Jokes

[drop2it]

The media has been making a rather large issue about the H1N1 virus that has been called the next pandemic. It seems to be causing quite a scare in many regions of the globe, and many people growing worried. After watching a news bulletin today, I asked my dad when he was going to start worrying about swine flu. His answer? - and this is sooooo bad...


"When pigs fly"

My apologies for unearthing what is quite possibly the worst pun ever devised.

[extremenanopowe]

This is a nice one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tHMvdBP2RQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfukD...eature=related

[koo_fan]

We know they like Motorcycles sooooo much ..




who cares i have no helmet?





yeah, delivery ..

Now, is that public transport?

[Qidong]

This is a nice one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tHMvdBP2RQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfukD...eature=related

These radio hosts are just too low class to laugh at other people's accent.

[Fidget]

Re: only in vietnam

Very ingenious ways of packing a motorcycle. But what happens to any one of those passengers if they hit a pothole? Ouch!

[extremenanopowe]

Its certainly a world record. Everyone gets the effect.

[ctjcad]

..(some of you have probably read this; if not, enjoy)..don't mess with Chinese..

The Lawyer and the Chinese

An American lawyer and a Chinese are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that all Chinese are so dumb that he could get over
on them, easy. So the lawyer asks if the Chinese would like to play a fun
game.

The Chinese is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines,
and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, and says that the game
is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you
pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay
you $500, he says. This catches the Chinese's attention and to keep the
lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from The Earth to
the Moon?" The Chinese doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket, pulls out
a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer?

Now, it's the Chinese's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with
three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer uses his laptop and
searches all references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all
the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching he
finally gives up.

He wakes up the Chinese and hands him $500. The Chinese pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep. The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer.

He wakes the Chinese up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three
legs and comes down with four? The Chinese reaches in his pocket, hands the
lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep......Don't mess with Chinese.

[cooler]

..(some of you have probably read this; if not, enjoy)..don't mess with Chinese..

The Lawyer and the Chinese

An American lawyer and a Chinese are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that all Chinese are so dumb that he could get over
on them, easy. So the lawyer asks if the Chinese would like to play a fun
game.

The Chinese is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines,
and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, and says that the game
is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you
pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay
you $500, he says. This catches the Chinese's attention and to keep the
lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from The Earth to
the Moon?" The Chinese doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket, pulls out
a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer?

Now, it's the Chinese's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with
three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer uses his laptop and
searches all references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all
the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching he
finally gives up.

He wakes up the Chinese and hands him $500. The Chinese pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep. The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer.

He wakes the Chinese up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three
legs and comes down with four? The Chinese reaches in his pocket, hands the
lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep......Don't mess with Chinese.

hahahaha, if i'm the american lawyer I would given the chinese a $500 USD promissory note bearing 1% interest payable annually. In times, the USD note worth nothing

[ctjcad]

..it's been nearly a month..ah, what da heck..
..this one i'd like to esp. dedicate to master silentheart and cooler...

PSALM 2008-2012: FIRST BOOK OF DEMOCRAT

OBAMA IS MY SHEPHERD,
I SHALL NOT WANT.
HE LEADETH ME BESIDE STILL FACTORIES.
HE RESTORETH MY FAITH IN THE REPUBLICAN PARTY.
HE GUIDETH ME IN THE PATH OF UNEMPLOYMENT.
YEA, THOUGH I WALK THROUGHT THE VALLEY OF THE BREAD LINE,
I SHALL NOT GO HUNGRY.
OBAMA HAS ANOINTED MY INCOME WITH TAXES,
MY EXPENSES RUNNETH OVER MY INCOME,
SURELY, POVERTY AND HARD LIVING WILL FOLLOW ME ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE.
THE DEMOCRATS AND I WILL LIVE FOREVER
IN A RENTED HOME.
BUT I AM GLAD I AM AN AMERICAN,
I AM GLAD THAT I AM FREE.
BUT I WISH I WAS A DOG
AND OBAMA WAS A TREE.

[silentheart]

This is real!
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,529576,00.html

[Pete LSD]

that's some blow sandwich!

[Oldhand]

Absolutely hilarious gag
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ff_Tl_IEx7A

[Fidget]

That looks like a Just For Laughs gag.
It's an annual international comedy festival in Montreal, but they have a zillion videos like this. (Fooling innocent people ... another proud canadian tradition)

[Oldhand]

That looks like a Just For Laughs gag.
It's an annual international comedy festival in Montreal, but they have a zillion videos like this. (Fooling innocent people ... another proud canadian tradition)

The ability to join the laughter after being at the receiving end of such practical jokes is what makes a great people

This wouldn't go down very well in, say, Singapore or the Gulf states.

[robin7]

My favorite.....

[cooler]

Absolutely hilarious gag
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ff_Tl_IEx7A

that is a 1977 GM chevrolet Impala station wagon, 1977-1979 models were 'downsized' from previous years but a lot more prettier The pre-1979 chevrolet impala and Oldsmobiles custom cruiser stn wagon are excellent cars but often subject to abuse because they are so dependable. Yes, i do chuckles when i see old american cars crunch european and JP cars

[cooler]

This is real!
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,529576,00.html

that's some blow sandwich!

it sure is.......