This is the jokes that my lecturer shown to her students in one of her boring lectures to reduce our boredom. Which I found quite funny....Especially those highlighted in red.... A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. Husbands are like cars-all of them are good the first year. If women knew what men were thinking they'd never stop slapping them. A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants. A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item that she doesn't want. Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a more subtle instinct-they like to be a man's last romance. The only way to understand a woman is to love her and then it isn't necessary to understand her. To women love is an occupation. To men it is a preoccupation. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. A woman marries a man expecting he will change but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. Men marry because they are tired. Women marry because they are curious. A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her. A man will cherish the memory of the woman he didn't marry. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman-before marriage and after marriage. Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way and the other is to let her have it. Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die. Any married man should forget his mistakes-no use two people remembering the same thing. Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anthing a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women. Women have two weapons--cosmetics and tears.