Frustrated I searched through the threads but couldn't find anything as specific to my problem. My partner and I played against the top school in our league today. Seemed like the entire team new what the outcome would be, but I honestly was not intimidated, and felt I would give my 100% best. I also thought my partner was going to also...but that didn't happen. I frankly feel that I'm one of the most serious people on the team, when it comes to competition, I may not be the BEST but I think I always TRY MY BEST. We were up against doubles 1, and it was so frustrating, cuz the other team was just fooling around and even served forehand really high until it was out. I knew they were taunting us, and therefore I knew that I could take advantage of their fooling around- however while we were at 8-8 my partner smashed into the net and I told him to "relax" (seemed like he was frustrated). He said back "Who cares, we're gonna lose anyway" Now to someone who is a serious player, we were at 8 ALL- my partner just absolutely gave up and we ended up losing 12-15----12-15!!!! IT proves that we could have BEAT THEM. I respect my partner highly, because he is more experienced than me and is by far more skilled, but it just surprises me that someone of that high level could have that sort of attitute. It honestly frustrates me as well. The second game he ended up giving up, and hitting a lot of shots out because of his frustration....I know I can't do much, but this isn't the first time it has happened, it has been almost every other single game, and it sucks. What could I do? If I talk to him he will think I'm being controling cuz im a lower level player...anyone been through this before?
You're right... nobody is infallible, especially if they fool around. Basically your more 'experienced' partner has no fighting spirit. You should tell him off: "yeah, we lost not because they beat us but because we beat ourselves for them". Attitude makes a major difference. Why are you competing in competitions and tournaments if you don't even believe in yourself? You might as well tell him to quit the team if he keep it up.
LOL well since I'm suppose to be the person who, as I believe Cappy75 once said, the "sacrificial lamb" of the team, the coach was going to put me in singles. I actually was looking forward to singles for once, even if we were up against the number one team in our league. That didn't happen, and even the singles players gave up on their games, quite depressing really...
mmm. What a bunch of wussies. Your team is so pathetic. Those who don't fight deserved to be kicked in the sack. Go on and march into the team talk and say, "What the **** are you guys doing? You guys have no spirit, letting the other team stroll over you pathetic faces..." lol that's what I'd do anyways
Maybe he had some ulterior reasoning to it? You said it yourself, he's more experienced than you are and is a high level player... maybe there was something off the courts that was bothering that temporarily made him lose his will to do his best. Either way, i'd say that a non-agressive opening of communication is the way to go... i mean, maybe there's something going on in his life that just bothered him. Does he strike you as the person who does this often? If the end result is 15-12, i'd imagine he has probably been thinking as well about why you guys lost-- i don't necessarily agree with the attitude of 'kick ass and take names' when it comes to teammates, i rather think that if anything that tends to distance people, especially partners, and that break in harmony could be fatal to the smoth functioning of a doubles team. Ask nicely first what was up, explain what you think... try to highlight as much as possible what the two of you did right togther that you couldve done more of rather than what went wrong, a positive spin is easier to digest. And if nice doesn't work, well then, by all means, have FEND flown in and start kicking some ass for distasteful attitude!
interestingly enough, i play my absolute best only when playing people who can destroy me.... it's not so much that i don't try my best against other opponents, it's just that somehow, the result is better when i play people who can smoke me... so long story short, you gotta find a partner like me, the type who loves to play people who can smoke him
I would go with the above post, I play my best when there is almost zero chance of winning, I want to see how much damage I can do. The one thing I would say is that the 12-15 scoreline does not mean you could have won but you nearly won in that match at that time. If both of you played your best then the other team would have had to play better to win (obviously) but if someone does not play 100% then there is always the chance that the other team played down and still had some in the tank and were not pushed to gain the victory, so hte closeness of the score means nothing. I'm not trying to put you or your team down but the attitude you have is the right one and it is good you feel that way, it will enable you to progress in future whereas the others will not reach the level you will. It not only takes skill but heart to make a player, the others seem to have neither.
I actually had the exact same problem about a month ago. My partner kept giving up even though we had a shot a winning. If they don't go 100% in one game than probably something is bothering them. If they do it constantly, then it has to do with the attitude. I think that's what seperates the better players from the the lowers, not nessacarily always skill, but spirit.
Yes, I do sometimes feel certain individuals on the team are pretty pathetic when it comes to believing in themselves. I was going to try to "remedy" the problems with my partner today...BUT HE DIDNT COME TO PRACTICE -_- (I thought he was joking when he said he wasn't, but hope it is something more important) and so therefore I was partnerless, and unable to practice with him, which really hurts in terms of trusting your partner. Maybe something COULD have bothered him, but he isn't someone who lets his feelings get to him, and I have NEVER seen him upset EVER, he is just so quiet about his personal issues, he won't even talk about why we lost lol hes one of those "I don't know" type of people. The only thing I could think of is that he doesn't like me being around one of my own friends (I think there is some type of relationship going on between her and my partner but I doubt that, because we're all friends. It all just doesn't make sense. AND I ran into another problem too. I don't think it is fair for pairs who have been playing doubles together for 4 years to look down upon pairs who have only been playing together for a few months...that is me and my partner. Our girls doubles and boys doubles are all pairs since their Freshman year, and my partner and I are a new pair. It just sucks that we don't have that closeness and communication that the others do, and its really affecting the way things are. Plus the fact that my partner sometimes DOESNT go to practice or is LATE just bugs- I wish to have a closer relationship as a pair but as of now its almost too late- and season is gonna be over in a few more weeks :crying:
maybe it was your partner's "that time of the month" badminton period LOL. but in all seriousness if its a one time thing maybe he was just off and pissed about it, i get it once or twice especially when i play with beginners during drop in sessions who try to act cool.
