Results 375 to 391 of 1674
06-14-2006, 02:24 PM #375
Old Lady's Poodle..
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her a faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says.
"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!
Moral of this story...
Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! ******** and brilliance only come with age and experience.
If you don't send this to five "old" friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.
I am in no way insinuating that any of you are old, some are just more "youth challenged" than others!!!!
Notice the size of this print?
06-26-2006, 08:09 PM #376
A philosopher, a scientist and an idiot, were in a car accident. They found themselves standing before the pearly gates. Both St. Peter and the Devil were waiting.
"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Because Heaven is too overcrowded, St. Peter is limiting the number of people entering Heaven. If you can ask me a question which I cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."
The philosopher stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings." With a snap of his finger, a full volume appeared. The philosopher read it and agreed it was flawless.
"Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared.
The scientist was next, "Give me the complete Black Hole theory explained in the simplest way that even a child can understand !" With a snap of his finger, a computer monitor appeared. The scientist read what was on the screen and reluctantly agreed it was perfect.
"Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the scientist disappeared, too.
Now its the idiot. He said, "Bring me a chair!"
The Devil brought forward a chair.
"Drill 7 holes on the seat."
The Devil did just that.
The idiot then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart.
Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?"
The Devil inspected the seat and said, "The third hole from the right."
"Wrong," said the idiot, "it's from my a$$hole."
And you don't need a philosopher or a scientist to tell you where the idiot went.
06-30-2006, 04:20 PM #377
Things that make you wonder..
..things that make you go hmmmmm....
Last edited by ctjcad; 06-30-2006 at 04:22 PM.
07-01-2006, 09:13 PM #378
no faking it here LOL
07-03-2006, 04:24 AM #379Originally Posted by cooler
07-06-2006, 04:37 PM #380
Some work related signs...
.......bad day at work??..
07-06-2006, 08:03 PM #381
07-07-2006, 07:55 AM #382
dumb guy in hospital
he will never go out for life.
07-21-2006, 10:13 AM #383
its kindda funny to me....the last picture i found it is funny because when i look closely it seems like KUNG FU plus FOOTBALL....hope you all get it..
07-22-2006, 07:32 AM #384
07-24-2006, 12:42 PM #385
what u call a fan of XXF?
07-25-2006, 10:23 AM #386
Enjoy my friend. join firstname.lastname@example.org if you want great regular jokes and funnies.
07-25-2006, 11:05 AM #387
In Memory of Math Equations..
...for you math buffs out there(ie. jerby??)..
07-25-2006, 02:52 PM #388
omg, they are brilliant...especially the last one...
..you knew I'd read this thread
07-27-2006, 02:27 PM #389
that is hilarious! It took me a second to get though, I had to dumb it down...
07-27-2006, 02:28 PM #390
Pointless or nonsense picture??..
..what do you guys think??...hmm..
07-27-2006, 02:33 PM #391Originally Posted by ctjcad
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