User Tag List

Page 72 of 102 FirstFirst ... 22 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 ... LastLast
Results 1,208 to 1,224 of 1723

Thread: Jokes

  1. #1208
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    San Jose, California
    Posts
    1,645
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I tried translating this joke myself. Sorry for my poor translation.

    餐廳老板要製作廣告牌,於是找到廣告公司。
    "請問牌子上要寫些什麼呢?"
    "就寫餐廳吧,中英文都要。"
    "好的,明天來取吧。"

    製圖員在嘀咕:這餐廳的英文怎拼呢? (於是連上網路準備查詢)
    輸入餐廳,一按enter,
    "這單字真的長,都說了外國佬比中國人蠢啦,我們兩個字,他們居然用這麼多字母。"

    第二天,餐廳老闆來取,回家立刻掛上……



    A restaurant wants to put a sign outside of his restaurant. He went to a sign store. He told the worker that he wanted "restaurant" in both Chinese and English on the sign. The worker doesn't know much English, and he found a Chinese-to-English translation website on internet, entered "Restaurant" in Chinese and clicked enter. He said, "English people are dumb. We only use 2 words for restaurant, and they use some many alphabets".

    The restaurant owner came back the next day, and put the sign outside his restaurant.
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  2. #1209
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Basement Boiler Room
    Posts
    22,118
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Qidong View Post
    I tried translating this joke myself. Sorry for my poor translation.

    餐廳老板要製作廣告牌,於是找到廣告公司。
    "請問牌子上要寫些什麼呢?"
    "就寫餐廳吧,中英文都要。"
    "好的,明天來取吧。"

    製圖員在嘀咕:這餐廳的英文怎拼呢? (於是連上網路準備查詢)
    輸入餐廳,一按enter,
    "這單字真的長,都說了外國佬比中國人蠢啦,我們兩個字,他們居然用這麼多字母。"

    第二天,餐廳老闆來取,回家立刻掛上



    A restaurant wants to put a sign outside of his restaurant. He went to a sign store. He told the worker that he wanted "restaurant" in both Chinese and English on the sign. The worker doesn't know much English, and he found a Chinese-to-English translation website on internet, entered "Restaurant" in Chinese and clicked enter. He said, "English people are dumb. We only use 2 words for restaurant, and they use some many alphabets".

    The restaurant owner came back the next day, and put the sign outside his restaurant.
    lol, is this for real

  3. #1210
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    San Francisco, CA
    Posts
    51
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Gennaro is in this country for only 6 months. He walks to work 20 blocks every day and passes a shoe store. Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Boccelli leather shoes. He wants those shoes so much...it's all he can think about.
    After about 2 months he saves the price of the shoes, $300, and purchases them. Every Friday night the Italian community holds a dance in the church basement. Gennaro seizes this opportunity to wear his new Boccelli leather shoes for the first time.
    He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he asks her, Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?'Startled, Sophia replies, Yes, Gennaro, I do wear red panties tonight, but how do you know?'Gennaro answers, I see the reflection in my new $300 Boccelli leather shoes. How do you like them?'
    Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he asks,' Rosa, do you wear white panties tonight?'Rosa answers, Yes, Gennaro, I do, but how do you know that?'He replies, I see the reflection in my new $300 Boccelli leather shoes. How do you like them?'
    Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is being played, Gennaro asks Carmela to dance. Midway through the dance his face turns red. He states, 'Carmela, be still my heart, please, please tell me you wear no panties tonight, please, please, tell me this true!'Carmela smiles coyly and answers,'Yes Gennaro, I wear no panties tonight.'Gennaro gasps, Thank God ...I thought I had a CRACK in my $300 Boccelli leather shoes!'

  4. #1211
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Singapore
    Posts
    53
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Exclamation











    HAHA! Enjoy!
    Last edited by Gamerx; 04-01-2009 at 09:06 PM.

