Jokes

Discussion in 'Chit-Chat' started by Gessle, Aug 8, 2004.

  1. wilfredlgf

    wilfredlgf Regular Member

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    Still Neverton.

    STILL beneath us.
     
  2. Qidong

    Qidong Regular Member

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    If the story is changed to ".... I have been married for 7 years....", the same thing will happen. :)
     
  3. silentheart

    silentheart Regular Member

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    OK, given that the married wife got married around 20. She is married for 20+ years. She must be 40+ now. Tell me what is not sagging... That is including his ****...
     
  4. extremenanopowe

    extremenanopowe Regular Member

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    I see very few bc people with humour. Most prefer to get stress and battle out in KO. ;)

    Anyway, life is short, I got a couple of friends with high blood pressure and liver cancer. Chill out dude. Enjoy life. ;)
     
  5. silentheart

    silentheart Regular Member

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    Sorry if I sound like a kill joy. I just want to point out the reason why her husband react that way. It is from experience. Beside, does she think she is a MILF?
     
  6. Fidget

    Fidget Regular Member

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    This thread is becoming rather lurid. Besides, "sagging" is such an unflattering description.:(
    Kinder on BC to say, "head-heavy and flexible". ;)
     
  7. jimbo

    jimbo Regular Member

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    Saggy? LOL pls consult Wong Mew Choo... she just "upgraded" her assets... LOL
     
  8. T-maker

    T-maker Regular Member

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    oh my.. that's really BOLEH !!

    and LCW is so pissed off thinking about it, he keeps losing to LD.... lol....
     
  9. kwun

    kwun Administrator

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    this is too funny!!!

    [video=youtube;uH3J9VtktIo]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uH3J9VtktIo[/video]
     
  10. !¿Clue?!

    !¿Clue?! Regular Member

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    LMAO...that is beyond epic fail.
     
  11. Fidget

    Fidget Regular Member

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    Somebody posted this before a couple years ago, I think. Pretty funny.

    But if you make fun of this, are you making fun of Lance Armstrong? :rolleyes:
    This video is from the Livestrong website, after all, which is trying to get people a bit more active. Not a bad thing. Very noble, in fact. :eek:

    But perhaps there is a slight difference in the advice to:
    a) get an $8,000 bike and start grinding up your local Col de Tourmelet on weekends

    ...and...

    b) go to a windy park in your dungarees and underhand a Walmart birdie. (don't to tuck your shirt in!) :p
     
  12. RSLvictorSOTX

    RSLvictorSOTX Regular Member

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    A) grind your cojones against the saddle to that it is purplish and numb:) but since it's an 8k bike, just suck it up:)?

    A1) he's got one ball left to numb against the saddle!

    B) there is no B;).
     
    #1392 RSLvictorSOTX, Mar 13, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2011
  13. silentheart

    silentheart Regular Member

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    safe badminton

    Enough said. Better be safe than sorry.
     

    Attached Files:

  14. madbad

    madbad Regular Member

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    You must be joking. Taking 2 steps before laying into the serve? ROFL

    Tsunami fail.
     
  15. extremenanopowe

    extremenanopowe Regular Member

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    wow... I have never thought about being too safe. lol. ;)
     
  16. 7SamuraiX

    7SamuraiX Regular Member

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    anyone want to try give that shuttle a hit?
     
  17. silentheart

    silentheart Regular Member

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    Why did the shuttle in the picture wears a rain coat?
    Really, you want the other 3 people to play with your shuttle without any protection? I don't think so...
     
  18. extremenanopowe

    extremenanopowe Regular Member

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    The government today announced that it's changing the flag to a CONDOM, because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation,halts production,destroys the next generation,protects a bunch of dicks,and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed. It just doesn't get more accurate than that!!!
     
  19. extremenanopowe

    extremenanopowe Regular Member

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    HOLY HUMOUR

    A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"
    His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?
    The son replied, "I do know!"
    "Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"
    "That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly," It stands for *'Basic
    Information Before Leaving Earth*.'

    =======

    There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.
    "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.
    "Only the Ten Commandments!!" answered the lady.

    ========

    "Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say,
    "Good Lord, it's morning."

    ========

    A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter.
    Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."
    When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."

    ========

    There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."

    ========

    A teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"
    A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy.
    "Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked.
    "You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... "

    ========

    A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.
    "Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."
    The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."


    ========

    People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention.

    ========

    The parish priest was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute.
    The substitute wanted to know what to play.
    "Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."
    During the service, the parish priest paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, *please stand up!*"
    At that moment, the substitute organist played "The National Anthem"
    And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!

    =========*

    Give me a sense of humour, Lord,
    Give me the grace to see a joke,
    To get some humour out of life,
    And pass it on to other folk...!

    Have a Blessed and Wonderful Day - Always!
     
  20. pBmMalaysia

    pBmMalaysia Regular Member

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    The organist playing the national anthem is hilarious

    My whole family laugh ... :p
     

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