Jokes

**jchan04** · 04-23-2010, 08:22 AM

Originally Posted by T-maker

(6) Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass:
"Anyone got a cock?" All men rose.
"I meant anyone seen a cock?" All women rose.
"I mean anyone seen my cock?" All nuns rose. ............

embarrassed and trying to continue his enquiry....

he asks ..again...

"sorry, anyone seen a Flying cock?"..

there was a hush and suddenly a loud rumble and the ground shook....

ALL B'CERS THE WHOLE WORLD STOOD UP........

nice addition.!!

**george@chongwei** · 04-26-2010, 03:50 AM

lol

http://highschool.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=1078141

**cooler** · 04-26-2010, 11:30 AM

Originally Posted by T-maker

(6) Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass:
"Anyone got a cock?" All men rose.
"I meant anyone seen a cock?" All women rose.
"I mean anyone seen my cock?" All boys rose. ............

the truth is now out.

**extremenanopowe** · 04-27-2010, 09:30 AM

lol..................................

**Aspire** · 04-27-2010, 01:53 PM

Originally Posted by cooler

why six is afraid of seven

Originally Posted by Matt Ross

Man, this is an old one!!

A: Because 7 8 (ate) 9

HAHA....this is really laughable.

Btw cooler is back! Why were you MIA for 7 days? Went for centralized training for the up coming Thomas Cup

?

**cooler** · 04-27-2010, 02:00 PM

Originally Posted by Aspire

HAHA....this is really laughable.

Btw cooler is back! Why were you MIA for 7 days? Went for centralized training for the up coming Thomas Cup

?

didn't know ur my fans also

i was sick for the past weeks, and my pc was wonky too.

**Aspire** · 04-27-2010, 05:28 PM

Originally Posted by cooler

didn't know ur my fans also

i was sick for the past weeks, and my pc was wonky too.

Ok. Happy to know that all is well now.

**cooler** · 04-27-2010, 05:57 PM

Originally Posted by Aspire

Ok. Happy to know that all is well now.

Thx, not 100% recovered yet tho.

**T-maker** · 04-29-2010, 05:51 PM

heard it over the radio...

trainee diver : "why must we 'roll' back-wards from the boat to get into the water ? "

trainer ; " lol...if you roll forward, you'll still be in the boat !! "

**Thom_bad** · 04-29-2010, 06:03 PM

Originally Posted by Carrots

A mom is talking with her three children.
1st Child: Mom, why is my name Rose?
Mom: Because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head.
2nd Child: Mom, why is my name Snowflake?
Mom: Because just as I was carrying you out of the hospital after you were born, a snowflake fell on your head.
3rd Child: sakfjh 4r8e FIASHF SIOufhadafsdf DO FfdjddSI
Mom: Shut up, Brick.

That's GREAT

**shooting stroke** · 05-07-2010, 08:42 AM

Yap and yip are twins that is only 5 minutes apart when delivered. To distinguish them, their mother breastfeed yap, the eldest at her right breast and yip at her left breast. Sensing that yip is being attended more by his mother, yap plans to kill his younger brother yip by putting some poison at her mother's left breast that night.

Early in the morning when yap woke up, he heard his mother crying

yap: mother why are you crying?
mother: he's gone yap
yap: how did yip died mother?
mother: not yip, your FATHER!!!!!!!

**OneToughBirdie** · 05-11-2010, 10:06 AM

A young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist. "Hello, could you give me condom ......I'm going to my girlfriend's for dinner and I think I may be in with a chance". The pharmacist gives him the condom and as the young man is going out, he returns and says, "Give me another condom because my girlfriend's sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and I think I might strike it lucky there too." The pharmacist gives him a second condom and as the boy is leaving he turns back and says. "Go on, give me one more condom because my girlfriend's mum is still pretty cute and when she sees me she always makes eyes and, since She invited me for dinner I think she is expecting me to make a move! During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his left, the sister on his right and the mum facing him. When the dad gets there, the boy lowers his head and starts praying, "Dear Lord, bless this dinner and thank you for all you give us". A minute later the boy is still praying; "Thank you Lord for your kindness."Ten minutes go by and the boy is still praying, keeping his head down. The others look at each other surprised and his girlfriend is even more surprised than the others. She gets close to the boy and says in his ear, "I didn't know you were so religious." The boy replies, "I didn't know your dad is a pharmacist!"

**undeadshot** · 05-16-2010, 06:59 AM

Originally Posted by OneToughBirdie

A young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist. "Hello, could you give me condom ......I'm going to my girlfriend's for dinner and I think I may be in with a chance". The pharmacist gives him the condom and as the young man is going out, he returns and says, "Give me another condom because my girlfriend's sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and I think I might strike it lucky there too." The pharmacist gives him a second condom and as the boy is leaving he turns back and says. "Go on, give me one more condom because my girlfriend's mum is still pretty cute and when she sees me she always makes eyes and, since She invited me for dinner I think she is expecting me to make a move! During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his left, the sister on his right and the mum facing him. When the dad gets there, the boy lowers his head and starts praying, "Dear Lord, bless this dinner and thank you for all you give us". A minute later the boy is still praying; "Thank you Lord for your kindness."Ten minutes go by and the boy is still praying, keeping his head down. The others look at each other surprised and his girlfriend is even more surprised than the others. She gets close to the boy and says in his ear, "I didn't know you were so religious." The boy replies, "I didn't know your dad is a pharmacist!"

That made me smile

**cooler** · 05-22-2010, 04:12 PM

Boaters Found Clinging to Cooler
By Tiffany Griffith @ May 18, 2010 6:49 PM Permalink

A Mayport vessel brought a trio of boaters back to dry land after they survived three days in the Atlantic.
...

**OneToughBirdie** · 05-23-2010, 10:54 PM

An American cowboy went to Spain to see bull fighting and later, had lunch in a Spanish restaurant. He noticed a diner feasting on meat balls and thoroughly enjoying the meal. He asked for the waiter and the waiter told the cowboy those were bull balls. The waiter explained that after the bull was killed by the matador, the bull was cut up and the meat sold including the balls which is a real tender delicacy. Since the bull only has 2 balls, and if the cowboy wants to order them, then he has to come early next day to order. The cowboy returned the next day and as he was eating the balls, he noticed they were smaller than those yesterday. He asked the waiter and the waiter said, "well, sometimes the bull wins

'.

**cooler** · 05-26-2010, 02:37 PM

Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been linked to the emergence of that Scottish singing star, Susan
Boyle - now that Muslims know what a virgin looks like they are not so keen on going to paradise.

**ctjcad** · 06-10-2010, 01:59 AM

(some of you have probably read this; if not, enjoy)..

================================================== =============
George W. Bush, Tony Blair, and Vladimir Putin all died and visited hell.

While there, they saw a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talked for 5 minutes. When he was finished, the devil informed him that the cost was one hundred million rubles, so Putin wrote him a check for that amount.

Next Tony Blair called England and talked for 30 minutes. When he was finished, the devil informed him that the cost was 5 million pounds sterling, so he wrote him a check for that amount.

Finally George W. Bush got his turn and talked for 4 hours. When he was finished, the devil informed him that the cost was $5.00. So George wrote him a check for that amount.

When Putin heard this he went ballistic and asked the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.

The devil smiled and replied: "Since Obama took over the country, it has gone to hell, so it's a local call."