Results 1,225 to 1,241 of 1713
04-14-2009, 03:25 PM #1225
Q. why does a golfer wear two sets of underwear?
A. in case he gets a hole in one!
04-14-2009, 03:38 PM #1226
04-14-2009, 03:39 PM #1227
04-14-2009, 03:53 PM #1228
04-14-2009, 04:10 PM #1229
04-18-2009, 07:10 AM #1230
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.
And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'
And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'
And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'
Last edited by drifit; 04-18-2009 at 12:13 PM. Reason: big font.........
04-28-2009, 12:11 AM #1231
Being Hongkies is good because...
1. We are Hongkies and not Chinese.
2. We can talk and shout and nobody gives a damn.
3. Jackie Chan is our icon.
4. We can live in a 5' x 5' cubicle and call it luxury apartment. We even need to pay $10,000 a month for this cubicle.
5. Our children can speak Cantonese at a young age.
6. We get to blame everything on Feng Shui or Tung Chee Hwa or the mainland communists.
7. Gambling is more interesting than ***. Macau is the place to for thrills!
8. We produce a lot of Miss Hong Kong to the enjoyment of the rich and famous.
We love being Singaporean because...
1. We are not Malaysians.
2. Everyone (especially the Malaysian) hates us, except ourselves.
3. Famous for Orchard Road and we love Geylang. Geylang is the place to go for thrills!
4. We have our own island.
5. We will never ever have yucky chewing gum stuck under our shoes.
6. We know how to enjoy our vacation in Malaysia - keep a few RM50 notes before you enter the highway: You can throw anything, anytime, anywhere and always wash our cars at the resort.
7. We can speed up to 180 kilometers per hour and not ending up with a summon as long as we have RM50 with us to spare.
8. The men are always concerned, first question to ask a girl 'Do you have CPF?'
9. Never fear of getting lost in our country - S$20 taxi ride will get you into the sea. Hahaha!
10. We'll never have to worry about finding Mr or Ms right because the government will find one for us.
11. 1 Singapore dollar = 2.5 Ringgit... nyek nyek nyek.
12. It's OK to be Kiasu.. It's part of our culture.
Top reasons for being Indonesian are as follow...
1. We are not Australian.
2. We live in the biggest country in South East Asia .
3. No pirates in Indonesia water if you exclude the Navy and Coast guards.
4. Everything is cheap, even our salaries...
5. We can blame everything to Suharto or BJ Habibie or Gus Dur or Megawati or who's next?
6. Only in Indonesia you can get involved in real demonstrations daily for different causes and see no results.
7. Our Rupiah is like a Yo Yo, it can go up and down just because IMF say so...
8. We burn everything and nobody gives a damn. We cause haze all over the South East Asia and nobody can do a thing... nyek nyek nyek.
9. We don't need fire fighters as our neighbours will provide...
Being a Malaysian is the best because...
1. World tallest twin towers, Best F1 circuit, largest roti canai, most expensive toll rates, ..because Malaysia Boleh!
2. We can be driving, picking our nose, cursing another driver, talking on the handphone, adjusting the radio and bribing the traffic
police at the same time.
3. We divorce by sending SMS.
4. Traffic summon can be settled on the spot with the traffic police.
5. We have Teh Tarik & Roti Canai on the Russian space ship.
6. We can save a lot of electricity b'coz our TV shows are so crappy.
7. We can blame everything on the haze or George Soros or government or opposition parties or...
8. Resourceful City Council, one person to drive the van, one to carry the ladder, one to change a street's bulb and three others watching...
9. We make 2 lane trunk roads into 3 lane highway and back to 2 lane when polices are sighted
10. There's always something for the JKR to do. They dig, resurface the road, dig and resurface...
11. All main roads are designated highway because it gives Velooo a reason to collect toll.
12. Our government can never be wrong.
13. Our badminton players win already only need to pay them RM35,000 very cheap compare to David Beckham.
14. You can divorce for as little as RM 10 million ringgit and marry a young singer you like, how nice is life.
15. We can even used C4 bomb to bombard Gengkis Khan or Kublai Khan grandchildren
16. We have more water than Singapore ... nyek nyek nyek.
17. If you got no monies you can also snatch others people monies
18. If you are a policeman rider you can kick and bang people car like nobody business
19. If you drive a police car, you can speed cause speed limit only apply to citizen
20. all motor rider can join Mat Rempit club for free and can throw stones at the police station anytime they like.
