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Thread: Jokes

  1. #1242
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    The media has been making a rather large issue about the H1N1 virus that has been called the next pandemic. It seems to be causing quite a scare in many regions of the globe, and many people growing worried. After watching a news bulletin today, I asked my dad when he was going to start worrying about swine flu. His answer? - and this is sooooo bad...


    "When pigs fly"

    My apologies for unearthing what is quite possibly the worst pun ever devised.

  2. #1243
    Regular Member extremenanopowe's Avatar
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  3. #1244
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    Default Only In Vietnam..

    We know they like Motorcycles sooooo much ..
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  4. #1245
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    These radio hosts are just too low class to laugh at other people's accent.

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    Re: only in vietnam

    Very ingenious ways of packing a motorcycle. But what happens to any one of those passengers if they hit a pothole? Ouch!

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    Its certainly a world record. Everyone gets the effect.

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    Default A Chinese and an American lawyer..

    ..(some of you have probably read this; if not, enjoy)..don't mess with Chinese..

    The Lawyer and the Chinese

    An American lawyer and a Chinese are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
    The lawyer is thinking that all Chinese are so dumb that he could get over
    on them, easy. So the lawyer asks if the Chinese would like to play a fun
    game.

    The Chinese is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines,
    and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, and says that the game
    is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you
    pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay
    you $500, he says. This catches the Chinese's attention and to keep the
    lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

    The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from The Earth to
    the Moon?" The Chinese doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket, pulls out
    a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer?

    Now, it's the Chinese's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with
    three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer uses his laptop and
    searches all references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all
    the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching he
    finally gives up.

    He wakes up the Chinese and hands him $500. The Chinese pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep. The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer.

    He wakes the Chinese up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three
    legs and comes down with four? The Chinese reaches in his pocket, hands the
    lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep......Don't mess with Chinese.

  8. #1249
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    Quote Originally Posted by ctjcad View Post
    ..(some of you have probably read this; if not, enjoy)..don't mess with Chinese..

    The Lawyer and the Chinese

    An American lawyer and a Chinese are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
    The lawyer is thinking that all Chinese are so dumb that he could get over
    on them, easy. So the lawyer asks if the Chinese would like to play a fun
    game.

    The Chinese is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines,
    and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, and says that the game
    is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you
    pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay
    you $500, he says. This catches the Chinese's attention and to keep the
    lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

    The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from The Earth to
    the Moon?" The Chinese doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket, pulls out
    a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer?

    Now, it's the Chinese's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with
    three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer uses his laptop and
    searches all references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all
    the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching he
    finally gives up.

    He wakes up the Chinese and hands him $500. The Chinese pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep. The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer.

    He wakes the Chinese up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three
    legs and comes down with four? The Chinese reaches in his pocket, hands the
    lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep......Don't mess with Chinese.
    hahahaha, if i'm the american lawyer I would given the chinese a $500 USD promissory note bearing 1% interest payable annually. In times, the USD note worth nothing

  9. #1250
    Regular Member ctjcad's Avatar
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    Default Psalm 2008-2012

    ..it's been nearly a month..ah, what da heck..
    ..this one i'd like to esp. dedicate to master silentheart and cooler...

    PSALM 2008-2012: FIRST BOOK OF DEMOCRAT

    OBAMA IS MY SHEPHERD,
    I SHALL NOT WANT.
    HE LEADETH ME BESIDE STILL FACTORIES.
    HE RESTORETH MY FAITH IN THE REPUBLICAN PARTY.
    HE GUIDETH ME IN THE PATH OF UNEMPLOYMENT.
    YEA, THOUGH I WALK THROUGHT THE VALLEY OF THE BREAD LINE,
    I SHALL NOT GO HUNGRY.
    OBAMA HAS ANOINTED MY INCOME WITH TAXES,
    MY EXPENSES RUNNETH OVER MY INCOME,
    SURELY, POVERTY AND HARD LIVING WILL FOLLOW ME ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE.
    THE DEMOCRATS AND I WILL LIVE FOREVER
    IN A RENTED HOME.
    BUT I AM GLAD I AM AN AMERICAN,
    I AM GLAD THAT I AM FREE.
    BUT I WISH I WAS A DOG
    AND OBAMA WAS A TREE.

  10. #1251
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  11. #1252
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    that's some blow sandwich!

  12. #1253
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  13. #1254
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    That looks like a Just For Laughs gag.
    It's an annual international comedy festival in Montreal, but they have a zillion videos like this. (Fooling innocent people ... another proud canadian tradition)

  14. #1255
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fidget View Post
    That looks like a Just For Laughs gag.
    It's an annual international comedy festival in Montreal, but they have a zillion videos like this. (Fooling innocent people ... another proud canadian tradition)
    The ability to join the laughter after being at the receiving end of such practical jokes is what makes a great people

    This wouldn't go down very well in, say, Singapore or the Gulf states.

  15. #1256
    Regular Member robin7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by koo_fan View Post
    Name:  4vietnam.jpg
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    My favorite.....

  16. #1257
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oldhand View Post
    that is a 1977 GM chevrolet Impala station wagon, 1977-1979 models were 'downsized' from previous years but a lot more prettier The pre-1979 chevrolet impala and Oldsmobiles custom cruiser stn wagon are excellent cars but often subject to abuse because they are so dependable. Yes, i do chuckles when i see old american cars crunch european and JP cars

  17. #1258
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    Quote Originally Posted by silentheart View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Pete LSD View Post
    that's some blow sandwich!
    it sure is.......
    Attached Images Attached Images  

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