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Any advice?

Discussion in 'Chit-Chat' started by Ayame, Nov 26, 2007.

  1. Ayame

    Ayame Regular Member

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    Lately I figured out that there was a badminton program held near my house every Sunday. My brother and I went to go check it out and I liked it. The next Sunday I asked my mom to drive me there again to get signed up and she said no. her reason was that guys also played there and that I wasn't allowed to play badminton with guys. This didn't make much sense to me becuase why did she let me go for a trial session beforehand if I couldn't sign up? I tried to explain to them that badminton didn't involve any phsical contact but they didn't understand. My dad even said no after he gave me the money needed to sign up...:confused: I told them to check it out for themselves but they refused. What should I do :crying:???
     
  2. silentheart

    silentheart Regular Member

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    I am very sorry to hear your paernts' objection. That really sucks.

    Are there enough female players there to form a regular double group in the place? If so, can you ask the person in charge to reserve a court for female players part of the time so you do not need to interact with the male player. If that can be done, you can let your parents know that option that they repect your parent's religion believe very much and it does address their concerns.
     
  3. cooler

    cooler Regular Member

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    sounds kinda strict to me but i'm not your parents:D
     
  4. Ayame

    Ayame Regular Member

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    My parents told me some totally confusing and screwed up explanantion. They said something like "in the future when you get married no one's gonna marry you if you played with boys. What if you're walking in the mall with your fiancee and a boy says hi to you and your fiancee gets suspicious?" I was like wtf is that supposed to mean?!? I wouldn't marry some over-powering freak in the first place and I'm the least bit worried about marrirage at my age. My parents have some totally messed up logic. It's mostly becuase we're muslim and if someone from my mosque saw me playing badminton with boys my parents say their reputation would be ruined. I was so shocked at their stupidity that I thought I had some sort of hearing disorder.

    I would walk to the centre myself but the program's at night and it's really freezing. I'm thinking about walking there in the morning and doing my homework there untill it's time to play, and then take a taxi back home, but it's too much work and I would bore myself to death for hours waiting to play. My parents would probably kill me as well.

    Might i add that I'm allowed to try out for badminton at school (in the presence of boys) and not sign up at the centre, which makes it 10x more confusing.
     
  5. LazyBuddy

    LazyBuddy Regular Member

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    I feel sorry to hear that, but such conflicts are very common between generations, especially for new immigrants. The older generation lives in their traditional lives, but the kids are more westernized, and prefer freedom over anything.

    Is that possible to go with a small group of trust worthy friends, or family members? So, you parents will feel better, as they are not "strangers"? :rolleyes:
     
  6. silentheart

    silentheart Regular Member

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    Just expend on what LB said. Why not ask your parents to go with you and see there is nothing fishy on badminton court. We are all ladies and gentalmen here. Just make sure you explain to other players that you are not allow to shake guy's hand because of cultual difference. Most of people will understand.
     
  7. Ayame

    Ayame Regular Member

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    My parents refuse to go with me because they say they're too busy (which they're seriously not) and because it doesn't matter if I go with friends becuase guys will still be there. Most of my friends can't/don't like to play badminton, and the ones that can are guys, so yeah...that would only make the situation worse.:eek:
     
  8. LazyBuddy

    LazyBuddy Regular Member

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    Is that possible to ask the program director or coach to contact your parents? Usually, a trust worthy adult's word worth much more than a young kid. Hopefully, they can bring up some valid point to solve the problem, as well as pay special care to you in the program, due to cultual / reglion needs.
     
  9. silentheart

    silentheart Regular Member

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    Do you have any adult relitives in your area? How about any of your parents friends who live in Canada much longer with more open mind? Their word might carry more weight in your parents' ears. I really hate to suggest this. Would wearing a vail while you play help?
     
  10. cooler

    cooler Regular Member

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    sorry hear about your situation. It is a double standard. Your male frens can play badminton with the girls but you can't play with the guys. Some of the advices given here are pretty good, keep trying but slowly.
     
  11. Ayame

    Ayame Regular Member

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    You keep forgetting the 'r' in cultural.
     
  12. Ayame

    Ayame Regular Member

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    No, I don't have any 'open minded' relatives or family friends who live in Canada. And no wearing a veil wouldn't help me out either because I don't wear one on a regular basis (even though my mom is frequently telling me to). Besides, I can only imagine how annoying it would be having on a veil while playing badminton.
     
  13. koo_fan

    koo_fan Regular Member

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    im a muslim too, sis and i'll say just talk to ur parents.theres no objection in our religion to be involve in sport.indeed,we are encouraged by islam.if ur parents are talking about religion,they might be wrong.i think it is about culture.

    ur parents are trying to protect u.from strangers and community.maybe the problem is about how other muslims in ur neighbourhood will look at u as a female badminton player..u are in canada.im from malaysia.of course, we are different.

    my advice is..TALK to them Communicate..understanding...love..support..victory..thats how this problem will be solved.
    and do remember.sis..theres a limit in everything in islam.thats what ur community trying to do..to emphasize all the limits in islam.taking care of our muslims.good thing but in a wrong way..
     
  14. Ayame

    Ayame Regular Member

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    I realize that it's more of a cultural thing but my parents are very old fashioned so my word doesn't mean much to them, no matter how calmly and lovingly I talk. Most of the people that are in the club are people that I know anyway, so they're not total strangers, and even though I told my parents that, they still say no. They've got excuses to dodge all of my reasoning.
     
  15. koo_fan

    koo_fan Regular Member

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    u are in a tough situation,sis..how should i help u?

    do u care to explain to me how do u dressed up to play badminton ?
    if u dont mind..
     
  16. Ayame

    Ayame Regular Member

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    I wear jogging pants and a t-shirt or full sleeves.
     
  17. cooler

    cooler Regular Member

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    that it hot!! really hot... literally;)
     
  18. Ayame

    Ayame Regular Member

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    It's not that warm, actually. My jogging pants are really thin and so are my
    t-shirts, and it's also freezing in the gym that I play in.
     
  19. cooler

    cooler Regular Member

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    koo, from the sound of it, it seem ayame's parents reasons aren't related to sports, type of attire, lack of time or anything but rather is related to a greater fear emotion based perception of what their relatives think of them. Ayame's challenge is alot bigger than it appear. Not just changing her parents mindset, she basically has to convince all their relatives as well.
     
    #19 cooler, Nov 28, 2007
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2007
  20. Ayame

    Ayame Regular Member

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    Right on. Glad someone understands :D !!
     

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