Did you ever at some point in your life believe or experienced that a really good friendship might be some kind of a product lifecycle ? I mean you get to know some new people and thereafter you might become some good friends, the relationship develops further and further. You enjoy your friendship and share most of your time being together but after awhile like years it is becoming more and more dull. Did you ever experience something like this or is it just a common thing in terms of becoming mature. In my mind there some similarities to product lifecycle with some kind of introduction, climax and kinda end of support for this product. I feel like the older I become the more difficult it is to make some real good friends not only these for small talks. Although me and my friends are still good friends (since childhood) but there is kinda feel of splitting up. Kinda akward. Care to share your experiences ?
I agree in part, but I could rant for hours and hours and hours and hours on the subject of friendships. Some friendships I do believe have a finite life cycle... once you've learned all you can from one another and grow bored, or one or both of you changes so that you don't share what made it worthwhile anymore... in those cases I believe they end. But there are so many kinds of friendships. There are the long-term kind that aren't emotionally intense, the people you see a few times a year and have a simple good time with. There are the incredibly close friendships that are very emotionally taxing and tend to either explode or last very long term, and don't go through this overuse life cycle. Friendships are confusing, and so difficult to hang on to. But yet so necessary, we are social creatures. I don't believe anyone could ever survive truly alone for an extended period of time.
i have like 7 really close friends I've known for 15-5 years and dozens of other friends who come and go but my really close friends keep building over the years. of course you have people you lose touch with or just dont really get along with but people you bond with you can spend infinite amount of time with and they never really get old. personally though I'm not really emotional and it takes me a long time to consider someone a good friend.
Disagree, but it also depends on the person. What is an extended period of time for you? I close with this: "The mind is its own place and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven." -John Milton, Paradise Lost
Well I know people can become completely reclusive and retreat to a cabin in the woods or some such thing and not interact with people for years at a time. Despite the fact that people can and do engage in taht... I don't know. I have to question their sanity. Look at Tom Hanks in Castaway, heh. I like to spend time alone at my cabin, which is pretty isolated... but I start to get extremely lonely after five days or so. But then again, just because I can't imagine life without friends or social interaction doesn't mean it's not a normal, good thing for other people, so I don't know.
hmm... as much as i hate to admit it, i think there may be something in the friendship cycle. certainly my experience is that the really close ones can jus fritter out, or implode, thats the worst end though. personally i get cabin fever if i live with ppl too long, i get to the point where they just drive me mad, differnt degrees for differnt ppl. need of change! so that affirms it for me, but it doesnt mean that the rule works indefinitely it has to do with the characters of those invloved, how much they change, the personality traits that make them act the way they do, either dissolving the situation or saving it? i dont know! thats the kind of question theres no real answer to i believe.
Well thank you very much for your posting. I have never considered there to be different kind of friendships but now reading your reply, some things seems to make sense to me. Until now there was no half hearted friendships for myself because maybe I am one of the few guys who strictly separate between very close friends and not so close friends, and only these two possibilities. I had no idea that other people may make friends just for good times and that they might not looking for a closer relationship. Westwood, thank you very much for this, this has kind of enlighten me !!! As for my childhood friends, there is this awkward feeling of separating but none of us can do something against it. Even though I can still feel this infinite and invisible strong bond between us although we see and talk to each other less than ever.
I understand what you mean... I definitely go through this often too. If you find a good solution for it, please pass it along! I often wonder if it's worthwhile finding again the people I really miss. Because I've frequently 'gone back' to friends where the friendship ended, and found things to be extremely disappointed and they just didn't work out. Yet, I really miss what I had... I guess I'm just stuck with it, this product is a one time use only!
The problem is that I am a much more emotional and compassionate person than the average people in terms of friendship and feelings. For me a true friendship is something of the most valueable thing to have and I cherish and show my appreciation to my friends whenever it is suited and to the right extent but not overacting. So sometimes I might feel very sad and angry if somebody turn down my appreciation and effort I put into this relationship by just having this kind of "yeah...whatever..." attitude.
If I gonna find some solution to this problem I am definately gonna post it here. I share the same thought and experience here, it is always different to go back to the person who you were close with and it turns out to be odd in most cases. I guess you just cant turn back time and pretend as nothing happened meanwhile... Sadly the chances that the old rusted friendship will bloom again is very little.
Talking about friendship and friends, do you know which guys I hate most ?! 1. It is these people who never care about you or even bother try to stay in contact with you but always show up if they need anything of you or need you to do something. As soon they have accomplished their goal they will disappear like the mist in the morning. 2. Now these people get me very mad. Do you know these people who impersonate this special attitude of "give and take" ? They always do you a favour altough you had never asked for it but with the hidden intention and mind that you will owe him/her something, so they can come to you in future if they need you to do a favour. I always have help my friends because I love to be helpful and do them a favour as a friend, by this way I can also show my appreciation how much this friendship means to me. But I swear I never did someone a favour with the intention to exploit him/her later for.
Zangetsu: you have the wrong "friends". The people you describe are not friends, that are acquaintenances. Conclusion: you need to find real "friends". These are the people that think and act like you do.
