Hey there.. just wanna share this... 1 of my friend (trust me, its not me!!), is joining a tournament soon. This tournament is very important for him. He told me that 1 of his ex-girlfriend is joining the tournament too. because they have just broke up and its very painful for him to see his ex-girlfriend again. He told me the problem is when he meet his ex-girlfriend at the tournament, he will feel very heart broken and its going to affect his perfomance in the tournament. That is the problem that he is facing now.. i really dont know how to help him but i really want to help him :crying: :crying: :crying: .... can you guys give any suggestion?? Help.... Thanks
Not an expert in either of the two (especially love ), but here are my 2 cents. Ask him to sit down and decide his priorities and then focus on them. Ask him to vent out his feelings through his game, they will give him strength and energy to fight during the game.
Both suggestions also valid. Ask him to play his best. He may or may not get back his EX after the tourney. If he doesnt, look into the future. Maybe he can get some fans from the tourney.
Either way, if his ex-girlfriend is there, he can't just walk away from the tournament. There's no way he can give a 100% performance unless he turns his feelings into a positive energy. It's pretty much up to him, but I'd go down in a blaze of glory.
Get some friends to cheer him on during his games. That should keep him focused and energized. If he's playing doubles, get his partner to keep talking to him, encouraging him. Again it is to keep his mind on the game.
I broke up the day before the final round tournament, ended up winning it too. The thing is, you have to think straight. Love and badminton do not go together. They are two different things, and if you let one affect the other, then you're bound to fail. Its sad to say, but the saying runs true in this case....nice guys finish last.
turn this negative situation into POSITIVE energy. ie REVENGE (in court that is) (Most american do it in the court of law )
\ yeap..it is.. but he told me that he wants to forget about his ex... because the problem is they have just broke up. so whenever he thinks about his ex, its very hurtful for him.. seeing his ex again is even worse.... ...
The problem is in his mind, whether actually see her by person or not, is just 1 of the many ways to show the final effect. Even if she's not there, somehow, he might still think about something and feel down. I know it's harder to do than just talk about, and I've experienced something similar in the past. I think it's impossible to just pump him up as nothing ever happened. Himself is the one to make the decision, being a crying baby or be strong, and focus on something he should do.
i agree with the comment above, what did you think leyton hewitt done when be broke up with kim clisters? and just look who he's with now
Ask him to think and act as a professional. Its down to business. He has to set his personal agenda aside.
he's screwed. hah kidding. well, kinda. its going to be hard, but he's gotta focus on the game only. simple as that sounds, it will be tough, but crucial. play in the tournament, sort out personal stuff AFTER.
Hmm... anger is a very dangerous tool to use. It's double edged, depending on your natural disposition... you might be able to focus more when you're angry, but not always and not everyone can use that as an edge. IMO, you guys have already lost since he's so affected by the breakup. Tournaments are tough enough, adding emotional distraction is gonna kill your chance. You might as well be playing 2 vs. 1.
What a surprise to read from your friend's story because my friend's been through the same thing. We had a tourney last week but my friend didn't want to play with because his ex-gf would be there . To him, the reason why they broke up was because of many things but one the most important things that made her disappointed was that he lacks confidence in himself (even in a badminton game). I told him whether he would be there or not, he still had to face the reality that they already broke up. And he did not have to prove that she had wrong thinking about him or try to please her in anyway. It's simply that he came to the tourney because he liked it and enjoyed the atmosphere of the games. Anyway, we went through 10hr and play with 30 different players in a double match and we finally won. What surprised me was that she came over and congratulated him and admitted that she wouldn't think that he would have gone this far (what a joke and a j...!). Well, they still break up but I told him at least he wasn't that bad like the way she thought of him. He just needs to forget her and take things more serious to his next....gf , it just like the commercial of the Washington Post on TV..."if you don't get it, you don't get it! )
I've been through this situation before, *cough* Visit to york memo *cough* and I was shaking on the bus ride there. But I kept my mind focused on the game, and used any other thoughts to "Must beat opponent, must show her up." Incentive works really well when you want to win