  5. #1212
    Regular Member ctjcad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    u.s.a.
    Posts
    19,157
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default NASCAR to ban Ford & GM cars..

    ..(some of you have probably read this; if not, enjoy one more April Fool's Day joke)...Since April the 1st is almost over, here's one to share; thank goodness our BCers are less hot-headed about Oldhand AFD's jokes than those NASCAR fans:

    http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/92422
    ================================================== =======
    April Fooled: NASCAR Hoax Causes Web Frenzy
    by Claudine Zap
    April 1, 2009 03:05:41 PM

    Sure, April Fools' Day comes but once a year, and some silly stories have been making the rounds. (Stairmasters in the NYC subway? Brad and Angelina married? Really? No.) But one thing is now clear: Keep the jokes away from NASCAR.

    All Car and Driver magazine tried to do was drive a little levity into the auto industry bailout with a prank. The serious publication ran a joke story that announced that Obama had ordered Chevrolet and Dodge out of NASCAR if they wanted to keep their federal funds. For a brief web-fueled moment, NASCAR fans had to imagine a future of cheering on Japanese cars. Or worse, French ones. The horror.

    Immediately, the Internet went crazy, with searches on "obama nascar" accelerating in Search and zooming across Twitter. Although the story was clearly marked a hoax, Car and Driver eventually pulled the fake story and apologized for going "too far."

    Not to worry, NASCAR fans: Nobody's pulling out of NASCAR. Yet. As Automobile magazine's blog noted nervously, "Let's just hope that the auto task force doesn't read this and get any ideas."
    Last edited by ctjcad; 04-02-2009 at 02:00 AM.

  6. #1213
    Moderator Oldhand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Asia
    Posts
    7,332
    Mentioned
    11 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Um, one of this year's potential stories was about the BWF replacing shuttles with table-tennis balls. I'm sure glad that I didn't use that one

  7. #1214
    Regular Member george@chongwei's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    MIA
    Posts
    29,966
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    not sure u guys had seen this before or not, if not, just enjoy!

    TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
    MARIA: Here it is.
    TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
    CLASS: Maria.
    ____________________________________
    TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
    JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
    __________________________________________
    TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
    GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
    TEACHER: No, that's wrong
    GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
    (I Love this kid)
    _____________________________________ ` _______
    TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
    DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
    TEACHER: What are you talking about?
    DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
    __________________________________
    TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
    WINNIE: Me!
    __________________________________________
    TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
    GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
    _______________________________________
    TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
    MILLIE: I is..
    TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
    MILLIE: All right.... 'I am the ninth lett er of the alphabet.'
    ________________________________
    TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
    LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
    ______________________________________
    TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
    SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
    ______________________________
    TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
    CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
    ___________________________________
    TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
    HAROLD: A teacher

  8. #1215
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, Malaysia
    Posts
    776
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Warning: This is a true story

    That day i went back to my hometown in Sandakan, Sabah, Malaysia (after not going for more than a decade...). When i reached my grandmother house, how suprise i am to see her old black and white t.v (even comes with a sliding cover!!!) still operational. So politely i told her this:

    shooting stroke: "Grandma, why not tomorrow we go to the t.v shop and change this old t.v with a LCD or Plasma t.v"
    Grandma: "LLcvd....what on earth is that thing?"

    Due to the complexity of current t.v technology in which will eventually coz some brain wave disturbance to my already old grandma....i just change the lcd/plasma terminology to colour t.v

    shooting stroke:"It is a colour t.v grandma. Your current t.v is black and white...so tomorrow i will buy you a new colour tv and i will let you choose which colour t.v that you want"

    .....and the following day, when i arrived inside the nearest t.v shop, i gently hold my grandmother's hand and make a quick tour inside the t.v shop before asking her choice.

    shooting stroke: o.k grandma, today we will change that old t.v of yours with a new colour t.v. So which one do you want?

    Without hesitation...... within split second my grandma answered........as fast as FU Haifang 332kmh smash...

    Grandma: GIVE ME A GREEN COLOUR T.V!!!!!!!!!!
    shooting stroke:@#$%&@!*~*&%$#@..............damned...i should just stick with gardening.....

  9. #1216
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Basement Boiler Room
    Posts
    22,118
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

  10. #1217
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Shah Alam
    Posts
    2,851
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Test For Idiocy

    Jokes thread is where you can relax yourself. Give a try.
    I screwed out 3 of the 5 questions. . so, don't feel bad.

    Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately .. OK?Let's find out just how clever you really are.... Ready? GO!!!

    First Question: Y ou are participating in a race.
    You overtake the second person.
    What position are you in?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~

    Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you areabsolutel! y wrong!
    If you overtake the second person, you take his place, so you are second!

    Try not to screw up next time.
    Now answer the second question,but don't take as much time as you took for the first one, OK ?

    Second Question:
    If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~

    Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again.
    Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person? You're not very good at this, are you?

    Third Question:
    Very tricky arithmetic!
    Note: This must be done in your head only .
    Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator.
    Try it. Take 1000 and add 40 to it.
    Now add another 1000 .
    Now add 30 .
    Add another 1000 .
    Now add 20. Now add another 1000 Now add 10 .
    What is the total?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~

    Did you get 5000?
    The correct answer is actually 4100.
    If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
    Today is definitely not your day, is it?
    Maybe you'll get the last question right....Maybe.

    Fourth Question:
    Mary's father has five daughters:
    1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono.
    What is the name of the fifth daughter?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~

    Did you Answer Nunu?
    NO! Of course it isn't. Her name is Mary.
    Read the question again!

    Okay, now the bonus round:
    I may have sent this one before. I'm never sure.
    A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush.
    By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
    Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses;
    how does HE indicate what he wants?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~

    He just has to open his mouth and ask...
    It's really very simple....
    Like you!

  11. #1218
    Moderator drifit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Selangor, Malaysia
    Posts
    6,428
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    i scored 5 out of 5. am i dumb?

  12. #1219
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2,990
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by drifit View Post
    i scored 5 out of 5. am i dumb?
    No. Like all moderators, you can only be always right.

  13. #1220
    Moderator drifit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Selangor, Malaysia
    Posts
    6,428
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Fidget View Post
    No. Like all moderators, you can only be always right.
    that will be no fun. make it wrong and can laugh at myself at least...

  14. #1221
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Shah Alam
    Posts
    2,851
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Curiosity Kills The Cat!!

    Name:  CAT 1.jpg
Views: 324
Size:  17.6 KB
    Name:  cat 2.jpg
Views: 308
Size:  18.2 KB
    Name:  cat 3.jpg
Views: 308
Size:  20.1 KB
    Name:  cat 4.jpg
Views: 311
Size:  15.5 KB

    ~ died because of smelly shoes..huhuhu ~ .
    Where are the other funny pics guys? I'm boring.

  15. #1222
    Regular Member george@chongwei's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    MIA
    Posts
    29,966
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    is that your cat, koo fan?

  16. #1223
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Shah Alam
    Posts
    2,851
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    What do u think, George?

  17. #1224
    Regular Member ctjcad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    u.s.a.
    Posts
    19,157
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default ^^A better question is..^^

    Quote Originally Posted by george@chongwei View Post
    is that your cat, koo fan?
    ..is that koo_fan's shoe??..

Page 72 of 102 FirstFirst ... 22 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Strange...Can't Find the Jokes anymore???
    By Young Yang in forum Chit-Chat
    Replies: 2
    : 05-03-2008, 01:04 PM
  2. Some jokes during our suppertime@ccc
    By chris-ccc in forum CCC Badminton Club
    Replies: 3
    : 06-20-2007, 01:31 PM
  3. tennis player jokes
    By The Badminator in forum Chit-Chat
    Replies: 7
    : 04-28-2007, 05:01 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •