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10-24-2010, 08:42 PM #1
I told my girlfriend I loved her one day, she leaves me the next. WHY?
Ok I apsolutly know this is the wrong place for this, but here me out. I'm desprate for answers.
OK, this is going to be huge story. please read it all.
ok, I work as an English teacher in Jingshan, China. I met i Beautiful chinese girl who is also a english teacher. we work at the same school. Our boss, Mr. Lin owns a Public High school and a private english school. he is a rich ass Business man. Hes a liar. He would use the fact that I loved my Girlfriend and that he employed her to get me to do things. For example: one day he comes to me and he says, Judy (my gf) has come to me and told me she is very upset that your class is not very good. ********, I have a good class and a damn well know it. My students love me, I talked to Judy and she said she never talked to him about anything of the sort. Parents tell him i'm a bad teacher because they don't wanna pay Mr. Lin however much it is to enroll a student there. So I have plans to leave Jingshan on Dec 15th an go teach in GuangZhou. Judy knows this. She told me twice she would come with me. she promised me she would come with me. Because we were in love. So 2 days ago I reminded her I was going to GuangZhou. she said ok, and asked her again if she will come with me. she says yes. I quoted Led Zeppelin and told her I'm going to love her each and everyday. She smiled and kissed me. That night before I went to bed i texted her, I told her I love her with all my Heart, Soul, and Mind. She responed with ^_^ . which means very happy. Next day (aka Hell). I wake up in the morning and go to the school. She's wearing clothes I have never seen before. She looked Amazing. I had class in the morning untill 11:30. so i finished class me and Judy went down stairs to eat lunch. everything is still ok now. I ask her, can we do something at lunch, she says no because she has work to do. ok. so, latter i tell her, I gotta go to the high school (Thats where I live, My home is behind the school gate) to get something. I will come back. she said ok. So I go. Mr. Lin is waiting for me there. He sits me down in his office and asks me, How long will you stay in Jingshan? I said I don't know. He asked again. and again. Louder each time. eventually a gave in and told him. Dec 15th I go to GuangZhou. Meaning he probubly already knew, he just wanted to hear it from me. then he asked me, what will happen to Judy? I said I don't know. again he asked again, and again, and again. louder each time. so I said she's coming with me. I then told him, Don't you say a word of this to Judy. I said it Twice. He confirmed he would not say anything to her both times. He drives me back to the school, Judy looks all depressed and very upset. I ask her whats wrong. she says nothing. I say no, somethings wrong and I need to know. she said i have some thinking to do about my own life. Mr. Lin calls her in his office. they talk and and soon as she comes out of his office she tells says to me "You told Mr. Lin that i'm going with you to GuangZhou?" I said he demanded an answer. after this a went to Mr. Lin's office and Yelled at him. I said "I told you not to talk to her!" I left the building and I get a text from Jusy saying "I will not go with you to GuangZhou, You lied to me and you know it." know I'm writing this question for desperate help because I can't leave her. what should I do? I have no idea what I lied about. she won't answer her phone, she won't talk to me, I'm hurt, I'm depressed, I'm lonely, and have cryed many tears. What can I do to fix this one?
10-24-2010, 10:53 PM #2
What a touching story, i felt your sorrow. Honestly, im not sure if im able to give you any good advice. But my gut feeling is for you to tell your GF exactly the conversation you had with Mr. Lin and then tell/convince her again that you love her and you wanted her to come with you. But regardless of what she decide, it should not affect your decission to go to GuangZhou. You are the man, the future and the rock.
i wish all the best and bless.
10-25-2010, 12:05 AM #3
Hi there thecomedian ( you remind me one of the character in the Watchmen movie...),
Personally, from my opinion, its better for you to know the truth first of what she meant about you lied to her since that is the cause of the conflict that leads to your suffering now. Resolved the issue and then decides what is the best for you from there.
If all effort to understand why she said you lied to her failed and, she stills continously avoids you and the scene of your relationship with her starts to become distance despite you've already tried the best by putting all your heart to win her back, then it's time for you to move on with your life as your future hold more gold in your soul than any other love can fill in.
Comedian, if you already sincerely made all necessary actions to make her know that you truly love her with all your heart before you go and if your GF truly love you like what you wrote here then i beleive, she will come back to you as like written in the song "Heaven Knows" by Rick Price :
"That if you really love her,
You've gotta set her free,
And if she returns in kind,
I'll know she's mine."
All the best
10-25-2010, 12:39 AM #4
You have to find a way to talk to her: phone, text, sms, whatever way. But face to face is still the best.
Talk to her friends or relatives if you have to in order to connect with her.
Only by talking to her can you truly resolve this issue.
10-25-2010, 03:45 AM #5
Thank you you guys, I am a Canadian Badminton player. I will be going to GuangZhou to Train. I have a dream to qualify for an All england. thats my goal. I am only in Jingshan for a short time. Thank you for you input. I will be taking all of your advice because it's all good. I wanted Judy to be a part of that dream. But maybe It's time to move on. Thank you for hearing me out and not shuting me down You guys are awsome.
11-08-2010, 08:14 AM #6
Best wishes... TheComedian....
Hope everything is going alright for you...
11-08-2010, 08:07 PM #7
Interesting story and a couple of lessons to learn.
Remember that chinese societies are autocratic in nature. What the boss says you should do, you must do.
In general, chinese are not so open about the plans and intentions in case it creates a can of worms. Therefore probably best not to have said anything to the boss until the very last moment.... especially, as you were not on good terms with him.
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