Uncontrollable Anger & Frustration

Used to be like your friend, really frustrated about the way I played but have been better these days. I guess problem is that your friend may be playing quite inconsistently, making lots of unforced errors and then losing his confidence and the situation got worse. He would need to understand that his anger not only affects his play, but also his partner and people around him. He needs to know where the problems are and try to correct them. It certainly does not help by scaring people who otherwise would want to play with him.

 

I guess Kwun could be right, too!! When I was having my time with "bad attitutde", much was happening in my personal life as well. I was bascially playing badminton for the "wrong" reason, therefore, frustration, frustration, frustration...

Talk to your friend, help him to understand nothing is going to change overnight. If skills is the problem, get a coach or something...

 

maybe he just doesn't have enough confiden in his skills. I think u should tell him face to face so he could change his attitude before he end up alone without anyone to play with. I knew a guy just like that in my club, now he always sit alone and no one bother to ask him to play with because of his attitude. Usually I hate people like that cause they alway ruin a good game just because they couldn't handle a few minor errors.

 

Don't we all encounter players like him in our clubs. Some of them mellow down over time, some just keep at it. Those who don't change their ways will eventually have no one willing to play with them. It's very important to understand that badminton is a social game despite its competitive nature. One is very dependent on others' goodwill for great games and skill improvement.

I think Kamen should have a long talk with his friend about his attitude and how he affects others around him. It's easier if he's just bad on the court.

 

Heh , sounds like someone we know who is totally normal off court but who is a complete A hole on court .

 

I know a guy like that. He told me he has ADHD. He also think he is very good and plays very aggressivly. I question that behind his back. Not a lot of people would play double with him. Some people with ADHD has temper problem because they know they can do better if they control their temper. It is like swimming up stream. Any little let up and you will be washed down the river.

 

What does ADHD mean?

 

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Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.
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Very true.

On a bad day, I sometimes put too much expectation in my games (i.e. win all) and hope to get a relief. However, it could back fire, if I under perform. Once or twice, I slapped the wall in total frustration after a bad shot. Of course, that won't really help my game, as well as mess up my reputation.

 

Don't forget, age might be a factor too..is your friend reasonably young? Normally the 'young' ones are a bit more, should we say 'passionate' about things..and as a result, can over-react to situations or not be able to control their emotions and tempers..so that could be it too..

But I agree with what Kwun said as well, if it was stress from his off court life, then he could just be taking it out on the poor birdies and ppl around him. Maybe you should encourage him to play rugby (or American football)?

Maybe he's afraid..afraid because he's scared of ppl thinking he's not good enough to play with them...mmmmmmm, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hates leads to the dark side..mmmmmm *yoda nod*

 

I think kwun's idea comes closest-- perhaps the answer is off the badminton courts. You mentioned that the guy is on the same team as you? In school? Then perhaps this is an opportunity to get to know him a little better, see what he’s like off courts. You can’t change everyone, and I’d imagine that players like that being rather tough to play with are probably tough to get along with—but sometimes, who knows, they’re just looking for someone to open up to, someone to understand. Unless he’s a crazy badminton addict who is just too perfectionist for his own good, it’s likely that any anger and frustration he expresses is also linked to things off the court.

But enough off-court psychology. As to what you can do if it’s just in the gyms, try positive reinforcement—give him compliments when he does stuff right. Try to lighten up the game, tell him to relax and that it’s okay to make mistakes. Steer away at all costs from saying general trigger phrases like “try harder next time”, be as objective as possible about what criticisms you offer if there really is a problem with his techniques or tactics.

If there is one type of player who is similar to the angry player, it is the player who gets discouraged (usually beginners in the face of expert opponents). The difference is that they’re not vocal or violent, the on the other hand clam up and turn silent—but the end result is reduced performance.

For both cases, it’s all about setting up the right ‘mood’ for the game. Things that help this are taking into account effort, and not results—for example, even if you lose the points, if it was a good rally, give the guy a high five, pat him on the shoulder or something. (Some people do this too much, obviously, but that’s another story)

It would be interesting to hear from someone who actually IS one of these angry players…

On a side note it is very difficult to play friendly games with or against angry players because the whole attitude is kinda scary. But in a serious competitive match, I’m guilty of playing in such a way as to provoke these kinds of players— for example, a player I play against sometimes in singles and doubles, if I have an opportunity for a kill I will sometimes opt NOT to take the safe kill (say, a smash from my midcourt to one of his unexposed corners) and risk instead a drive or lob to corners or drops that I know he has a slight chance of getting but is likely to fail at… (something I learned from BC article “Causing Damage”). The point is that though a kill would have earned an instant point, against players who have these kinds of angry reactions, sometimes risking loss of a point just to mess them up mentally will in the long run dictate the positive (for me) outcome of the match.

Try to talk sense into the guy, in a nice way—point out the logic of playing more relaxed. Less errors, for one thing.

From another perspective, point out what about their anger is OK… that getting upset over a failed technique is natural, and a certain amount of dissatisfaction is what does lead to improvement—BUT, more importantly point out that too much dissatisfaction is a mental weakness that can be exploited by the enemy. It is better to screw up a technique every now and then and lose a point then to get in the habit of getting uncontrollably angry, which will lead to loss of the entire game.

Players should concentrate on good intentioned efforts (by good intentioned, I mean tactically wise shots) rather than the results—the results will improve themselves with practice, but what can always go down is effort when people get discouraged or angry.



(Not to mention that angry people are just not as fun to play with…)

 

I have to play doubles with a guy just like that, although hes took to hitting himself with his racquet instead of throwing it at walls so its starting to happen less (great idea to stop racquet abuse?!)