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Thread: Jokes

  1. #1038
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    Quote Originally Posted by COOLEST View Post
    I shouldn't be laughing at this, but I can't help it... I attended a badminton training session recently, and one of the coaches names was Mr.Dick. He told us to just call him Dick. Gosh, I'm so immature; I was close to exploding when I heard him say his name the way he did... with so much... enthusiasm... I try really hard to be serious when I meet people with these sort of names. Whose idea was it to name guys Dick anyways?
    He must have been miserable during his high school life.

    speaking of coaches, one time, there was this physical education teacher scolding my friend and 2 of his classmates.

    Pointing his finger at the 3 of them one by one, the teacher shouted, "You, you, you ... the both of you. I want to see your mother, your father, and your parents! I want to see them tomorrow ... right now!"

    Toink!!!!

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    You guys please start using LACKETS ... Malaysian's Pride.
    Kindly read the below and you will understand why!! XD ... lol!!

    Jokes 'R' Us

    One of the main reasons why in recent years the Malaysian Government has always ensured that their Miss Universe representative were of tertiary level education or higher was because of the following incident which occurred not too many years ago.
    It is the final round of the Miss Universe Pageant and the 3 finalists, Miss USA, Miss Malaysia and Miss Singapore are being asked 3 simple questions:

    MC: The first question is name me an electrical appliance starting with "L"
    Miss USA : Lamp
    Miss Singapore : Light bulb
    Miss Malaysia : LADIO
    Judge: No, no, Radio does not start with the letter "L"

    MC: I am going to give you 3 more chances; Now, name me an animal starting with the letter "L"
    Miss USA : Lion
    Miss Singapore : Leopard
    Miss Malaysia : LABBIT
    Judge: No, no, no!

    MC: Your next chance. The name of a famous car that starts with "L"
    Miss USA: Lexus
    Miss Singapore : Lamborghini
    Miss Malaysia : Lolls-Loyce
    Judge: Oh my God!

    MC: I am going to give you one last chance! Name me a fruit starting with the letter "L"
    Miss USA : Lemon
    Miss Singapore : Lychee
    Miss Malaysia , with full of confidence, smiles and says: LIEWLIAN!!
    This is not the end of the story, the Judge consulted the board of judges to determine if Miss Malaysia should really be disqualified ; and they decided that since Miss Malaysia was having so many problems with the letter "L", they decided to give her another chance.

    Judge: OK, the final question is : Name me a human anatomy starting with the letter "L"
    Miss USA : Lung (applause)
    Miss Singapore : Liver (even more applause)
    Miss Malaysia : LAN CIAU
    The Judges fainted..!!!

  3. #1040
    Regular Member ctjcad's Avatar
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    Default ^^Doesn't that inability..^^

    ..to pronounce the 'r' letter apply to Japanese people instead of M'sians??..

    Anyway, as promised, i'm now back after my 10-days sabbatical (and yes, i did vote).
    And with the end of arguably the most watched U.S. Presidential election campaigns in history, in sight & the announcement of the new U.S. President just a few hours away, i just want to break this light humor to you guys....


    "The only reason why Obama is in the lead is because all the white people are still at work and haven't voted, yet"

    On that note, i want to thank & salute President Bush for those wonderful and memorable 8 yrs as the leader of this country & the free world. Yes, many will point the fingers at you for the decision for the Iraq war which, some say, eventually leads to this current financial/economic crisis. But you stood the ground and did not embarrass the White House like our previous U.S. President did, before you. I'd also like to commend you providing & for being such a good humor to all of us. Never before in the history of the U.S. Presidency has there ever been so many jokes related to you.
    I just hope and pray that whoever succeeds you will be as funny if not funnier than you (if he doesn't, our cooler will probably have to dig up something)
    .
    Last edited by ctjcad; 11-04-2008 at 06:44 PM.

  4. #1041
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    ..to pronounce the 'r' letter apply to Japanese people instead of M'sians??..
    The Japanese r/l sound is not an R, neither is it an L.. it's like in between. I had problems saying 'lettuce' when I first went to a school in New Zealand.

  5. #1042
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    Is it just me....or has the title been changed from "joke" to "jokes"??

  6. #1043
    Regular Member ctjcad's Avatar
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    Default Okay...

    ..(i'm sure a lot of citizens in other countries around the world are either jumping for joy or scratching their heads or simply speechless at the result but if the Man Above ordains him, then so be it).
    Now that the U.S. has a new President ready to be inaugurated next January, here's the first joke of the incoming U.S. President...(some of you have probably seen it; if not, enjoy!)



    On a serious note, everything looks rosy and peachy with Obama now, but this is just the beginning of a very arduous road, esp. once he steps into the White House and starts dealing with different array of issues. How he will govern will be truly tested in his first few months of office. I'm no supporter on his values, but I sincerely hope and pray whatever "CHANGE"s speeches Mr. Obama promised during his campaign/debates will come to reality & there will be positive changes, the U.S.' economy will rebound and the U.S. people will somehow support his Presidency. However, on the other side, if anything major should go haywire in the U.S. during his presidency (God forbid any), i'm afraid a lot of people who chose him "blindly" will get a rude awakening & will focus on him (and the Democrats) like never before. In other words, he & the Democrats are on a short leash. We shall see & i hope he'll provide us with some laughs and humor along the way.
    *Btw, thank goodness California people still has the senses unlike those from Massachusetts as the highy debated Prop. 8 looks like will pass, but in a very close result.
    Last edited by ctjcad; 11-05-2008 at 03:18 AM.

