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tennis player jokes

Discussion in 'Chit-Chat' started by The Badminator, Aug 29, 2002.

  1. The Badminator

    The Badminator New Member

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    Q: What do you call a tennis player with two brain cells?
    A: Pregnant

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    A badminton player, a squash player and a tennis player decided to stay at a country inn, but when they arrived there, the innkeeper told them he only had 2 beds free, one of them would have to sleep in the barn.

    "That's OK", said the badminton payer, "I`ll sleep in the barn." So off he went.

    A few moments later there was a knock at the inn door. The innkeeper opened the door to see the badminton palyer who explained that he was unable to sleep in the barn as there was a pig in there, and he could not sleep with a pig.

    "That's OK," said the squash player., "I`ll sleep there."

    So off he went. A few moments later there was a knock at the inn door. The innkeeper opened the door to see the squash player there, who explained that he was unable to sleep in the barn as there was a cow in there, and he could not sleep with a cow.

    "That's OK," said the tennis player, "I`ll sleep there." So off he went. A few moments later there was a knock at the inn door. The innkeeper opened the door to see a cow and a pig stood there......

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    Q: What do you see when you look into a tennis player's eyes?
    A: The back of his head.
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    A badminton player runs into the toilet absolutely desperate to relieve himself, he runs up to the urinal and after some fumbling pulls out a very impressive 12" penis and begins urinating, in relief he cries out, "Just made it"!

    A tennis player who was standing at the next urinal turns to him and says "Really? can you make me one too?"!!!
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    Two badminton players were standing at a bar, one said to the other : "You know, tennis players are such arseholes!" A man walked up to them and with a mad look on his face said : "I find that statement offensive!"

    One of the baminton players replied : "Oh, you must be a tennis player."

    "No" the man said : "I'm an arsehole!"
    --------
    Q: What do you call a tennis player with two brain cells?
    A: Pregnant
    --------
    A badminton player and a tennis player get into a car accident, and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt.After they crawl out of their cars, the badminton player spots the other's tennis gear and says, "So you're a tennis player, that's interesting. I'm a badminton player... Gosh! Just look at our cars, there's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

    The tennis player replied: "I agree with you completely; this must be a sign from God!"

    The badminton player continued, "And look at this - here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of whisky didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this and celebrate our good fortune."

    Then he hands the bottle to the tennis player. The tennis layer nods his head in agreement, opens it and takes a few big gulps from the bottle, then hands it back to the badminton player.

    The badminton player takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the tennis player. The tennis player asks, "Aren't you having any?"

    The badminton player replies, "No. I think I will just wait for the police to turn up..."

    --------
    There was this group of people on a tour-bus. The guide on the bus asked
    if someone on the bus could tell the rest a joke, whereupon a man got up
    and said that he could tell a tennis player joke. Suddenly a bloke in the back
    of the bus said, "No, don't do that. I`m a tennis player."
    The guide looked at him and said,
    "That's okay. We'll explain it to you afterwards."
     
  2. xx-keeper-xx

    xx-keeper-xx Regular Member

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    lol, those made me chuckle. i liked the one with the barn
     
  3. bigredlemon

    bigredlemon Regular Member

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    That sounds like a list of blond jokes with the word "blond" replaced with the words "tennis player"?
     
  4. fanatico

    fanatico Regular Member

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    thanks. for slowing down global warming.
     
  5. Robin (SWE)

    Robin (SWE) Regular Member

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    LOL:D :D Great man! nice job. those are my favourites
     
  6. pengu1ns

    pengu1ns Regular Member

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    HAHA, i like it Badminator, I like it *Claps*
     
  7. indo_gal

    indo_gal Regular Member

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    lolx... nice one...
     
  8. SystemicAnomaly

    SystemicAnomaly Regular Member

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    independently unwealthy, part-time tennis instruct
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    Very amusing.:D

    ZERO posts ??? Whatever happened to The Badminator? Was a "Don Imus" action taken against this poster -- politically incorrect tennis bigotry?:eek:
     

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