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Playing with an arrogant player

Discussion in 'General Forum' started by Nict_26, Dec 11, 2013.

  1. Nict_26

    Nict_26 Regular Member

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    hi peeps,

    have this problem with certain player in one of my groups.
    first, he is good. backhand can hit crosscourt baseline that kinda standards.

    that where the problem lies, he is good such that he becomes complacent and starts reprimanding ppl.

    btw he is a singles player. i have lost countless times to him thou the scores are usually close.


    so in this group of mine, i am somewhat neither here nor there, not that good but not that bad either.

    partnering him was a nitemare with constant bombardment e.g. serving short on my side was bad and when he short serve it is perfectly fine. it seems that mistakes made by partner is not tolerable but mistakes made by him are alright, think you guys get the drift?

    at first, i thought i was the only one with problems with him but it seems couple of my friends are feeling that he is too arrogant.

    at times, i just feel like packing up my bags and leave but it wouldn't be nice.i mean badminton to me is just a leisure game of fun, enjoyment and workout. to him, it is like a fault finding mission, everytime he loses someone else takes the blame.

    how can i deal better with this kind of player(other than improving my game)

    any advise? thanks
     
    #1 Nict_26, Dec 11, 2013
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2013
  2. swunk

    swunk Regular Member

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    you're overthinking this. it is normal that better players are looking down to worse ones that can't make a competition or make lousy partners.
    you should develop a positive attitude and try to learn from him. or if it bothers you that much - don't play with him.
     
  3. catman

    catman Regular Member

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    How about tell him to "chill out" or find another group. Maybe point him another more competitive group that plays at his level.
     
  4. kwun

    kwun Administrator

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    Unfortunately, Given that he is arrogant, he probably won't listen to what other people say. I have seen people like that before.
     
  5. visor

    visor Regular Member

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    Perhaps just tell him nicely to "relax, it's just a game, we're all here to have fun... and if you don't find it fun, well" ... ;) ;)
     
  6. Exert

    Exert Regular Member

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    I'm a teenager. And there's plenty of cocky/Arrogant people at my school. In my experience when you tell them off like to relax or be nice etc it kinda makes them more angry... I suggest you should just stay away from him. I mean I am confident at times I have to admit but I never step to a extreme level of arrogance.

    I know how you feel. People are really arrogant but yet when I still beat them they're like "wow it was a fluke" or "I wasn't even trying".
     
  7. SmashAndDash

    SmashAndDash Regular Member

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    You can change your own attitude, but trying to change someone else's is not worth your time and effort. It sounds like your "friend" makes playing less enjoyable for you.

    If you're the type for confrontation, you can say "hey, I get that you're more skilled than me, but you nagging on me all the time won't improve me, and you're really making this less fun for me". If he responds something like "I'm just trying to help you!" or "You're so bad I can't have fun!" let him know that you aren't here for competition, but for leisure, or that you'd rather he only "help" you when you ask.

    If he doesn't back off after you've told him you don't appreciate his behavior, I'd stop playing with him. If your group plays at a club with challenge courts, encourage him to go play there, where competition is desired. There are always bigger fish, and unless he is the #1 player in your area, perhaps he can learn some humility.

    (Personally, I tend to be the overly competitive friend in the group. There's a definite difference in the mentality of "I'm just here for fun" and " I want to win! And improve! So I can win more!". One is not better than the other, and the two are not mutually exclusive.)
     
  8. Bomex

    Bomex Regular Member

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    Well,if such players are inconsiderate,we can always play elsewhere,or he can always play elsewhere. We are not obligated to tolerate such unsportsmanship players
     
  9. Nict_26

    Nict_26 Regular Member

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    thanks all for your advice. guess itz time to change group.
     
  10. visor

    visor Regular Member

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    Nah, if he's the only problem player, why do you have to move? Just avoid partnering him.
     
  11. Nict_26

    Nict_26 Regular Member

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    i am looking at playing with alternate groups so chances of playing him is lesser, so less conflicts and more enjoyable game...
    i will still meet him once in a while to see whether i have improve..

    anyways, thanks ya all for the advice. appreciate it
     
  12. anjoooo

    anjoooo Regular Member

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    I'm of two minds about this.

    On one hand, I'm a pretty confrontation-averse kind of guy. I would usually rather just ignore an arrogant player or attempt to avoid playing with him/her as much as possible. Who needs that kind of drama in your life, amirite? Live and let live, etc...I usually take this approach.

