or a tournament. As long as we try, and enjoy some time together, it should be good. If 2 ppl have to shout at each other, I don't think any chance of victory will bring me back to be partner with a person I dislike.

[Kurodo]

yea.. it sickens me to see crappy people show no respect to ther teammates...

a few girls have come to me crying or really saddened by ther mixed partners being evil and putting all of the blame on them, even when he made as much if not more mistakes during the game... even if mistakes were made, its useless to put blame on people. a smart person would learn from these mistakes and view them as reinforcements on ther own skills...

and most important of all is of course... HAVE FUN!

[ttktom]

it happened to me on thursday i was playing against another club in a league match and the opposition kept changing the score trying to put our score down. this guy was about 40 my partner was about 55 after a he'd done this four times i told him to hold on and stop changing the score:mad: i was being a bit brave as i'm only 16. but it got to me so much eventually he agreed with the score. he was arguing with the scorer too so that was that the scorer had to get involved as he was shouting abuse at the scorer. :mad:

he's gonna get a warning off the people in charge of the league if he gets anoter warning he will be banned from playing badminton for any club for 1 year.

[wiers289]

I concur with LazyBuddy, nobody likes to lose, but if you and your partner have given it 100% you can still feel good and have enjoyed the game. On the other hand, when a game becomes a shouting match, both sides are really pissed off. Not to mention all the other ppl in the hall, who all sat front row for your little event.
Joop

[frictionman]

1. Give a tast of his own medicine, and doulble it. You should see how loud and complainy I can get...

2. Challenge him and beat the crap out of him ( go 1 on 1 on him).

3. Infuriate him (a), I'll switch my mp100 to my dad's heavy aluminum racket during game break and maybe just maybe if he is really asking for it purposely clash his racket with mine. And Tell him that "Hey! that's my shot!" & Your in the way!".

4 Infuriate him (b), purposely loose the game by intentionally not hitting the shuttle and try as if your trying your best. And smile to him after loosing.

[wiers289]

and this goes on and on and on and on.........
Joop

[LoveJoy]

Best bet to avoid disappointments are to arrange games with about the same level of playing skills.

[wiers289]

Op better yet, let the responsable people in the club set standards about misconduct and act accordingly. In other words "kick 'm out"
Joop

[Iwan]

Actually, the best way to deal with this kind of situation is to just talk it out 'nicely' with the person. Something along the line of 'Hey, don't be so upset. Have to keep our cool or we're going to lose mentally.' or 'Hey, don't be so upset, its just a game.' Basically just try to calm him down and be a friend. I'm sure that's the best way, though some of us are probably too angry at our own partner to do such thing :rolleyes:

[Swordfish712]

lol I really like frictionman's second option... Challenge him to a 1 on 1 match and beat the crap out of him

[LazyBuddy]

Originally posted by Kurodo
yea.. it sickens me to see crappy people show no respect to ther teammates...

a few girls have come to me crying or really saddened by ther mixed partners being evil and putting all of the blame on them, even when he made as much if not more mistakes during the game... even if mistakes were made, its useless to put blame on people. a smart person would learn from these mistakes and view them as reinforcements on ther own skills...

and most important of all is of course... HAVE FUN!

Agree.

For doubles, we win as a team, or lose as a team. If someone get pissed off about his/her partner, the best way is to find another partner. There's no point to make tons of enemies in the club.

If I can play well with someone, I will try to play regularly with him/her and enjoy the games. If I can't team up with some others due to skill difference, lack of communication, shot preference, etc, still shake hands after a game, and look for the proper group to join.

To me, if I can't make a friend, at least, I won't make an enemy.

[frictionman]

Originally posted by Swordfish712
lol I really like frictionman's second option... Challenge him to a 1 on 1 match and beat the crap out of him

I challenged him on a 1 on 1 match ofter our doubles. Sadly he found out that He's the reason we've lost. As of today a big improvement on his personality, if there's a sign that he's starting up again even the sligthest of hint I'll just remind him what score he got the night i challenged him (4-15) and he'll just shut up. :D :D :D

[Cheung]

Originally posted by Swordfish712
lol I really like frictionman's second option... Challenge him to a 1 on 1 match and beat the crap out of him he might be better at singles though.:D

Going back to the original problem, I would probably just say I'd sit out of the game if asked to play with the same personality.

