"You know the world is changing when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the USA of arrogance, and the Germans don't want to go to war!"
Very funny. One more. Girls want to join boy¡¦s club. (See what will happen at the Masters this week)
Since you talked about war and France. Here's one for yah: French milatary victories Then click on defeats
ROFL! i had some knowledge about their er... record of losses, but i never thought it was that numerous...
HAHAHA!! Both are hilarious! This place is pretty funny, its got pictures from Japan of bad english. www.engrish.com Phil
PECANS IN THE CEMETERY On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence. Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." He just knew what it was. "Oh my", he shuddered, it's Satan and the Lord dividing the souls at the cemetery. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along. “Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls." The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled to the cemetery. Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..." The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord himself." Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord. At last they heard, "One for you, one for me." And one last "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done."…They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the boy on the bike
Top Ten Reasons Why Canada will not join USA in the War on Iraq Hey, alot of people here on BF sound like they're from Toronto or Canada, so at least they should get these. 10. We have no way of getting there. 9. We are too busy at home with the Maple Syrup Season. 8. Iraqs don't drink Labatts beer. 7. Saddam's name pronounced backwards is "Mad Ass". We'll stay away from him. 6. There is only limited potential for sales of Canadian Bacon in Iraq after the war. 5. Our Sea King Helicopter was damaged and needs repairs. 4. Celine Dion can't sing to the troops because she has a contract in Las Vegas 3. The Rivers in Iraq are too shallow for our War Canoes. 2. Lousy hockey in Iraq at this time of year 1. Our army is needed at home in case of another snow storm in Toronto. Phil
and send our 40 year old equipment to iraq? Nahh, just order it from UK and have it shipped straight there. Save on shipping and handling fees
that iraqis informant is one lucky dude yesterday. He is gonna collect a cool 15 mil USD, tax free, plus a green card for his family. This is better than winning a lottery. Hmm, maybe even 30 mil for 2 heads.
It's supposed to in the Badminton Fanatic area but can't seems to post it thu. so here it is... How you wish you have your own badminton court or club. Your SLAP! is more powerful than your punch. You rarely miss when killing bugs with your flyswatter. You think the paintjob of your favorite racket will look good on your car. You hang your all rackets to the wall, no pictures or posters. Your most trusted weapon is your racket. You talk to your racket. You pamper your racket. You smell your racket. You have pictures of you and your rackets. You cry and mourn when one of your favorite racket breaks and you keep telling yourself the two of you will see each other in heaven someday. Your racket is your best friend.
No idea on earth about how I missed this for four years! http://winterson.com/2005/06/episode-iii-backstroke-of-west.html Splitting yours sides in the middle of the night might not be a good thing
Enjoy... LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION 1 Trevor Adams, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work in his cubicle. Trevor works independently, without 3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Trevor never 4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always 5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended 6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee 7 breaks. Trevor is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no 8! vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound 9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Trevor can be 10 classed as a high-calibre employee, the type that cannot be 11 dispensed with. Consequently, I truly recommend that Trevor be 12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be 13 executed as soon as possible. Addendum...... The idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote this report. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines. Always get a second opinion!! Second Opinion! The doctor said, 'Fred, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.' Fred was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new suit.' He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit.' The elderly tailor eye d him briefly and said, 'Let's see... Size 44 long.' Fred laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?' 'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said. Fred tried on the suitit fit perfectly. As Fred admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?' Fred thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.' The salesman eyed Fred and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.' Fred was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?' 'Been in the business 60 years.' Fred tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. Fred walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?' Fred thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.' The salesman said, 'Let's see... Size 36. Fred laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you!I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.' The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.' New suit - $400 New shirt - $36 New underwear - $6 Second Opinion - PRICELESS
