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Thread: Playing with an arrogant player
12-11-2013, 09:42 AM #1
Playing with an arrogant player
have this problem with certain player in one of my groups.
first, he is good. backhand can hit crosscourt baseline that kinda standards.
that where the problem lies, he is good such that he becomes complacent and starts reprimanding ppl.
btw he is a singles player. i have lost countless times to him thou the scores are usually close.
so in this group of mine, i am somewhat neither here nor there, not that good but not that bad either.
partnering him was a nitemare with constant bombardment e.g. serving short on my side was bad and when he short serve it is perfectly fine. it seems that mistakes made by partner is not tolerable but mistakes made by him are alright, think you guys get the drift?
at first, i thought i was the only one with problems with him but it seems couple of my friends are feeling that he is too arrogant.
at times, i just feel like packing up my bags and leave but it wouldn't be nice.i mean badminton to me is just a leisure game of fun, enjoyment and workout. to him, it is like a fault finding mission, everytime he loses someone else takes the blame.
how can i deal better with this kind of player(other than improving my game)
any advise? thanks
Last edited by Nict_26; 12-11-2013 at 09:48 AM.
12-11-2013, 11:06 AM #2
you're overthinking this. it is normal that better players are looking down to worse ones that can't make a competition or make lousy partners.
you should develop a positive attitude and try to learn from him. or if it bothers you that much - don't play with him.
12-11-2013, 04:12 PM #3
How about tell him to "chill out" or find another group. Maybe point him another more competitive group that plays at his level.
12-11-2013, 05:17 PM #4
12-11-2013, 05:20 PM #5
Perhaps just tell him nicely to "relax, it's just a game, we're all here to have fun... and if you don't find it fun, well" ...
12-11-2013, 05:24 PM #6
I know how you feel. People are really arrogant but yet when I still beat them they're like "wow it was a fluke" or "I wasn't even trying".
12-12-2013, 03:08 AM #7
You can change your own attitude, but trying to change someone else's is not worth your time and effort. It sounds like your "friend" makes playing less enjoyable for you.
If you're the type for confrontation, you can say "hey, I get that you're more skilled than me, but you nagging on me all the time won't improve me, and you're really making this less fun for me". If he responds something like "I'm just trying to help you!" or "You're so bad I can't have fun!" let him know that you aren't here for competition, but for leisure, or that you'd rather he only "help" you when you ask.
If he doesn't back off after you've told him you don't appreciate his behavior, I'd stop playing with him. If your group plays at a club with challenge courts, encourage him to go play there, where competition is desired. There are always bigger fish, and unless he is the #1 player in your area, perhaps he can learn some humility.
(Personally, I tend to be the overly competitive friend in the group. There's a definite difference in the mentality of "I'm just here for fun" and " I want to win! And improve! So I can win more!". One is not better than the other, and the two are not mutually exclusive.)
12-12-2013, 09:29 AM #8
12-12-2013, 10:37 AM #9
thanks all for your advice. guess itz time to change group.
12-12-2013, 11:33 AM #10
Nah, if he's the only problem player, why do you have to move? Just avoid partnering him.
12-16-2013, 11:37 AM #11
i am looking at playing with alternate groups so chances of playing him is lesser, so less conflicts and more enjoyable game...
i will still meet him once in a while to see whether i have improve..
anyways, thanks ya all for the advice. appreciate it
12-19-2013, 06:54 PM #12
I'm of two minds about this.
On one hand, I'm a pretty confrontation-averse kind of guy. I would usually rather just ignore an arrogant player or attempt to avoid playing with him/her as much as possible. Who needs that kind of drama in your life, amirite? Live and let live, etc...I usually take this approach.
On the other hand, sometimes people really need to be taught a lesson. If people continue to let them get away with being arrogant/annoying/bad tempered, then they're going to continue to be that way. It only brings down the rest of the group. Some people are really good at telling people off and not getting too emotionally involved in it. Or, they can tell them off in a way so that there's minimal fallout or hurt egos. If you think you can handle it, then perhaps you should take this approach. For the record, I can never do this kind of thing :P
12-19-2013, 08:41 PM #13
I have a little side story to this. In one group I played in, this guy turns up. Good player but a bit of a mean streak. Not arrogant but a bit mean - the type that would ask for help but not reciprocate or only give cursory thanks. When we play games, any marginal calls are in his favour - he's that competitive.
I know he's mean from some of his business dealings that we hear through the grapevine. But it's none of our business.
One day, his wife comes down and makes a commotion. This guy has been having an affair and his wife is out for a confrontation. Why she has to pick our session is sheer bad luck? Or perhaps the second women plays in our club! Of course , none of us knew but is it anything we should stick our noses into is another matter?
Police eventually get called, things settle but then flare up again after the police have left. Mr Affair had got into another fight with a club member. The police get called a second time. The hall is part of a school and the headmaster gets really pissed off banning all badminton clubs forever.
Mr Affair gets banned from the club but the damage has been done. The club has to move from a very central location and nice hall to one further away. Too far away for me to continue.
Should Mr Affair have been excluded earlier...?
12-19-2013, 08:45 PM #14