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Too focused on winning?

Discussion in 'General Forum' started by SantaSCSI, Nov 5, 2012.

  1. SantaSCSI

    SantaSCSI Regular Member

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    Yesterday evening after the weekend closing session another member of the club I frequent told me he'd rather not play with/against me anymore. The situation that led to it was as following:

    I was playing with him against 2 decent beginners. I am a very attacking player while he is as passive as can be. He clears everything even when he can simply drop the shuttle, which quickly came to the attention of our opponents. Halfway into the first game they were already sitting at the rear of the court, ready to kill off the clears. They were clearly having a fun time, while I could do nothing more than just take the smashes. By the end of the first game I told him to attack more, but we lost the second one with 8 and 9 because the clears kept coming.

    I was already tensed because he just kept cool and carried on, seemingly not caring what I asked. At the end of the match I was so frustrated with being the bulls-eye at a carnival that I threw my racket to the other side of the court.

    So yesterday he told me "it's just a game to me, and I don't like it that you are so focused on winning. I've never experienced this in the 15yrs I've played and I'd rather avoid playing with or against you".

    Am I the only one around here who got "blamed" for wanting to win and am I just too much focused on winning games? In the other club I play at (also in the club management team there) I sometimes play with older people who have no hope of improving one bit (and don't pretend to) and I never lost my cool there, no matter how ridiculous it gets.
     
  2. KayakerSteve

    KayakerSteve Regular Member

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    If I was in a club setting, and some "decent beginners" were beating me with smashes from the back of the court I think I would treat it as a training day because clearly I need to work on my smash return.

    I am not going to comment on the racquet throwing, as I imagine you regret doing that.
     
  3. visor

    visor Regular Member

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    I emphatize with your situation.

    In my group, as the stronger player I,m usually partnered with a weaker player against two medium players. You can guess what happens, my partner will get picked on by the opponents and eventually there will be no way out when they attack. I would just treat it as a lost game from the very beginning and try to work on your shot placement to get a few points. No point in getting yourself worked up in a social club setting after all.
     
    #3 visor, Nov 5, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2012
  4. kaki!

    kaki! Regular Member

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    I sometimes take advantage of beginners' short serves to practise my net kill, and they stop doing short serves and always give me high serves :(
    My rationale is they aren't that much of beginners... unlike those that can't even lift from mid court to mid court...

    Yea, like with 3 guys and a girl. At least I'm not the one smashing on girls...
     
  5. pcll99

    pcll99 Regular Member

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    you should try to do your best to win, but you must maintain a respectful attitude towards others.
     
  6. wlachan

    wlachan Regular Member

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    Single suits you better. Enough said.
     
  7. latecomer

    latecomer Regular Member

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    You are over reacted. May be he did not want to play with you to begin with. If you don't like his style of playing, don,t play with him. In the end, it is only a game for 99% for majority of us unless you last name is lin or lee.
     
  8. vixter

    vixter Regular Member

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    If the point is to play a competitive match you are right to give your partner advice, and if he is playing every shuttle high he could surely use some tactical advice... But maybe he is simply not good enough yet to understand or be able to play an attacking game.

    At the same time, you throwing your racket makes me think you take it way too seriously as well. A double match is never completely in your own hands since the team is not much stronger than the weakest player. Be less focused on winning if you feel that your team is not strong enough to have a good chance.
     
  9. KayakerSteve

    KayakerSteve Regular Member

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    The way I read it I assumed Santa was the weaker play on their side of the net since the opponents successful targeted him. "I was so frustrated with being the bulls-eye at a carnival"

     
  10. raistian

    raistian Regular Member

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    This. Nobody likes a sore loser. Throwing your racquet is disrespectful to others, your gear & the sport. We're not tennis players ;)

    You said that you never lose your cool playing with "hopeless" players.
    I'm going to guess that on paper you'd win the game (your side have the better players, individually). You expected a win & got upset when things didn't go your way. If this is the case, you have to manage your expectations :D
     
  11. diverdan

    diverdan Regular Member

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    Accept his ways and decision. Don't play with him again and you'll both be happy.
     
