User Tag List

Page 38 of 102 FirstFirst ... 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 88 ... LastLast
Results 630 to 646 of 1722

Thread: Jokes

  1. #630
    Regular Member wilfredlgf's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Malaysia
    Posts
    2,579
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Not sure about putting comic strips in here, so I'll change it to a dialogue - hopefully the humour and moral undertone stays unchanged:

    Calvin :
    If you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be?"

    Hobbes : *thinking* A sandwich.

    Calvin :
    *yelling* A sandwich? What kind of stupid wish is that? Talk about a failure of imagination! I'd ask for a trillion billion dollars, my own space shuttle, and a private continent!

    Moments later at home...

    Hobbes : *eating a sandwich*
    I got my wish.

    Calvin : ...

  2. #631
    Regular Member ctjcad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    u.s.a.
    Posts
    19,157
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Lego Church..

    (ok, maybe some of you have seen this before or this might not be a joke, but...)
    You think you're bored..?
    Take a look at what this guy did with all the time on his hands! WOW !!


    "THE LEGO CHURCH "

    This is amazing! Someone certainly is talented and patient
    to create such a masterpiece.


    A few quick facts:.

    How long to build it? It was about a year and a half of planning,
    building and photographing.


    How many pieces of LEGO to build it? more than 75,000

    How big is it? About 7 feet by 5 1/2 feet by 30 inches
    (2.2 m x 1.7 m x .76 m)


    How many LEGO people does it seat? 1,372

    How many windows? 3,976

    It features a balcony, a Narthex, stairs to the balcony,
    restrooms, coat rooms, several mosaics, a nave, a baptistery,
    an altar, a crucifix, a pulpit and an elaborate pipe organ.










    All I can say is .... "WOW!"
    Last edited by ctjcad; 09-17-2007 at 05:56 PM.

  3. #632
    Regular Member ctjcad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    u.s.a.
    Posts
    19,157
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default How to sleep at work??...

    ..(some of you might've seen these..if not, enjoy!)








  4. #633
    Regular Member ants's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Malaysian Citizen of the World
    Posts
    13,157
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    This is really funny... i cant believe they would really cut their hair that way. But i guess the pay is good.

  5. #634
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Basement Boiler Room
    Posts
    22,118
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Do Not Disturb

    ..................................
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  6. #635
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Planet of Lords
    Posts
    7,837
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default This is a "BEST JOKE" award winner in UK

    One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.
    Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get out of here."
    The astonished Chinese man replied "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor , it was the Japanese".
    "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

    In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says "You sank the Titanic; my forefathers were on that ship."
    Shocked, Spielberg replies "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."
    The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."


    This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition in Britain .

  7. #636
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Singapore
    Posts
    188
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    --baseball is ninety percent mental. the other half is physical.
    --i usually take a two hour nap from one to four.
    --when you come to a fork in the road... take it.
    --the future ain't what it used to be.
    --i'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. let them walk to school like I did.
    -yogi berra

  8. #637
    Regular Member robin7's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Puchong Prima
    Posts
    13,684
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Life sentence (18SX)

    The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about ***. Can you explain it to me first?"

    "OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.

    And then they made love for the first time.

    Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

    Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

    Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

    After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

    The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal.

    Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

    She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

    Limpsy turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, it's not a life sentence, OKAY!

  9. #638
    Regular Member huangkwokhau's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    everywhere
    Posts
    18,446
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    haha..I do not know how Chris get those jokes........

  10. #639
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    indonesia
    Posts
    5,676
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    are pics below funny ?




  11. #640
    Regular Member huangkwokhau's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    everywhere
    Posts
    18,446
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    thats scary........good for Halloween.....

  12. #641
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    KL
    Posts
    4,750
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Translating Australian English...


    For those travelling to Australia soon, it is worth taking notes.

  13. #642
    Regular Member ctjcad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    u.s.a.
    Posts
    19,157
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Ahem..

    Quote Originally Posted by X Ball View Post
    For those travelling to Australia soon, it is worth taking notes.
    ...so, are you planning to go to the land down under, X Ball??..

  14. #643
    Regular Member ctjcad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    u.s.a.
    Posts
    19,157
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default World's Tightest Pair of Jeans

    World's Tightest Pair of Jeans (ok, maybe there's an even tighter one)...and maybe the picture is slightly on the border of PG; or has been photoshopped and some of you guys have seen it before...



    (no...not her silly...)SCROLL TO THE RIGHT

  15. #644
    Regular Member ctjcad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    u.s.a.
    Posts
    19,157
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Clever Advertisements

    ..alright, some of you have probably seen these already..






