  7. #1044
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athelete1234 View Post
    Is it just me....or has the title been changed from "joke" to "jokes"??
    Considering that we have, at last count, more than 1,400 posts here, the plural form seems more appropriate

  8. #1045
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    Quote Originally Posted by ctjcad View Post
    ..(i'm sure a lot of citizens in other countries around the world are either jumping for joy or scratching their heads or simply speechless at the result but if the Man Above ordains him, then so be it).
    Now that the U.S. has a new President ready to be inaugurated next January, here's the first joke of the incoming U.S. President...(some of you have probably seen it; if not, enjoy!)



    On a serious note, everything looks rosy and peachy with Obama now, but this is just the beginning of a very arduous road, esp. once he steps into the White House and starts dealing with different array of issues. How he will govern will be truly tested in his first few months of office. I'm no supporter on his values, but I sincerely hope and pray whatever "CHANGE"s speeches Mr. Obama promised during his campaign/debates will come to reality & there will be positive changes, the U.S.' economy will rebound and the U.S. people will somehow support his Presidency. However, on the other side, if anything major should go haywire in the U.S. during his presidency (God forbid any), i'm afraid a lot of people who chose him "blindly" will get a rude awakening & will focus on him (and the Democrats) like never before. In other words, he & the Democrats are on a short leash. We shall see & i hope he'll provide us with some laughs and humor along the way.
    *Btw, thank goodness California people still has the senses unlike those from Massachusetts as the highy debated Prop. 8 looks like will pass, but in a very close result.
    This look like one of the dirty tricks sent out by McClain's camp rather than a joke.
    Last edited by Qidong; 11-05-2008 at 11:34 AM.

  9. #1046
    Regular Member ctjcad's Avatar
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    Default Remember this??...

    ...looks like the rest of the flakes have been eaten & there's one remaining flake left (and his friend).....
    (remember this pic??)



    http://www.badmintoncentral.com/foru...665#post761665
    Last edited by ctjcad; 11-05-2008 at 06:45 PM.

  10. #1047
    Regular Member ctjcad's Avatar
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    Default Obama and sports (NBA)...

    ..for all the NBA fans
    ================================================== =====
    In keeping with his upcoming economic policies, President-elect OBAMA is going to mandate that the Lakers to "share their wealth".

    He is going to make the following changes:

    Bryant will be given to the LA Clippers
    Bynum will be given to the Kings
    Odom will be given to Minnesota

    Then these will follow:

    Chris Paul will be given to the Oklahoma City Thunder
    Lebron James will be given to the Memphis Grizzlies
    Amare Stoudemire will be given to the Washington Wizards

    OBAMA said, "My attitude is that if the NBA is good for teams from the bottom up, it's gonna be good for all teams....and I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody."

  11. #1048
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    Quote Originally Posted by ctjcad View Post
    ..for all the NBA fans
    ================================================== =====
    In keeping with his upcoming economic policies, President-elect OBAMA is going to mandate that the Lakers to "share their wealth".

    He is going to make the following changes:

    Bryant will be given to the LA Clippers
    Bynum will be given to the Kings
    Odom will be given to Minnesota

    Then these will follow:

    Chris Paul will be given to the Oklahoma City Thunder
    Lebron James will be given to the Memphis Grizzlies
    Amare Stoudemire will be given to the Washington Wizards

    OBAMA said, "My attitude is that if the NBA is good for teams from the bottom up, it's gonna be good for all teams....and I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody."
    gov'ts dont benefit from this initiative. Obama should impose a 'windfall tax' to people who received an extraordinary windfall income to share the wealth. If an athlete signed a huge contract, tax him extra. If executives got a huge bonus or severance, tax them extra.

  12. #1049
    Regular Member ctjcad's Avatar
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    Default ^^Yes...^^

    ...that's the idea, basically goes back to a form/idea of msilaicos/tsixram..

    Anyway, it should be a fun 4 years ahead...
    Last edited by ctjcad; 11-06-2008 at 05:16 PM.

  13. #1050
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    Quote Originally Posted by ctjcad View Post
    ..to pronounce the 'r' letter apply to Japanese people instead of M'sians??..
    There is no word in the Japanese language that starts with the letter "L" (or something similiar to the "L" sound). This is mainly why it's difficult for most Japanese to pronounce it .

    If you've ever watched the anime "Death Note" in the original Japanese version, you'll notice that L's name is pronounced as "Eru".

  14. #1051
    Regular Member ctjcad's Avatar
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    Default Ah well, might as well..

    ..since the U.S./the rest of the world is winding down in this yr's U.S. prez election, here a (parody) video to share..Some of you have probably seen it, if not, enjoy!

    http://www.theonion.com/content/vide...uses_obsessive

    *(jhirata & COOLEST, yes, i realized that. I was referring to their(Japanese) inability to pronounce the 'R" letter, instead use something closer to an "L" sound)

  15. #1052
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    Question From Canada

    So, which one is the deer?
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  16. #1053
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oldhand View Post
    So, which one is the deer?
    Hehehe, nice find. I'll be there this weekend and will endeavor to find out

  17. #1054
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    Quote Originally Posted by madbad View Post
    Hehehe, nice find. I'll be there this weekend and will endeavor to find out
    I'd also be interested in finding out if there are camels, elephants and rhinos freely roaming North Vancouver

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