    On the other hand, sometimes people really need to be taught a lesson. If people continue to let them get away with being arrogant/annoying/bad tempered, then they're going to continue to be that way. It only brings down the rest of the group. Some people are really good at telling people off and not getting too emotionally involved in it. Or, they can tell them off in a way so that there's minimal fallout or hurt egos. If you think you can handle it, then perhaps you should take this approach. For the record, I can never do this kind of thing :p

    Good luck!
     
  13. Cheung

    Cheung Moderator

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    I have a little side story to this. In one group I played in, this guy turns up. Good player but a bit of a mean streak. Not arrogant but a bit mean - the type that would ask for help but not reciprocate or only give cursory thanks. When we play games, any marginal calls are in his favour - he's that competitive.

    I know he's mean from some of his business dealings that we hear through the grapevine. But it's none of our business.

    One day, his wife comes down and makes a commotion. This guy has been having an affair and his wife is out for a confrontation. Why she has to pick our session is sheer bad luck? Or perhaps the second women plays in our club! Of course , none of us knew but is it anything we should stick our noses into is another matter?

    Police eventually get called, things settle but then flare up again after the police have left. Mr Affair had got into another fight with a club member. The police get called a second time. The hall is part of a school and the headmaster gets really pissed off banning all badminton clubs forever. :(

    Mr Affair gets banned from the club but the damage has been done. The club has to move from a very central location and nice hall to one further away. Too far away for me to continue.

    Should Mr Affair have been excluded earlier...?
     
  14. Cheung

    Cheung Moderator

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    My story illustrates that perhaps you don't have to move. If you were playing in the group before he came along, then should he be the one to make way? If other people are annoyed, then it's time to speak to the group organiser explaining the situation. The group organiser(s) can explain to Mr Arrogant some of his problems. If doesn't change, then please don't come.
     
  15. vcrpex

    vcrpex Regular Member

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    i have an ex-colleague who is like that. Keep on pinpointing my mistakes and say that i make alot of mistakes. Til one day i gave him the taste of his same medicine but saying him back that he also make mistakes and eventually he get it that i dun like him to keep nagging during the gameplay. Because it really piss me off when he keep nitpicking non-stop. His intentions might be good and i do want to improve my game play too but not during when we are playing a game. And he does not like to rotate when playing doubles. most of the time it is front back formation, yet he doesnt smash that much but like to play base ball most of the time. No one is perfect, even the pros make mistake. yes.. alot of people who like to play badminton are pretty much perfectionists or very competitive even in just leisure game. Though what i really cannot stand about some of the partners that i played with is that they do not attempt to go for every shot, some even give up before the shuttle hit the ground. Yes not all shots can be recovered from position but alot more can be recovered if we just try alittle harder. thus now i dun partner him most of the time, i rather play against my ex-colleague and whack him in the body when i can.
     
  16. gundamzaku

    gundamzaku Regular Member

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    best advice i can give you is that you play against him only, because he's a bad partner. the stress you get from him by playing with him is not needed and life is too damn short to deal with people like that! but if you play with him, and if he is in fact better than you, then he will expose your weaknesses on court, which should help you better your game. now if he's such a jerk that his arrogance affect his opponents, then that's just poor sportsmanship and you should stop playing with all together, it's just not worth it. it is better to start over and find another group without him being in it :)
     
  17. gundamzaku

    gundamzaku Regular Member

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    i am with you that i am too overly competitive even just for fun playing whatever with my significant other to the point where she's telling me i really need to chill out or she'll leave me, LOL. so after that, i constantly check myself of my attitude toward her and toward everyone else when i'm participating in a sporting event. (sometimes i even compete in cheering for my favorite badminton player, pretty sad)

    i agree that stop playing with the person would be the quickest way to solve the problem with minimal headaches :)


    very interesting story, it's like reading a gossip column from HK, i love it. if you have more, please share (sorry i'm nosy!!!)

    i like your idea of whacking him in the body, jk :)
     
  18. beermonstertw

    beermonstertw Regular Member

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    These things happen,yes.Nothing personal,too.I like the idea,too.I've had a lot of fun,too.You make me a bruise ,I make one back.People get really nasty at times.You deal with it depends on the circumstances;you grow with better personality,you learn from these things as well.
     
    #18 beermonstertw, Dec 24, 2013
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2013
  19. visor

    visor Regular Member

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    Yes, that's why, in order to prevent these antisocial characters from poisoning our playing environment, our fearless group leader is particularly selective as to who to invite to join on a regular basis. They have to pass a personality test first during the first few visits before being given the OK to join. ;)
     
  20. catman

    catman Regular Member

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    You mean they have to apply to join the club before being accepted - sort of like those snooty private clubs?
     

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