Hello, this is my first post. Don't be too harsh to me. I become today a member to talk with other badminton people about my thoughts which put much pressure on me atm. My problem is so badminton related that other friends and mates can't help me to find a solution. I'm sorry for this wall of text, but I find it needful to understand my actual situation. Thanks for reading. I'm playing atm at a club and I'm a lower league player. I'm also the leader of the team, which isn't a problem for me and I do my work with joy. We played a mixed season with mixed results and had good and bad times. I'm partly satisfied with the performance of the team. We couldn't climb up the table but we also didn't decend. We are at position 4 of 8. Now the problems: 1) We are only 3 Men who can play most games. I never missed a game, but the other 2 because of family and vacation etc., which is okay for me. So I needed to find other men to compete the league games. The 4th guy was regular a random guy. Because of the wish of the other 2 men to play with a firm partner, which was my own wish, too to work on a partnership, I decided to take this pressure and play my MD with a random partner. This was a bad decision, because I played every league game with a foreign and mostly weaker guy and never had the possibilty to get a good chance to win. Don't get me wrong. We won around 40% of the MD matches but I felt never comfortable and save on the court. I don't want to blame my partners for the lost matches, but with a firm partner and some work on partnership we had the chance to win every games for a higher ranking. I got mostly the blame for the lost league games because I didn't won my games with ease. 2) We had the wife of our coach in our team. This wasn't IMO an advantage. She couldn't handle the review after every match of the WD and XD game and took it personal, which lead to drama and an angry coach. She couldn't take training and the league games serious because her husband spend a lot time for the club and she stayed at home with the kids. I had a fight with her, because I didn't choose her as firm player at the beginning. The coach was also angry with me for ignoring his wife. The other Woman and I were disappointed about the situation, because we rarely had the chance to train with her. We had the options to insert a better woman, who was 3 times/week at the training and the other woman and I can play very well with her, because she always try to work on herself and a partnership because she is a relaxed and focused person. I made due the social pressure the bad choice and advanced the wife of the coach for harmony issues because he took my decisions at the beginning as personal and against his family. I lost every XD game with her due her inexperienced play and we also lost 80% of the WD games. Actually I got a lot of blame for my lost games. From other club mates, from my own team and the coach. Especially for the XD games. I tried my best to work on a partnership for MD/XD but it failed because of random partners of the MD and a woman with a loose attitude. I'm not a so decent player to offset everything to win and wasn't comfortable during my games, because we never played as a unity with our full potential. If we did but lost, I would be happy. Tbh I don't have a specific question to solve this problems, because I know the solutions but can't execute them due the relation of wife and coach and a missed firm 4th man. Maybe somebody have an advice for me or a few nice words. I feel bad because my decisions regarding the team to avoid social conflicts and sad because I got the blame for my lost matches but gave 100%. I'm actually in the mood to leave the team and maybe the club, because I'm not happy. The mates are friendly and nice but this inner conflict, pressure and the lack of a partnership don't do me well. My mind feels sick. Thanks for reading. I need to write this down and tell somebody my burden. Every advice is welcome. Thanks alot. Alexej
If you're not playing professionally then it's not worth the hassle. Life is too short to be unhappy playing sport.
Agreed. As much as we all love badminton, there is so much more to life than just badminton. So don't lose sleep sweating the small stuff. If you are busy pleasing everyone, you are not being true to yourself
You have to decide for yourself what is more important to you, training/socializing or league games. If you are not happy anymore, try looking for other clubs before you leave.
Thanks for your replies. I couldn't imagine a life without playing badminton, yet. It plays a huge role since nearly a decade in my life and gave me so much. I hardly think that anything else could fill this hole atm. I agree that many other things will become one time more important like a wife and children, but at this moment of my life, it is important. Maybe I should work on myself and deal with the fact that it is bad for me to be everybody's darling and must accept that somebody will angry with me, when I make good decisions for the team and my own. I enjoy playing and training. The social structure of the club is maybe the problem and not badminton at all. Maybe I should move to another club, which came often to my mind or I quit playing league games and focus more on tournaments to have the competitive aspect but don't have such social conflicts with many different persons involved.
Feel sorry for your situation. We don't envy you. 2 things. First, make it known to the members and coach that you are not completely to blame for the situation and results. They must understand the handicaps you've been baggaged with. Second, if they don't understand, then that's when you know it's time to go somewhere else.
Politics - it's everywhere if there are more than several people in a group. It might help to have a AGM within the club to state what the purpose of the team should be, i.e. competitive or rotation. If it's competitive then it's the captain's decision on who they feel are the strongest pick. If I was in your position I would have confronted and say what I saw. If you record all the scores, you should then use it as evidence that the partnership isn't working. It's a touchy subject as there are people who are naive about their own ability but it must be done and there will always be new people wanting to join the club. Think long term for the club - everyone is replaceable. All the best.
It sounds like you're in a no-win situation (pardon the possible pun!). Seriously, if a club is giving you this much grief surely it's wise to consider moving to another, more hospitable one? There is no way people should be blaming you for poor results. There are evidently conflicts in the club with regard to partnering and the coach/his wife, etc. which means a difficult task for anyone picking teams. I think your club needs a meeting to clear the air and openly discuss the issues. There are friendly clubs everywhere which nurture good relations but also a few that are completely unfriendly, pseudo-political and with individual (sometimes spiteful) agendas. If the club is 'closed off' and you cannot resolve anything amicably because of certain individuals I suggest you leave them to muddle on in their own way. From what you've said it doesn't seem likely that you'll be appreciated for anything anyway. It just isn't worth continuing in an unhappy atmosphere. Some miserable people habitually create it.
Thanks for all posts. Actually I think there is no point for return. I actually don't feel happy in the team and don't play my league games with joy. I hate to play with people who have a loose setting. I decided to leave the team, without any options. I don't feel happy when I see some club mates today, this was a year ago different. I visited 2 clubs in my area, but in the first club they deported me to the beginners, where I won games to 5, 7 etc. Just one digit. The other people seems to be a plotted bunch. No way to get in. The 2nd Club was friendly but not my level and difficult to reach. Just recreational and 90 minutes per week. Not worthy. It's a dilemma, because Badminton is not popular in my country and I don't want to travel several times per week to the next city. Actually it seems to quit Badminton. I have a good friend, whose club is looking for male Players at my level, but additional 60 minutes for one way is an overkill for me. I would drive longer than playing. Ouch. Thanks.