  16. #645
    Regular Member george@chongwei's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    MIA
    Posts
    29,960
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Story ONE
    >> Ah Beng bought a Honda VTI recently and drove to Ah Lian's place
    >>to show it to
    >>her.
    >>So there Ah Beng was, telling and bragging the various functions of
    >>his new car
    >>to his girlfriend.
    >>"This is ah, so fast even the Mata Chia cannot catch ah!"
    >>"Ha! Really ah!!! Steady lah!" said Ah Lian.
    >>"Some more hor, this is Automatic one, vely easy to drive!"
    >>So Ah Lian said, "Let me try! I wan, I wan!"
    >>So Ah Lian took the driver's seat and shifted the gear and floored
    >>the
    >>accelerator.
    >>The next moment, the car sped backwards and crashed into the
    >>lamp-post.
    >>"Alamak! What are u doing?!!! U Siao Char Bo! U see lah!!! Wah
    >>Piang eh!"
    >>screamed Ah Beng.
    >>"Solee, solee, pai sah lah! No lah, I tot hor, "R" for racing
    >>mah!"*
    >>
    >>Story TWO
    >>The Titanic was sinking, and there weren't enough lifeboats. So
    >>the captain had
    >>to persuade male passengers to jump into the icy waters to make
    >>room for women
    >>and children.
    >>To the British he said, "You must act like gentlemen." They jumped.
    >>To the Americans he said, "You can be heroes." They complied.
    >>To the Germans he said, "It's the rule." They obeyed.
    >>To the Japanese he said," It's the consensus." They obliged.
    >>Then came the Singaporean and they just weren't budging until he
    >>came up with
    >>the appeal:
    >>"Free life jackets for those who jumped."
    >>
    >> Story THREE
    >>3 recruits - Chinese, Malay & Indian are at the army's supply base
    >>to collect
    >>their underwear.
    >>Their sergeant was there to aid the supplies.
    >>Sergeant: Hei Ah Beng! How many underwear you need ah?
    >>Ah Beng: (thinks a while) 7 sasen(sergeant)!
    >>Sergeant: (puzzled) How come so many?
    >>Ah Beng: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat & Sun. One day one.
    >>Sergeant: (Malay recruit) Eh Mat! How many underwear?
    >>Mat: (without hesitation) 6 sargen!
    >>Sergeant: (curious) How come six?
    >>Mat: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Sat & Sun. Friday I wear sarong.
    >>Sergeant: (Indian recruit) Dei Tambi. How many underwear dah dei?
    >>Tambhi: (very confidently) 12 Sarjen !!!!
    >>Sergeant: (shocked & fell to the ground) Why do you need so many
    >>for?
    >>Tambhi: January, February, March.....One month one.
    >>
    >>Story FOUR
    >>Once upon a time, a group of Ah Bengs stepped into a lounge and
    >>wanted the DJ to
    >>play the song "Ah Cheng Buey Ro Ti" (In Hokkien meaning Ah Cheng
    >>buys bread).
    >>The DJ told them that they only have English songs and told them to
    >>re-select
    >>another song.
    >>The Ah Bengs were indignant and kicked up a big fuss, claiming that
    >>the DJ was
    >>insulting them.
    >>The manager had to intervene in order to calm them down. Finally,
    >>after many
    >>hours of talking, the manager managed to find out that the Ah Bengs
    >>were
    >>actually asking for the song "Unchained Melody"
    >>by the Righteous Brothers.
    >>
    >>Story FIVE
    >>One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey of a
    >>building and
    >>wanted to get down to the ground floor. As they looked at the
    >>dial, they could
    >>see the number 20 down to number 2.
    >>It was then followed by a G. As they were not English-educated,
    >>they were
    >>puzzled and really had no idea what does the letter G mean.
    >>Suddenly one of
    >>them exclaimed excitedly and hit G.
    >>When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was
    >>so impressed
    >>and asked the first Ah Lian, "Wow, how you know one?"
    >>The first Ah Lian reply smugly, "Easy lah.. G for Gero mah..."
    >>
    >>Story SIX
    >> Santa Singh (remember him?) just graduated from Law school and
    >>decided to apply
    >>for a job in the most prestigious "Lee & Lee Law Firm" company.
    >>During the
    >>interview, Mr. Lee KY looked at Santa Singh's resume, thinks for a
    >>while and
    >>said, "Well, I would need to discuss your application with my wife.
    >> " And went
    >>off to discuss Santa's application with his wife.
    >>Lee KY's wife said, "C'mon, don't you know that we only hire
    >>lawyers with
    >>surnames beginning with 'Lee' only? Of course, we can't hire Santa
    >>Singh!"
    >>So Lee KY told the bad news to Santa Singh about his rejection.
    >>Few days later, Santa Singh came back to the same company and
    >>request for
    >>another interview and Lee KY said, 'Look Santa, I have already told
    >>you that we
    >>only hire.......' when Santa Singh interrupted him and said, 'I
    >>know, I know. I
    >>have ju st changed my name.
    >>Lee K Y looked at Santa Singh in surprise and asked, "What is your
    >>new name
    >>then?"
    >>On this, Santa Singh replied 'Surname Lee, Last name, Manga!'
    >>(Manga-Li)

  17. #646
    Regular Member george@chongwei's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    MIA
    Posts
    29,960
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Ted is 7-yr old n he's very bad in essay writing.
    > one day the teacher asked the class to write a 500-word essay base on
    > any title they like. Ted thought real hard n finally he started his
    > essay:
    >
    > Titled: Composition - my lost cat
    >

    > One day i lost my kitty, i went out to the street n started calling:
    HELLO



















    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
    > kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty..." but she never
    > comes back, that's how i lost my cat.
    >
    > (510 words)

Page 38 of 102 FirstFirst ... 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 88 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Strange...Can't Find the Jokes anymore???
    By Young Yang in forum Chit-Chat
    Replies: 2
    : 05-03-2008, 12:04 PM
  2. Some jokes during our suppertime@ccc
    By chris-ccc in forum CCC Badminton Club
    Replies: 3
    : 06-20-2007, 12:31 PM
  3. tennis player jokes
    By The Badminator in forum Chit-Chat
    Replies: 7
    : 04-28-2007, 04:01 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •