How to deal with annoying teammate?

Discussion in 'General Forum' started by Orbughlu, Jun 13, 2020.

  1. Orbughlu

    Orbughlu New Member

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    So I play badminton at a competitive level so I try to get better and better all the time. I enjoy literally every aspect of badminton. Its just super fun. But lately I havent been performing the best and Ive been trying to get better. I go quite often to my clubs groups/sessions but thats not enough for me so I go sometimes to play/ train in my spare time but the problem is that the person who i go to train with is one person from my club and not to be mean or anything I just cant stand this person a second anymore. This said person insists of being my partner in the club sessions and wants to be my partner in doubles. Lately I havent been enjoying badminton as much as before because of said person.
    I only go and play/train with the person because there are literally no other people to go nad play with in my area. And if I dont play/train then how can I get better. I cant concentrate and enjoy because that person is in my groups all the time but I cant just kick the peron out of the group. All the other peple think Im that person friends but noooo.
    I just cant get rid of that person because the person goes to the same club the saem groups and the same competition. Its driving me insane. Finding a new training partner would solve the problem but there just arent anyother people.
    Sorry if I wrote it messily.
    Any advice would be grand.
    I dont want to be mean with that person but you know people cant get along always with every single person.
    Again disclamer I dont want to be rude or anything but thats the truth.
     
  2. Budi

    Budi Regular Member

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    What makes you hate him?
    His attitude? His skill?

    Why no others want to play with you? Maybe you want to look on yourself, maybe you didnt realize it, thinking its normal, but your normal might not as normal as other thinking. Maybe they get anoyed by you to.
     
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  3. deepinthemusic

    deepinthemusic Regular Member

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    Jeeeeezus no offense but you sound like a girl mate, just kidding lol. Imho it sounded like youre stuck with that person whether you like it or not. I once read a story about kevin and marcus barely talking and never hang out together outside badminton court. Maybe you can learn something from that. From what you said above, none of your problem is badminton related. Maybe he also stuck with you whether he likes it or not, lol.
     
  4. Orbughlu

    Orbughlu New Member

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    Hmmmm thats true.... Probably its just me
     
  5. LenaicM

    LenaicM Regular Member

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    We don't know the whole story and the context but since it seems you don't have much partners to choose from and you want to consider badminton seriously, simply take it "professionally". Play with that person like you would be working with him/her. Get the job done, focus on yourself and your progression, drill with that person seriously and keep a certain distance between the both of you. Talk about badminton but don't engage about other topics. Simply put, stay polite but distant and solely focus on badminton. You'll grow out as the better person in life, regardless who is the "bad" guy in that relationship and be able to keep practicing your badminton skills.
     
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  6. ucantseeme

    ucantseeme Regular Member

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    I think you should be sure what you want. If you take Badminton serious, you will meet alot of weird, strange, arrogant, toxic, disrespectful, unfriendly people, partner, coaches... I don't play to make friends. I have friends. I want to improve. If it is a boring exercise, I will do, if it is a drill which I hate, I will do. If I need to travel, I will do. If I need to learn from people I don't like I will do. If I play a better doubles with a person I don't like much, than with a person which I like much, I will always choose the first. I also have limits. If the person disturbs and disrespect me more than I will get advantages and lessons to learn, I would react like you.

    I recommend two things:

    Write down a list about the person, which disturbs you and what will be the benefits to play and train together/are there better or worse options. Be careful and honest to yourself. Give everything points from 1-10. E.g. I hate him, I wish him death to I can take it or I will profit from that very well to there are close to none benefits. At the End you will have a score on both columns. Be sure what you look for. Friends or improvements.

    Second thing pick the topic which disturbs you the most. Since you play doubles, communication is something you should learn. Ask him (alone) why he do this or that and why he insist to play with, because you have the impression you don't like each other. You will learn a lesson for your life that not everything is like it seems.
     
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  7. deepinthemusic

    deepinthemusic Regular Member

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    Lol cant agree more about the "i will do" part, but write down a list about a person, like for real? Thats like serial murderer kinda things to do, no?
     
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  8. LenaicM

    LenaicM Regular Member

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    :eek::p that's pretty extreme yes! But some good points from @ucantseeme too. :)
     
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  9. LenaicM

    LenaicM Regular Member

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    Agreed, and it's not only valid for badminton but life overall. But yes, me too I play to progress and whenever I want a friendly match I actually play in my smaller local club with people I know a bit better but whenever I want to train, that is 95% of the time, I couldn't care less if the players are nice or not. But I play singles so it's very different. I assume having a good relationship with your double partner is ideal.
     
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  10. ucantseeme

    ucantseeme Regular Member

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    The intention behind this is following: We often see things black and white. I hate him/ I like him. IMO a lot people you meet at work, neighbours, clubs, school whatever are maybe not the person who you like, which doesn't mean automatically that you hate them. It's just a kind of reframing a whole situation instead of putting the focus on the negative aspects in an exagarated way. But I had a good laugh about the serial killer part. :D I make often lists to make decisions or give a situation a different point of view to rate them.
     
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  11. LenaicM

    LenaicM Regular Member

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    Well if it works for you and as long as your friends and foes don't see that list... hehe why not!
     
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  12. Magwitch

    Magwitch Regular Member

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    Seems clear this person isn't your doubles partner in comp. You might want to be assertive at the club about playing some matches with other players. Either that or the more wussy option of often walking on court and joining someone else.
     
  13. Budi

    Budi Regular Member

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    I think its all depend on how we look at it.
    I had a friend in club that is to lazy to grow & his motivation basically is to have some sweat.
    Some people hate to partner with him as he had no skill nor motivation to win. Tho most of us doesnt care for winning or not but we all seek for competitive games.
    For me, i see it this way. I challange myself how to win partnered with those lazy player, afterall we balance the team right, im not going to face 2 high level demon as opponent.
     
  14. ucantseeme

    ucantseeme Regular Member

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    @Budi I always skip wellness players. Regardless if partners or opponents. In Badminton I like to be surrounded by people who have the same goals. It pushs myself and motivate at the same time.

    In training I like to get feed my shuttles from a specific person. We don't like each other and off court and as doubles partner he is a disrespectful person who like to blaspheme about everybody, but he is a superb multifeeder for some drills at high pace and says seldom no.
     
  15. Arielle19

    Arielle19 New Member

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    Perhaps it is the practice itself that is the cause. It should be seen closely.
     
  16. ralphz

    ralphz Regular Member

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    So he insists on being your partner in club sessions and you don't want that.

    So you can tell him that for variety you want to try playing with different people.

    And if he replies that he wants to play with just you. Then just say it again to him that you want to try playing with different people for variety

    And if he insists again then you can say you told him.

    And if he insists again, then maybe you are not assertive enough!

    What if he was wasn't asking you to play badminton and was making crazy requests. You can give a good reason why not, and the reason needn't mean you don't like them as a person!
     
    #16 ralphz, Jul 31, 2020 at 11:10 AM
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2020 at 2:18 PM

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