Hi. When I rally with my friends, I defend/play pretty good, however, when it comes to starting a game, I begin to get all pressured and do really bad. What things can I do to be less stressful and play my game as if I was just rallying with them?
Happy Thoughts! Try thinking happy thoughts! Tell yourself that this is an easy game and you'll play well! It really helps!
I used to "choke" a lot during tournaments and then play amazing after. So it's similar situation. After reading up a bit on sports psychology, I find that having a set routine before a serious match would help. Nowadays, whether I play for fun, play a serious game, play during tournaments, I will always listen to music while I warm up. Also, I would do some breathing exercises (similar to what boxers/mma fighters do in between rounds) to slow my heart rate if I do get a bit excited. Having a set routine like that helps your body get into the "zone". It is also a psychological "safety blanket". It will mentally prepare you to get intense without getting over anxious. Other athletes have been known to watch tv, read a book/newspaper, go on their phone, play electronic games etc... to get into the "zone".
perhaps you do better in rallying because the opponent is not trying to win but to keep the rally going? you think your under pressure but maybe thats your standard of play? try not rallying, but playing a proper game but without scoring (perhaps a set time 15mins), e.g. exactly same as a game, following service order etc. and see if you still feel under pressure. on the other hand, pressure is good. makes you better. just learn to embrace the feeling of pressure and use it to win. i often treat each point as a "1 point game" (playing 21 games of 1 point wins). i find this makes me move more, pick better shots, more consistent. you also dont worry if your 10-4 behind. you just play the next 1 pointer as if its all that matters.
I've mentioned this in a different post before but I don't think I've fully explained it... but here's the gist of it: First off, you'll need to know how to use your diaphragm to breathe (there are videos on youtube that'll help, most instructional videos are for singers/musicians but it's applicable to everyone). Then imagine each breath reaching the core of your body as you inhale (breathing as deep as you can). I imagine it as gathering all the "light" around me and focusing it into one tiny, bright ball of light at the core of my body (the tip of the sternum is where I envision). Hold the breath for a second or so (trying to control and contain the tiny ball of light). Then slowly exhale. When your body relaxes, I imagine the same ball of light slowly expanding, filling up the body and then when I truly exhale I contract my diaphragm to push as much air out as possible. When I'm "pushing" I imagine trying to expel all the light from inside my body and pushing it out. This is just one example. It's almost meditative when you do it this way. It actually requires a high level of concentration but when you can do it even in a noisy environment, you'll be successful at calming yourself down. A simpler version is "focus on your breathing". Mentally tracing out the path of each breath you take. The main thing is not to overly complicate the process. It's just to help your mind focus on something and clearing it of all other thoughts. Of course, it also helps lower your heart rate and filling your body with useful oxygen, both of which will do great things for your stamina. I hope this helps.
It doesn't sound like you're even playing in a tournament. So just try to relax and have fun. Don't think too much about win/loss in the end. Your friends might play better than you, and would probably beat you, but that is okay. The good thing is, they're still willing to play with you recreationally.
A lot of people actually forget how to breathe properly when they start playing tournaments. It's very simple: control your breathing when you play and always remember to empty your lungs out by the time you're ready to serve.
