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  1. #1
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    Unhappy Bad things always hapen in 3's ( I hope)

    Ok Starting off back in January the day after the Stanford tournament

    No 1. Due to my employment a lot of heavy lifting is involved. After playing a lot of games and going to work the next day my back suddenly gave out and was off work/playing for 2 months, no wages only social of $350 every two weeks.

    No 2. My Korean wife of all of 18 months annouces that she is going to divorce me, one of the reasons being that I cannot provide for her financially (She thinks Rolex watches are great presents). I came over here in Aug 2002 with no intention of getting married, just to travel she proposed to me, not many jobs goings and at 42 yrs of age there is even less around. Started off at Trader joes on $9 an hour and living in san Mateo that does not go far! Walked and cycled to work to save money. Worked hard there, never getting a weekend off, just about to go full time then got a job with BART, good pay and great benifits, told her it would be a good idea to SAVE SAVE SAVE and try and buy a condo or something as soon as we could, she wanted to go to Italy, said I was being selfish with my money and that basically I should give to her what I do not need. Then said I had to get out of the apt as soon as possible. Refused to let me see my step daughter again despite having taken both them back to Ireland last year (at a cost of $5500 paid for by me)

    No.3 Entered for the Bintang tournament hoping it would cheer me up!! 5 minutes into the mens doubles I go for a smash, do a little leap and manage to tear my calf muscle, instant agony. Taken to the hospital and given crutches to walk around with for the next ten days. That happened on a Sunday, on the Monday I was supposed to officially start training with my new job which involves a lot of walking, told I will have to drop out and wait until the next class starts and until then I can do office work. Had to look for a new apt on crutches and finally moved out last weekend!!!

    So life goes on, no badminton for at least another 4 - 5 weeks, waiting for the divorce papers to come through and not much furniture at the moment, although IKEA have a good sale on.

    Hopefully things can only better!!
    Last edited by freeheeler; 06-04-2004 at 12:01 PM.

  2. #2
    Administrator kwun's Avatar
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    FH,

    really very sorry to hear that. crisis (sh*t) in life happens and sometimes they just keep pouring. i hope you will find strength in dealing with it. but think about it this way, things will only get better from now.

    i had my share of crisis in life, remember there was a year i had my gf broke up on me, then my apt got broken into, a few days later, i got into a car accident, almost got my car totalled and then the insurance won't pay. that was a very very crappy miserable few months of my life, but that was a while ago and i think i have grown stronger since.

    just take it step by step, there is no dead-end. find strength from your friends, friends are the best ppl to be with during crisis. that's something i have learned.

  3. #3
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    Take it easy freeheeler..I've had my share of problems last term..although it really is my own fault. But I feel that I can turn around..as I have friends that support me. And of course all of us BF'ers are here to support you

    I believe that the divorce would be for the better. Spending on unnecessary things like Rolexes is plainly selfish. Buying a condo to plan for your future is definitely not. I live in a situation similar to yours; my parents split up because of financial problems. But it is the other way around; my mother saves money so that they can start a business but my dad is spending too much. They are better off separated.

    You can probably count as many things going wrong as you want, but focusing on the negative is bad. Remember good times and how to be happy again. I think you should find that this break from work and badminton a good time to relax and pull yourself together. Talk to your friends and family..they might be able to help.

    Once you are well again..remember to be more careful.

    I hope you get well soon!

  4. #4
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    Awful string of luck there, Freeheeler. But things get better with time. The fact that you can share your experience show that you're on a path of recovery.

    Feelings of overwhelmness will abound, but the advice given are sound. Step-by-step, and focus on the positives, dismiss the negatives.

    By the time the WC 2005 rolls around, I'm fervently hoping for a BF meet there, and we'll all share a drinks, experiences and good times.

    You have our support.

    -dave

  5. #5
    Regular Member ants's Avatar
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    Be positive Freeheeler! Most of us have our ups and downs and sometimes the bad things does come at the bad time , worse than that it comes in streaks! But there is always hope. Things will come for the better! God promise to Prosper and Never Give up on US!.

  6. #6
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    I'm sorry to hear that Freeheeler. But be strong! It's like passing a narrow road... when u get past it everything will be a LOT better! Get some rest and you'll be back on court in no time!

  7. #7
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    hey freeheeler, hang in there, be tough and don't give up....
    we all have our ups and downs..... but bad things won't always be in your way. i mean without bitterness, u wouldn't notice how good sweetness taste. we all bfers are looking forward to hear your better future.

    vc

  8. #8
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    Default Thanks

    for all the comments guys. I must admit it's at times like these that you really appreciate friends. I have not been here that long so I only have a few friends at work or up in Tahoe but they have all been a great help.

    I finally had to buy a car to get me to my new job and when I had to go and speak to the lady in charge of finance at the Honda garage she started chatting to me about where I was from etc etc and then she asked me if was married!! I then proceeded to blurt out the whole story as at this stage I had told very few people and those that I had were mostly male. Well, talking to her was the best thing that ever happened to me, she listened for about 20 minutes and offered great encouragment to me. i was in tears when I was telling her everything and she was just so sweet and she tore up the 'extra warranties' that they were going to try and sell me and said "you do not need these" Now I had never met her before this meeting. I thanked her and walked out of there feeling good for the first time in ages. She was an angel.

    P.S. anyone any good at interior decorating with Ikea furniture cause i am not and it shows.

    Hopefully I will be back at the badminton before long, calf is healing well

    Thanks again

    Martin

  9. #9
    Administrator kwun's Avatar
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    Martin,

    well, refuge (is that the right word to use?) always comes in unexpected form.

    i hope you are starting to feel better both emotionally and physically. when you are healed, give me a msg, we will go play some baddy together in the gym.

    ps. no one is good with IKEA, they all look exactly the same wherever you go...

  10. #10
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    Default Keep your head up...

    FH/Martin,
    Man, that's tough but know that you have support amongst the folks here on BF. Look at it as a blessing in disguise (whatever happens happen for a reason). There are a lot of very decent folks in the world (like the lady at Honda) but also a lot of not-so-nice folks but there are enough decent folks around that makes it (life) worth living.

    Have a speedy recovery.

  11. #11
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    Sorry to hear about your troubles and wishing you the best in a full recovery.

    Perhaps you can watch lots of badminton instead (meaning lots of videos of tournaments)

    Take care.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by kwun
    Martin,

    well, refuge (is that the right word to use?) always comes in unexpected form.
    I agree with that, after speaking to someone I barely knew after my car crash the depression lifted, as the others have posted things do get better after a while we become more resilliant as a result.

    Stick in there bud!

  13. #13
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    Hi freeheeler!

    Dealing with the all the problems throughout life can be tough (believe me I know) and sometimes it feels like bad things just don't stop coming to you. Hope you hang in there! We're all here to support each other, after all.

  14. #14
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    Freeheeler,

    Sorry to catch this thread late, and sorry to hear u r facing numerous of difficulties all at once. Life is like a road full of bumps, but we still need to move on. The good part is, we learn and grow up through pain, and when we look back, tomorrow is always much better.

    Cheer up, and happy smash when u r recovered.

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