MarketWizard
Regular Member
I understand this might be a bit sensitive... and to some people, I might be coming off rather abrasive or like an ass, so I'm prepared to take the snarky comments, but I'm sure some people have experienced something similar to this at one point or another so I'm seeking advice from people who were successful. And a little disclaimer... YES, I get that this sounds a bit high schoolish. I know, I know... but seriously I want to play with people who I want to play with and I tried to send signals in both a subtle way and a mean way and nothing gets through to this guy. So here goes.
The only badminton around me is open play badminton. For the past couple of months, there's one guy (let's call him F) who keeps inviting himself in my group of badminton buddies. His skill level is not as good as ours and he slows down our doubles games considerably with his poor shot quality. And I guess I could tolerate that to some extent if he was really trying to improve and I could see him get better, but he has very bad badminton etiquette so I dislike him as a player and as a person too. I'm sure people are wondering what I mean so an explanation is deserved.
He's extremely stingy with shuttles. He'll try and find used feather shuttles in the practice shuttle bin and pass it off as one of his when it's his turn to contribute. The shuttles he does have are of lower quality as well. But in addition to that, he's very apprehensive about using them. And when he does take a shuttle of his tube, he makes a point sometimes to announce he's contributing like he's being generous. When he misses a shot and it hits the net, he won't even bother flicking the shuttle back to his opponent and makes someone else get it. I have to stand there and point to the shuttle most of the times.
I've been trying to distance myself from him and emit a vibe of "leave me alone" but he just doesn't get the message because he's socially awkward. And this continuous "inviting himself in" today set me over the edge and I think I displayed pretty strong vibes that he's not welcome but he still doesn't get it.
So anyways me and one of the guys I'm relatively close to (let's call him A) were the last 2 people to leave the hall today because we were playing singles pretty late. As I'm wrapping up my stuff, A asks me "so I wanted to ask you, why do you dislike F so much? Your face was very expressive about how much you dislike him today. "
I was very hesitant to say because if I answer like this: 1) he's stingy with shuttles 2) he doesn't flick the shuttle back after he misses 3) he's not at our skill level... It makes me look a bit petty... Because I get it.. F does petty things and if I retaliate and be petty, then I'm just as immature one could argue... So I kinda just beat around the bush a bit...
But then A starts telling me some stories that makes F look way more weird and dislikeable than I could have imagined him to be, and A tells me they F is getting in his nerves too.
A told me that F said I'm not better than F. I played one single game today with F just to shut him up because he keeps asking, and I was up 14-4 at one point and just didn't play seriously after that. I let him catch up a bit but beat him 21-15 in the end. But F told A that he could have beat me by 10 points but he's just not giving it his full effort. What the hell? I'm not mad that he's hurting my badminton ego. I'm mad that he's saying some blatant lie, and A even said how stupid and childish he sounds. A knows how bad F is.
In addition to the last weird story, A also went on to further tell me another one. A said that F messaged him on Whatsapp last Wednesday to ask A if he's going to play that day. A replied he's going to play and was on his way to the badminton hall, but didn't specify that A was specifically going there to play singles against me. So F wanted to play too, but we kinda just ignored him when he was watching us, and we kept rotating sides after each game so that it wouldn't give F a chance to join in. F eventually played doubles with some other people that day, but the funny thing is, A told me that F complained to A because he specifically stopped eating his dinner and rushed over to the hall but he didn't get a chance to play.
There's a few more stories A told me but that would just make this post too long, but I did want to say one more thing A told me. F was bragging to A that he has some inside hookup to the factory that manufactures Yonex shuttles and that his unbranded shuttles are actually Yonex shuttles. Like WTF, what a weirdo. Who does these kind of things? 8 year old pathological liars? and who cares what the freaking brand is as long as the flight is good, but no, the shuttle feeling is far from Yonex standards.
I seriously feel like ripping my hair when I heard all that crap A said. The only reason why I probably never heard this crap was because I distance myself from F because he weirds me out, but A is a bit of a softy in some ways and doesn't want to be direct like me.
So anyways, in summary, nobody in my group likes him, he's socially awkward, he doesn't get the cues I'm giving him. And while me and A were in the parking lot, we both agreed that it's really difficult to tell him to piss off because that makes us look petty and immature. F didn't do anything that crossed the line in a major way, so telling him to take a hike will make the atmosphere weird and it'll be hard to interact with other people who we mutually know because he'll be there etc etc etc. So what do I do? Just bite the bullet and tell him to find someone else to play with, or is there a tactical way to get through to some of these people who are socially awkward that can't take the hint?
