I have a badminton partner, who's several years younger than me. Back in the days, he listen to all constructive criticism I gave. Such as "You're not using the 4 corners", "If you're having trouble smashing, just do safe accurate smash instead of hard smashes" or the likes. I never scolded him or anything. After several years of playing singles together, his score is getting closer and closer to beating me, heck, he beat me once in a blue moon. As this happens, he stop listening to me. Whenever I offer him advice, he just shrug it as "I'm not playing well today", "I can play so much better than this." I'm partly to blame, I'm a defensive, rally type of player who score points from out-maneuvering my opponent, or getting point through their mistakes as the rally went longer(I do have pretty good tap smash mind you), Or what a lot will call "Bull Cr*p saves" and somehow wins the point. Exactly because of this, whenever he loses, he didn't think that's it's due to ability difference, but difference in his form. (Basically, when he beats me, it's all skills, and when he loses, it's because he's playing bad... 90% of the time) As the years develop, he picked up a... slightly stronger smash. Probably on par of mine in doubles. Problem is, it's flat, thus it's not threatening. He started playing doubles with me. I'll be frank, I'm not the best doubles player. I do not have a monster smash, nor do I have the ability to cut down weak returns. The only thing I'm good at in doubles is counter attacking and maintaining the attack. (I only smash hard if I'm comfortable, otherwise, I light smash to maintain the attack through angle, or drops to the middle.) Unlike me, he believe dearly that doubles is all about the boom boom boom. He drives everything, smash everything that's high, and don't like to serve and often complain about "Didn't I serve last time?!" Sorry kid... I served. (Because, well... He want to smash, and serves happen to be a strongest part of my game in doubles) At the moment, he believe he's better than me and absolutely refuse to take my advice at all. Like today, when I told him that double is not all about the smash, but have to use some brain in it, he just turned around and refuse to listen. (Let me explain the previous rally, the other team are attacking, they drop, I lunged forward and clear it.... They drop again, I lunged forward and clear again. They smash, I counter by pushing it straight, they return it, not that good of a return, I step forward and just tap in down between the two and wins the point. As I turn around to celebrate the point, I was greet by "Stop clearing". I know his intention, he wanted me to step forward and drive those steep drops down (Crazy, I know)... You know... Doubles should be BOOM BOOM) At the moment, he just stop listening to me. And will only listen to players who he deem worthy, (Obviously, I'm no longer a player he deem worthy) I can't help him that way, both as a senior or as a possible doubles partner. And there is so much more to his game that he have to change, E.G He STILL DON'T know how to use the 4 corners properly. He didn't smash the middle in doubles, he always swing too much at the front and hit it out, he's too "Smash crazy" and his smashes are usually doing more harm than good cuz of how flat it is. How am I suppose to deal with a player like this? Get a stronger player to give him advice? (btw, the stronger players didn't respect me too much either, cuz I can only win 70% of the time because... well... they won't stop making mistakes, their shot won't reach the corners, they are somehow fatigue, they're injured somewhere, they're not as fit as me etc etc.) *This part is singles btw. And somehow, they respect me less in doubles because of this. How to deal with this player....? Actually, how to deal with all this?! Whenever I win, it's always because they're playing bad, and because of that, I get little respect/acknowledgement from teammates, because when they beat me, it's true strength showing... Yeah. EDIT: Sorry about all this, I know it's a long text to read... But I'm getting quite tired of this happening all the time.
The young guy has been like a student to you. He sees that he has improved and he is now your doubles partner. Therefore he wants to be treated like a partner and not a student. He sees that some parts of his game even exceed some parts of your game, so he believes he's your equal. Therefore any advice from you he sees as condescending and a blow to his ego. This isn't to say that he is right in not accepting constructive criticism. But to a youth, constant correction from your partner is like a nagging mother's advice-- you begin to resent it, no matter how right it is. If you are going to stay partners with this guy, then you should take a page from parenting handbooks: 'Notice the Good'. This means that you compliment him for the things he's doing right much more often than pointing out his mistakes. I mean at a ratio of 10:1. This means you'll have to force yourself to hold back some comments. And force yourself to say "good shot" for some routine stuff. But if you do it sincerely, he may stop holding his breath after every mistake, waiting for the inevitable "helpful comment". The trust will build, and perhaps you two can be an effective pair who can communicate in a positive manner. If this tactic sounds hopeless for your particular case, then simply change partners.
I guess it's true about the nagging part. Except, I acknowledge his improvement every time he did something right... Like, at one stage, he actually uses his brain much better, i complemented him... he kept it up, and 2 weeks later, he turn back into the brainless player again. Then I told him he didn't think about how he play, and he said he's playing badly or his form drop. The same can be said about his smashing, it goes down for a week, and flat for 2 months. Sometimes I wonder if I should even compliment him, because it's only a sudden spike of form, but not an actual improvement. Saying that he improved feel like I'm lying to him. I guess I'll just leave him be and see how he turn out by himself.
You pretty much said it yourself. A player will never truly respect you unless you've beaten them. I used to question/criticize my partner's judgement, but there's simply no point. Just enjoy yourself and try to have fun ! The ones who really want to improve are the ones that ask questions and learn from others -- not the ones who get unsolicited help.
Without seeing how you two were communicating, I could only guess. Experience taught me that nobody enjoyed to be constantly lectured, which is what you have been doing persistently. You are neither his elder nor his coach, just let him or anyone be and enjoy the games. From what I can tell, you are trying to dictate how he plays and if it were me, I would avoid you like a plague. And if you are so annoyed by the way he is, just look for another partner.
all very good advice already if there's one thing that i know that most people don't like... it's unsolicited advice they're neither prepared to receive it nor asking for it... so you have to be extra careful how your tone of voice and presentation comes across, even if you're 100% better than them skill wise another thing, if you look at it from his point of view, his development is also none of your business... it's his choice and freedom to play as he wants to. it's not as if you're in serious competition... if you are, then it's up to the coach (who has his respect) to tell him
to me why shd u bother when a person doesnt want to listen to u he is paying u for your advice? just play yr own game i am sure he is mature to decide what he wants to play u shdnt b so possessive n insist on him listening to u..
Stop giving advice that isnt asked for. If you want to play with better players, join a club with better players. The majority of club players aren't interested in improving - How many get coaching or do drills? How many ask for advice?
we are interested in improving, but it's a balance between improving and not putting in too much effort.
We are on this forum more passionate about badminton than others, and there are some unlike us who like to just play and really have no desire, or as you say no desire to put in the effort, to improve.
wow I am glad to see all these clever comments in the action that should take place against the thread starter's post.