  12. |_Footwork_|

    |_Footwork_| Regular Member

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    of course you always want to win!
    whenever you play a match (be it in a club or tournament), you want to win.
    but you have to learn to be respectful and deal with defeat.
     
  13. sayshh

    sayshh Regular Member

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    I have seen the same thing happening with one of the pairs that play in our club... one of the guys who is a very good player seems to be just content with lifting the shuttle to baseline and keep the rally going rather than just finish off the point.. although he does have killer jump-smashes and excellent touch play.

    And his partner often gets frustrated and keeps persuading him to go for kill rather than just tossing it back, then the usual racket-throwing wall-kicking, swearing happens. :p No kidding his partner broke 2 racquets that way..

    I usually just take it easy, get to the back-court when paired with player who is not to win, and practice drops and jump smashes and tactical play.
     
    #13 sayshh, Nov 6, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2012
  14. maxout

    maxout Regular Member

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    Doubles are always fraught with such interaction problems - best to play singles if you are the uber-competitive type.
     
  15. SantaSCSI

    SantaSCSI Regular Member

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    Singles is the better option, though I prefer doubles/mixed :p.

    To clarify the smashing/beatings. A lot of the smashes were aimed towards my partner, but when he returns them too short, they just end up halfway the court and end up in my basket. I can recover a lot of smashes, but I'm not Lin Dan. That's what I meant with being at the carnival: they clear, he clears, they smash, he lifts too short, bam in my face.
    May have gotten lost in translation there.

    Maybe my expectations were not up to par as raistian said. I consider myself to have a lot of sportmanship because I don't mind playing against a much stronger pair or with someone who isn't that good. I am pretty error prone myself, so I know I am nowhere near the top dawgs ;).

    I guess it was just the way he acted, as if he didn't care, that pulled me over the line :(.
     
  16. raistian

    raistian Regular Member

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    Well, it doesn't look like you two are going to be partners again any time soon, so chalk it up as experience I'd say.

    IMO if you're that competitive, perhaps a social game isn't for you? Maybe find other players with similar competitiveness?

    Instead of throwing rackets, people should just hand them over to me :D
     
  17. phili

    phili Regular Member

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    The way you described it you played in a non-competetive enviroment which is more about having a good time than winning the game. I can understand his decision.
     
  18. |_Footwork_|

    |_Footwork_| Regular Member

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    i can understand you! it's a waste of time to hit some birdies around "for fun". the fun comes from trying your best and trying to win. therefore, it is not funny to play with:
    a) players much below your standard.
    b) players that don't care if they win or lose.

    b) is worse than a).

    lesson learned: don't play with that guy anymore...
     
  19. Aurora_

    Aurora_ Regular Member

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    Everyone is willing to lose to a better player, but frustrated when lose to a lesser player ;P Try look for open sessions, more competitive group to satisfy your desire to win. Nothing wrong with that, I have encounter groups like that, and also the opposite, good players fooling around end up losing easy points. Everyone has different expectation of the game.

    I guess your partner might have felt the pressure with you, so he went for the safer shot (clearing high rather than hitting the net if he drop/smash). Best advice I can give, is to make mistake yourself. Try risky shots, make mistake, let your partner know it is ok to try for other type of shots and you are not perfect either. Laugh a little and encourage him. You may lose the game faster, and your partner may improve as fast as you lose the games.

    Over here, throwing racquet isn't exactly offending or insulting. We consider those who do that as immature player :) (no offense!)
     
  20. thumpsky

    thumpsky Regular Member

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    when people say they play "just for fun" that means they don't train, or do drills, or whatnot.

    However, in the spirit of athletics you are expected to give YOUR BEST during the time you are there. If you purposely throw a game for the sake of absurdity or amusement, I find that disrespectful and a waste of time.

    I've only been in your situation once, and I was the person who chose not to play with the joker.

    In any case, he did you a favor, but if you want to argue who's right i'm gonna side with the person who actually SHOWS UP to an athletic endeavor.
     

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