And just playing games and continously rotating probably won't work. He'll most definitely ask to join after we finish a game, and I don't think anyone has it in them to say "No".
The only badminton around me is open play badminton. For the past couple of months, there's one guy (let's call him F) who keeps inviting himself in my group of badminton buddies. His skill level is not as good as ours and he slows down our doubles games considerably with his poor shot quality. And I guess I could tolerate that to some extent if he was really trying to improve and I could see him get better, but he has very bad badminton etiquette so I dislike him as a player and as a person too. I'm sure people are wondering what I mean so an explanation is deserved.
He's extremely stingy with shuttles. He'll try and find used feather shuttles in the practice shuttle bin and pass it off as one of his when it's his turn to contribute. The shuttles he does have are of lower quality as well. But in addition to that, he's very apprehensive about using them. And when he does take a shuttle of his tube, he makes a point sometimes to announce he's contributing like he's being generous. When he misses a shot and it hits the net, he won't even bother flicking the shuttle back to his opponent and makes someone else get it. I have to stand there and point to the shuttle most of the times.
I've been trying to distance myself from him and emit a vibe of "leave me alone" but he just doesn't get the message because he's socially awkward. And this continuous "inviting himself in" today set me over the edge and I think I displayed pretty strong vibes that he's not welcome but he still doesn't get it.
So anyways me and one of the guys I'm relatively close to (let's call him A) were the last 2 people to leave the hall today because we were playing singles pretty late. As I'm wrapping up my stuff, A asks me "so I wanted to ask you, why do you dislike F so much? Your face was very expressive about how much you dislike him today. "
I was very hesitant to say because if I answer like this: 1) he's stingy with shuttles 2) he doesn't flick the shuttle back after he misses 3) he's not at our skill level... It makes me look a bit petty... Because I get it.. F does petty things and if I retaliate and be petty, then I'm just as immature one could argue... So I kinda just beat around the bush a bit...
But then A starts telling me some stories that makes F look way more weird and dislikeable than I could have imagined him to be, and A tells me they F is getting in his nerves too.
A told me that F said I'm not better than F. I played one single game today with F just to shut him up because he keeps asking, and I was up 14-4 at one point and just didn't play seriously after that. I let him catch up a bit but beat him 21-15 in the end. But F told A that he could have beat me by 10 points but he's just not giving it his full effort. What the hell? I'm not mad that he's hurting my badminton ego. I'm mad that he's saying some blatant lie, and A even said how stupid and childish he sounds. A knows how bad F is.
In addition to the last weird story, A also went on to further tell me another one. A said that F messaged him on Whatsapp last Wednesday to ask A if he's going to play that day. A replied he's going to play and was on his way to the badminton hall, but didn't specify that A was specifically going there to play singles against me. So F wanted to play too, but we kinda just ignored him when he was watching us, and we kept rotating sides after each game so that it wouldn't give F a chance to join in. F eventually played doubles with some other people that day, but the funny thing is, A told me that F complained to A because he specifically stopped eating his dinner and rushed over to the hall but he didn't get a chance to play.
There's a few more stories A told me but that would just make this post too long, but I did want to say one more thing A told me. F was bragging to A that he has some inside hookup to the factory that manufactures Yonex shuttles and that his unbranded shuttles are actually Yonex shuttles. Like WTF, what a weirdo. Who does these kind of things? 8 year old pathological liars? and who cares what the freaking brand is as long as the flight is good, but no, the shuttle feeling is far from Yonex standards.
I seriously feel like ripping my hair when I heard all that crap A said. The only reason why I probably never heard this crap was because I distance myself from F because he weirds me out, but A is a bit of a softy in some ways and doesn't want to be direct like me.
So anyways, in summary, nobody in my group likes him, he's socially awkward, he doesn't get the cues I'm giving him. And while me and A were in the parking lot, we both agreed that it's really difficult to tell him to piss off because that makes us look petty and immature. F didn't do anything that crossed the line in a major way, so telling him to take a hike will make the atmosphere weird and it'll be hard to interact with other people who we mutually know because he'll be there etc etc etc. So what do I do? Just bite the bullet and tell him to find someone else to play with, or is there a tactical way to get through to some of these people who are socially awkward that can't take the hint?
And just playing games and continously rotating probably won't work. He'll most definitely ask to join after we finish a game, and I don't think anyone has it in them to say "No".
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