Has anyone seen the japanese movie, "Ping Pong"? It's a movie yes, so it's not real, but I think the same principles apply. Being motivated and doing your best is due to several factors, some in your control, some not. Some factors, you can contribute to help others as well. being encouraged by peers (positive support that makes you want to make them proud) being discouraged by peers (making you try hard to proove your peers wrong about your ability) having a 'rival' whose progression mirrors one's own having the guidance of someone 'solid' with experience, either a coach or senior player. By experience, I don't just mean that he's been playing long... i mean he has 'history' and can really understand that game not just technically, but emotionally and from the heart. I find mostly the people with lack of motivation are those who shy about wanting to get better. I know, for example, a friend who wants to get better at badminton, but his obstacle is his own pride; he's normally a type that you'd consider 'athletic' and he's good in other sports, so he feels uncomfortable at looking cumbersome and exerting himself in badminton. Silly, yes... but to them, these kinds of mental inhibitions are very important. Others are bored-- sometimes of the sport, sometimes of just not winning, sometimes a combination of both or more. I really think that a lot of what goes on in a badminton player's head isn't just on the courts... I've taught a lot of beginners the basics of badminton, and I personally think the difference between 'beginners' and 'intermediates' is how far they will push themselves on their own. So a beginner is the person who lacks the motivation to improove or to give their all, because they haven't quite mastered their inhibitions... they can be 'naturally' brilliant at playing, but without heart, in my mind it's still a beginner. And what i've learned through contact with beginners is that a lot of what makes people go from that beginner stage to that more independant stage is when they pass that threshold where they decide "I want this". Why? They found a reason on or off the court. The best we can do as external forces on them is to try and either encourage or coax them into succeeding, but that's as far as our job goes, that's as far as our ability as fellow badmintonners reaches. The best you can do is essentially set up an environment to make that revelation of "I want this" to be as easy and likely as possible. That means getting to know the person off court as much as on-court, and really exchanging ideas about goals and fears. I think one of the bigest pitfalls of human existence is this idea that 'we're unique'. Yes, we are. But it's a paradox, and at the same time, we aren't... What i'm trying to say is that the inihibitions that lie in some people are also in us, and the motivation that we have is also in others. It's just that the 'packaging' is a bit different... if you put two people at a table and they really talk, they really get to know eachother, it's like harmonic resonance. The understanding that one's fears and goals are not a burden on one person alone, but shared by comrades, that's sometimes enough to cross that line and then people say, "I want this".
Personally, I think it's easier to train the skill, and harder to get the heart going. If your partner is the "easily give up" type (as u metioned, happened quite a few times), then, he pretty much can't be motivated to improve any more. I just can't understand, how someone could improve, if s/he just give up a match, simply because the opponent is better.
thanks for you all's help and thoughts. Just an update about how its going, well there is now even more drama amongst our team, because the coach and some younger players on the team began to gossip- about MY partner and now he is really mad, and didn't come to practice. I'm not gonna go into detail about what it was about, but it was pretty offensive. I talked to my partner about it because I sure was upset too, and he said he will still play till season is over, so that was a relief for me. He still is pretty mad, and he's going to try to avoid the younger grls (they are very good players btw, its not like they're just plain being snobby without having any position to do so). There's a big tournament this weekend, but I won't be playing with him since he is playing someone else, so I'm playing with another person, but that didn't go too well with the younger grls who totally became snobby and u noe what after we played them...too much drama on the team, people just need to quit being discouraging and annoying it just sucks when some people can kill the badminton spirit
Fer sure, you have to have that fire that burns in you, that makes you competitive and give u an extra edge. If you're not motivated and distracted by shannanigans u will never have the confidence to meet the challenges. I think your partner needs a pep talk, rather than criticism right now. Your coach should act more supportively and give constructive criticism rather than talking behind someone's back. That's not the right attitude.
Gigachip, I love drama... Being a kdrama fan, no wonder So please tell us more about it... hahaha... No on second thought, better leave it alone.
Drama's good! But bad for badminton. Seems bigger than it actually is. Beside being intangible, its effect can be devastating. Search for "mental strength" strategies, if your partner's really into badminton. In the end, we all love badminton. -dave
I have a weird fetish with getting smoked by better players as well. But I get frustrated when I lose to someone of skill level that is much lower.
Usually when i get a partner to join a tournament. I usually observe how he play doubles with other pll. I get to know him , talk to him , communicate with him.If i find him have a good character and attitude towards the game then only i will ask him to join me to play in a tournament. His skills doesnt really matter to me (of coz you are looking for an equal level partner). What i mean is that his skill doesnt have to be REALLY GOOD. When you are having fun and the same time competitive and give 100% on court. Even when you lose both of you are happy that you guys lost to a better pair and both give it all in that match. Get to know your partner first before partnering him/her. 8 All and he already say "we are going to lose" ? I personally think you deserve a better player. Sometimes skills is important.. but the HEART and Desire is much than skills itself. Anyway i'm sure most of us encounter this problem before inlucding myself. Lets treat it as a learning lesson and move on. Important thing is Enjoy the Game.
