I've twisted around the facts here to give this joke a G-PG rating and a badminton theme, but here it goes: Three brothers, one a dairy farmer, one a poultry farmer and one who owns an olive orchard, have been lamenting for weeks that their wives won't let them buy new badminton racquets. One day, the dairy farmer shows up at their badminton league sporting a shiny new racquet and a big grin. His brothers eagerly ask him "how were you able to get the new racquet?" "Well," he states, "it occurred to me that if I did something really nice for my wife, she might let me have a new toy, so I gave her a massage with some fresh creamery butter, she moaned with pleasure for five minutes and said I could get a new $75 racquet." "That's a great idea! I'm going to try it," exclaimed the olive farmer. At their next league night, the olive-growing brother showed up with a really big grin and a new, even nicer racquet. He explained: "I gave my wife a massage with some fine, aged olive oil, she moaned and gasped with pleasure for 20 minutes and told me I could buy a new $125 racquet." The third brother, the poultry farmer, agreed that he would try this sure-fire method for getting a new toy. However, at the next league night, he walks in looking miserable, with just his gym bag. His brothers quickly ask him if he didn't try giving his wife a massage and if it worked. "I tried it all right," the poultry farmer sighed. "I gave my wife a massage with warm chicken fat and she moaned and screamed for six straight hours." "Six straight hours! Bravo!" shouted one brother. The other inquired in awe, "Just what exactly did you do? Where is your new racquet?" The chicken-farming brother sadly explained, as he pulled his old racquet, broken in half, from his bag, "After we were done, she caught me wiping my hands on her new curtains."