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Thread: Jokes

  1. #783
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    race driver get away with everything funny how i like schumi more now that he has retired. used to think he is too arrogant.

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    Quote Originally Posted by azabaz_ipoh View Post
    race driver get away with everything funny how i like schumi more now that he has retired. used to think he is too arrogant.
    his last year in F1 shows the new michael.
    remember his visit to terengganu ? i must say.i thought he is one of us.
    theres no more michael schumacker.the 7 times F1 winner.

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    A man walks into a bar and asks for anything that isnt Stella.

    The bartender replies, 'whats the matter? dont you like stella?'

    'i had 10 pints of it last night and blew chunks' says the man

    '10 pints of any lager would make anyone be sick' said the bartender

    'you dont understand' replies the man



    'Chunks is my dog!!!!'

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lobeh View Post
    A man walks into a bar and asks for anything that isnt Stella.

    The bartender replies, 'whats the matter? dont you like stella?'

    'i had 10 pints of it last night and blew chunks' says the man

    '10 pints of any lager would make anyone be sick' said the bartender

    'you dont understand' replies the man



    'Chunks is my dog!!!!'
    This is now either my check-in or check out thread.
    Lobeh,if you originate those marital jokes, you can coach marital counsellors on an unorthodox way of helping their clients break their unhealthy communication pattern (if they can laugh at themselves)
    Are you going to ration out your supply or is it safe to assume the supply will be like the water cycle, never ending?
    Thanks for making my day.

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    One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.'
    So he tied her up and went golfing.

    Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

  6. #788
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    'Danger: Avoid Death' contest winner
    By RON VAMPLE, Associated Press Writer
    Wed Dec 12, 6:22 PM ET

    Words to live by, from a warning label on a small tractor: "Danger: Avoid Death." That warning was selected Wednesday as the winner of the 11th annual "Wacky Warning Label Contest," sponsored by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch. The contest is part of an effort to show the effects of lawsuits on warning labels.

    Kevin Soave of Farmington Hills, a Detroit suburb, won the $500 grand prize for submitting the tractor's "Danger: Avoid Death" label.

    The $250 second place was given to Carrianne, Jacob and Robby Turin of Greensburg, Pa., for a label they found on an iron-on T-shirt transfer that warns: "Do not iron while wearing shirt."

    Richard Goodnow of Lancaster, Mass., earned the $100 third-place prize for a label on a baby stroller featuring a small storage pouch that warns: "Do not put child in bag."

    Contest organizer Bob Dorigo Jones says the silly labels reflect how broken America's civil justice system is.

    "Predatory lawyers know they can file ridiculous lawsuits against innocent product makers and blackmail them into a cash settlement even in cases in which a user has ignored common sense," Dorigo Jones said in a statement Wednesday.

    Honorable mention went to Cyndi LaMonde of Traverse City for a label on a letter opener that says: "Caution: Safety goggles recommended."

    Ann Marie Young of Fillmore, N.Y., took the second honorable mention for a warning she found which cautions users: "The Vanishing Fabric Marker should not be used as a writing instrument for signing checks or any legal documents."

    The group selected a list of finalists and listeners of WOMC-FM's Dick Purtan show chose the winners.
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  7. #789
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    Default I love Canadians

    1) I did not know the postal code to North Pol is H0H 0H0 CANADA. A very good one.
    2) One Pissed off Canadian Elf...
    http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071214/...TTdXWzEWOs0NUE

    Merry Chrismas Everyone!!!

  8. #790
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    Default Baby Queen..

    ..for those who haven't seen it, enjoy! Cleverly funny!..

    The Baby Queen

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    Quote Originally Posted by silentheart View Post
    1) I did not know the postal code to North Pol is H0H 0H0 CANADA. A very good one.
    2) One Pissed off Canadian Elf...
    http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071214/...TTdXWzEWOs0NUE

    Merry Chrismas Everyone!!!
    i heard that it is impolite of santa claus in the US to say HO HO HO. They can say HA HA HA , HEY HEY HEY or HE HE HE, LOL
    Last edited by cooler; 12-17-2007 at 09:00 PM.

  10. #792
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    Default Quiz:What or who is this???..

    ..another one for U.S.' next "possible" President (and of course, for our cooler)...Who or What is this???...



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    It's a "Hill-Billy"
    Last edited by ctjcad; 12-19-2007 at 12:34 AM.

  11. #793
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    For the football inclined (or at least, Liverpool fans):


  12. #794
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    Quote Originally Posted by wilfredlgf View Post
    For the football inclined (or at least, Liverpool fans):

    OUCH!

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    I saw the most disturbing thing yesterday. I think it falls under the category of sort of funny, thus being a joke, but I think it was disturbing.

    I was in my car in the parking lot infront of pizzapizza. It was night. Tired, I told my mom that I'd wait in the car while she went in and got a pizza. I'd just been through many hours of community service, strange children (while I was baby-sitting), strange occurences (that occured while I was baby-sitting those strange children), and 'accidentally' getting hit with gunshu staffs by by these hyper active freaks at my dojo that thought it was funny to poke people while they were trying to meditate. Due to these grueling hours, I was really agrivated and annoyed. To calm down, I reasurred myself that pizza was coming, and that nothing else that I'd see today could be worse than what I'd already been through. But, of course, I was wrong.

    Bored of staring at the strange couple in the car next to me, I turned around and saw the most disturbing thing ever. An old lady had pulled up her skirt, stuck her hands in her panty hose, and was wrestling with a wejdie as if she were strangling a tiger . As she fought to straighten her underwear, her face kept making weird facial expressions. Never in my life had I seen someone deliberately stick their hands in their tights and fix a wejdie. An old lady's gotta do what an old lady's gotta do, but she doesn't have to do it like that... especially not in public. I felt as if I'd seen... I'd seen... a famous celebrity licking peanut butter off of a hobbo's foot.

    It was disgusting, and wrong, really, really, wrong. I no longer wanted a pizza.
    Last edited by Ayame; 12-19-2007 at 04:51 PM.

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    AHAAAAHHHHHHAAHha Lol


    EWWWWWWW !!

    Disgusting !!

    Funny too

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    "A street beggar walked up to a woman who was just about to go into a coffee shop and exclaimed, "Lady, I haven't eaten in a week." "Wow!" exclaimed the woman, "I wish I had your will power." "

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  17. #799
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    Default A Light At The End Of The Tunnel


    No matter what situation's life throws at you...no matter how long and treacherous your journey may seem...





    Remember, there is a light at the end of the tunnel...


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