21. if you got nothing to do join the rela and go to the kongsi gelap and extort monies from them.
22. You can rape people and blame them for wearing very little, what a joke man..
Last edited by samuel882; 04-28-2009 at 12:14 AM.
04-28-2009, 01:53 AM #1232
^^Just want to add..^^
Anyway, here's one to add (well, sort of)..
Best reasons to be a BadmintoCentraller are because...
1. We are not tennis fans..
2. Every other sport fans laugh & make fun at our sport yet they are missing a lot..
3. We are die-hard baddy fanatics..and nothing can stop us..
4. We can cheer for our favorite players & jeer our despised opponents to our heart's content even blindly..
5. We don't even have to pay a dime or peso or sen or RMB to surf the forum...nyek nyek nyek
6. No matter how suck we are at badminton, everyone here loves each other the same..well, almost everyone..
7. We have free access to the latest & greatest, as well as, classic badminton videos available..
8. Moderators can be whoever they want themselves to be..
9. The jokes in the "Jokes" thread never get old..
10. There are endless infos on rackets, shuttles, shoes, shirts, bags, strings, stringing machines, socks, grips..
11. We have the coolest Panda in the whooooole world and he plays badminton, too..
12. As long as we behave, we are free to post anything our hearts desire....well, *almost* anything..
13. We have the bravest & boldest baddy stringers around imaginable..
14. If our favorite players lost, all we have to do is play the blame & excuse game and create a "Why Taufik lost?" thread..
15. Most of us don't have any other life outside of BadmintonCentral.com..
16. Even if we're not at the stadium watching a live match, the members' posts in the tournament's threads make it like we're actually there..
17. We get to meet new members even strangers from all over the world..
18. We get the latest, greatest and most up-to-the-minute infos on anything badminton related..
19. We can watch free baddy matches through live webstreaming..
20. Unlike other hang out places, BC is open 24 hrs/7 days a week..
21. If we have computer problems, BC is the place to ask for assistance..
22. We get to see the hottest & sexiest looking badminton babes in the whole world..
23. New members can out-post the owner of this forum..no restrictions..
24. Who needs real gambling when we have the PAW game?..
25. We have members who have real access to baddy players & can pass us infos even before a news reporter reports it..
and last but not least..
24. kwun is DA MAN and the best forum owner in the whole world..
Last edited by ctjcad; 04-28-2009 at 02:02 AM.
04-28-2009, 10:15 PM #1233
05-06-2009, 03:24 AM #1234
I'm pretty sure this is how you get the swine flu..
..(some of you have seen this; if not, don't get caught)..in light of the current H1N1 influenza epidemic that's sweeping the whole world by storm...
05-10-2009, 01:53 AM #1235
oh boy swine flu in the making.
05-10-2009, 01:57 AM #1236
05-10-2009, 05:11 AM #1237
oh man........ this is crazy....
05-10-2009, 07:28 AM #1238
05-19-2009, 05:36 PM #1239
A Priest's Last Request..
..(some of you have probably read this; if not, enjoy)...and to dedicate to our cooler & master silentheart..
The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital.
He motioned for his nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I die," whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to them and waited for a response.
Soon the word arrived. Harry and Nancy would be delighted to visit the priest. As they went to the hospital, Harry commented to Nancy, "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images." Nancy couldn't help but agree.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Nancy's hand in his right hand and Harry's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face. Finally Nancy spoke.
"Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
The old priest continued, "He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same."
05-19-2009, 07:09 PM #1240
when LD plays PSH and beats him (often than not),
would we call that easy as 'walk in the Park' or 'walk on the Park' match
Last edited by cooler; 05-19-2009 at 07:23 PM.
05-19-2009, 07:23 PM #1241
By Young Yang in forum Chit-ChatReplies: 2: 05-03-2008, 12:04 PM
By chris-ccc in forum CCC Badminton ClubReplies: 3: 06-20-2007, 12:31 PM
By The Badminator in forum Chit-ChatReplies: 7: 04-28-2007, 04:01 PM