And respect is definately important. I wouldn't do the 'revenge' type of action - I would regard it as a failure in myself in losing control. Luckily, it's not a situation that one would find common in HK. Most people here seem to have a good perspective on badminton being a game for enjoyment - can't comment for other countries.

[Winex West Can]

Personally, the desire is to challenge the fellow so that you can beat the crap out of him but the way I see it, it is probably better to not play with the fellow next time out but rather play against him so that you can at least beat the crap out of him :D

I think this type of person can be found almost everyway and in all sorts of activities. Just smile and politely say "Thank you" and walk away and play against him the next time your foursome includes the player.

[wiers289]

Playing against one of these guys is just as frustrating as playing with one. We've got one in our club who cries out and swears like crazy at any fault he makes. Believe me, playing against him is no pleasure at all, be it while winning or losing.
Joop

[frictionman]

playing against (1 0n 1) and beating the crap out of a rude player grants me the satisfaction that he is mad at himself by not winning over me... little ol ME that he accuses why we lost...

I've been playing badminton since the day i can hold up a racket (my father is a badminton player and likes to see his skills passed on...) and to all that I expereinced, treating rude people with action not words is the most direct approach. With words you can debate for a year and you'll never see the end. With action just a couple of minutes, YOU SAY I'M THE REASON WE LOST? LET'S GET IT ON!
like i said after that game (4-15) he changed, to me only that is...

I tried talking, sometimes it work sometimes it doesn't (depends on the person). But I'm still too young to mellow down (late 20's) and eat their bull...

[wiers289]

Beat the guy in a singles game quite hard (15-3/15-0) result = 0.
Next game he's his same old self again. He doesn't blame me for losing a double game, he probably doesn't dare after his defeat, but keeps on shouting and swearing. Result is that a lot of ppl there on those evening get rather annoyed by his actions. As long as it is just a training it is just annoying, but in a match or a tournament he discredits his teammates.
Joop

[LazyBuddy]

I agree that "beat him in single" does work in many cases. Actually, I used it once or twice, when i was really pissed off. However, I still don't think this will really solve the problem, since the "root" is the personality.

1. What about this person does have good skill, and we can't beat him? Then, seems we further proved his "point".

2. What about even we beat him, he still can claim "a good single player might not know more in double games"?


Overall, a lot of ppl just think they are "always right", and never accept the truth. To them, I guess the best method is just leave them alone, let them be "the king", and enjoy their own little tiny world.

[frictionman]

Originally posted by LazyBuddy
I agree that "beat him in single" does work in many cases. Actually, I used it once or twice, when i was really pissed off. However, I still don't think this will really solve the problem, since the "root" is the personality.

1. What about this person does have good skill, and we can't beat him? Then, seems we further proved his "point".

2. What about even we beat him, he still can claim "a good single player might not know more in double games"?


Overall, a lot of ppl just think they are "always right", and never accept the truth. To them, I guess the best method is just leave them alone, let them be "the king", and enjoy their own little tiny world.

To ANSWER your question Lazzybuddy IF your not that good (suck) or somewhat injured and can't beat a loud mouth. Then do the 1,3 or 4... there's more than 1 way to skin a cat.

1. Give a tast of his own medicine, and doulble it. You should see how loud and complainy I can get...

2. Challenge him and beat the crap out of him ( go 1 on 1 on him).

3. Infuriate him (a), I'll switch my mp100 to my dad's heavy aluminum racket during game break and maybe just maybe if he is really asking for it purposely clash his racket with mine. And Tell him that "Hey! that's my shot!" & Your in the way!".

4 Infuriate him (b), purposely loose the game by intentionally not hitting the shuttle and try as if your trying your best. And smile to him after loosing.

Like I said before if i reached a certain age that i could accept by just MELLOWING down I'm not taking his verbal abuses and take the pleasure in destroying his "tiny world"...

[cappy75]

We have a player just like that in our club, only that he's condescending to people with lower skill level than him. Always complaining and telling his partners what his/ her mistakes were... often right in the middle of a game. With higher level players, he usually quiet down. But after a club regular played with him and told the rest of us about his behaviour, no regulars would play with him afterwards. Only reason he's still around is because of his girlfriend ( his baddy partner as well) and newbies who didn't know better.

Yeah, it's satisfying to beat an a**hole on a one on one, but ultimately it's a waste of energy and pointless... except to prove that I am a bigger a**hole for humiliating him. There's always going to be guys like him. Will they change just because someone else beat them badly? I doubt that. Winning and losing games are like shifts in the wind, there's always going to be somebody better or luckier on a given day. Like LB said, it's in their nature. It's hard enough to change bad habits, let alone personality. However, I believe that nothing works better than public ostracization. Sooner or later, they will change their attitude when they realise that nobody wants to play with them anymore.

Court time is at a premium in our clubs and we have rotations to adhere, so usually everybody is understanding and accommodating. Some of the clubs I go to are also close-knitted, so manners and ettiquette are closely observed. Rarely do we need to resort to disciplinary actions.

[LazyBuddy]

Originally posted by frictionman
To ANSWER your question Lazzybuddy IF your not that good (suck) or somewhat injured and can't beat a loud mouth. Then do the 1,3 or 4... there's more than 1 way to skin a cat.

1. Give a tast of his own medicine, and doulble it. You should see how loud and complainy I can get...

2. Challenge him and beat the crap out of him ( go 1 on 1 on him).

3. Infuriate him (a), I'll switch my mp100 to my dad's heavy aluminum racket during game break and maybe just maybe if he is really asking for it purposely clash his racket with mine. And Tell him that "Hey! that's my shot!" & Your in the way!".

4 Infuriate him (b), purposely loose the game by intentionally not hitting the shuttle and try as if your trying your best. And smile to him after loosing.

Like I said before if i reached a certain age that i could accept by just MELLOWING down I'm not taking his verbal abuses and take the pleasure in destroying his "tiny world"...

Calm down... I know I am not good enough for a lot of players, but I don't mind this could be brought up in public. If even Chen Hong could lose badly in 1 day, I am sure I won't be anywhere close to that anyway.

The thing I brought up the example was, I tend to (of course, if u prefer other ways, fine with me, ppl are different) solve the problem with least effort, and try to avoid "more" trouble.

1. If u know someone doing something wrong, u just want to be even worse, what's the point. Besides the fact other members will look ur 2 as the same kind, and mis-judge u, I don't see any point.

2. Already metioned. Winning or losing a game, does not proof who has better personality / sportsmanship.

3. On purposely damage other ppl's equipment is not acceptable to me (if that's a good solution, lucky i am not in the same club). What' the point for such action for an adult? To me, it's more like a baby fight. A group of 4,5 yrs old kids might doing that, like throw away each other's toys, drawings, etc. What u will feel if someone doing this to u? Say, break ur Mp100 on purpose? Will u calm down, and thinking about who's right or wrong? I am afraid there will be more trouble, like ppl jumping on each other and start a fight.

4. Out of the 4 lists, this one I might consider to apply but only if I am REALLY mad. I might not even lose it (waste time) but just step away and join other games. I know it's not anywhere close to "sportsmanship", but might consider to end the "pain" earlier, since I am sure no one was really enjoying it anyway.

Overall, my solutions tend to be "effortless" or peaceful. I really don't care what he/she (the rude player) will say about me. Whatever he/she says, such as I suck, refuse to listen, don't want to "improve", etc, I might just consider as a joke. I think the public will have a fair judgement toward each individual.

To me, some heated up action or "revenge" attempt will only make the situation to be even worse. Also, ppl might just consider we are the "Same kind". Blood for blood might be "cool", but did not make too much sense to me.

Like many ppl metioned before, we are coming to learn, to practice, to make friends, to have FUN. I am not going there to prepare for a war / fight. If some unhappiness occurs, I will try to stay calm, and win at last (when the rude player being isolated and kickd out from teh generaly public). Then, I will show a big smile. ;)

[Cheung]

A lot of discussion on this.

Several options discussed.

People should decide what is most appropriate for them under their own circumstances.

BF does not support violence.

Thread closed.