The obsessive badminton player and his unhappy girlfriend, help!!

Discussion in 'General Forum' started by gingerphil79, Jan 13, 2010.

  1. gingerphil79

    gingerphil79 Regular Member

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    Has your obsession with badminton ruined your relationship??

    Long story short, my girlfriend hates me playing badminton. Even broke up with me few times saying I play too much and she didn't want a part time boyfriend.

    Sometimes she is fine with it, if I miss a few club nits to see her but I just have got myself one on one coaching with a great player. He is going to see me once to twice a week. I told her about this and she said about me being better of single and playing badminton. All I will say is we did have a massive fight yesterday so maybe she is still just pissed of from that.

    How do you guys deal with really wanting to play badminton and your girlfriends/boyfriends??
     
  2. krisss

    krisss Regular Member

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    Best solution is to get a girlfriend/boyfriend who plays badminton :).
     
  3. Cheung

    Cheung Moderator

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    I'd say this girl is basically trying to get you to choose her or the badminton.

    Which one will make you happier longterm?

    If you married, her, do you really think you would be able to play more badminton?

    How difficult/easy is it to get a good coach in your area?



    I am frankly rather shocked that a girl would ask a guy to give up his badminton.
     
    #3 Cheung, Jan 13, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2010
  4. luv2play

    luv2play New Member

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    i agree...if it's always gonna be like this everytime u wanna play badminton...well what can ya do..?....maybe talk to her about it and tell her that badminton is very important to you and sorry you can't spend more time with her...talk it over and see what she says about it...if it still doesn't work out then i guess it all comes down to should i give up the love of badminton for the love of my girlfriend..? or give up the love of my girlfriend for the love of badminton..? (but its up to you...whatever u think.. =P)
     
  5. chris-ccc

    chris-ccc Regular Member

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    Give up Badminton or give up your girlfriend

    .
    It's decisions, decisions.

    If your girlfriend says to you to give up Badminton, then you either give up Badminton or give up your girlfriend. ;););)
    .
     
  6. visor

    visor Regular Member

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    Either that, or show your current g/f how fun badminton is and get her interested. She'll resist, but just gently persist. Of course, that would mean that you'll have to play social games with her when she's there. Or if she has other interests or hobbies, you can encourage her to pursue them more... so that you can have your separate time.
     
  7. gingerphil79

    gingerphil79 Regular Member

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    The funny thing is she does play but she jus isnt great at it and for her its jus a bit of fun.

    She hates the club I play in on tues night. 1 of the guys there is what she calls cocky and she said he was making a bit of fun of her and making her feel like he was better than her, all I could see was he was giving tips maybe in a jokey way but he was just having all round fun with every1. This was the problem last night. She said she definitely wont be back at that club!!

    With regards to its either her or the badminton. She doesnt want me to give it up completely, just play a lot less of it. I want to be the best I can be, its an ambition of mines!! I just found a top notch coach and player in my area, I had been looking long time and I really just wanna play my best. But I know to a certain level she isnt thrilled about it!!
     
  8. adidascanada

    adidascanada Regular Member

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    Especially one who is skilled and likes playing XD....:p
     
  9. ants

    ants Regular Member

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    Depending on how obsessive you are. If you are just a normal lad who plays regular baddie and not sleep think dream of badminton all the time... then dump your gf. However if you have more badminton than her... then.. that is a problem there.
     
  10. lcleing

    lcleing Regular Member

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    Just my 2 cents.

    Use the soft approach I say...

    I don't think many women like men who do not do sport, so playing the sport is not the issue here but the way you juggle between your relationship and sport. When girls are hot in their heads, you need time to cool them down. However reasonable she is, once she got frustrated with something, you will find that she will turned into the most nasty thing you ever deal with in your life. She might not deliberately think that way but when she see you spend more time in badminton she will lead herself to think that you love the sport more than her. And I doubt many women(women are obsessive) can put up with that thought.

    I think there's a win win situation to it but the problem is whether you are patient enough to do this. You can try to compromise by spending less time in badminton for the first few weeks(for a month or 2). During that time, show more affection to her by treating her better than usual(cook good food for her, going out to enjoy what she likes during weekends)/ Try to spoil her a little if you can while only playing badminton once a week(I suggest you go just for the training). Once you assured her that you actually love her(yes, most women feel insecure when they are in a relationship) by spending more time with her, believe me, she will feel guilty and will eventually give in(if she is reasonable enough) if you gently request to her that you need a little more time in badminton(gradually increase the frequency, dont rush).

    You might feel awful for not being able to play as frequent during that 1-2 months but hear me out. This action serves 3 purposes:

    1. To get rid of all the bad habits you have when playing social badminton.
    -since you only go for training now during that 2 months. It's easier for you brush up your techniques and "unlearn" all the bad strokes.
    2. To give her time to cool down and reassure her that you are serious in this realtionship
    3. To give you time to discover new things that both of you enjoy doing together so you will think of badminton less when you guys are going out together.


    If she being unreasonable and not letting you play any after all the time you spend with her. I will ask you to think twice whether you could possibly bear spending your whole life with an unreasonable woman. If your answer is no, probably is time to move on(it's just my opinion) and look for another suitable partner. Hope this help.
     
  11. Fan888

    Fan888 Regular Member

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    I don' think you are at the either/or decision time yet.

    From your last post, sounds to me she hates "the club" and "that cocky guy" more than because you play badminton. True? No? Somewhat? Maybe? Think about this. Did you "defend" her or standing on her side when she was being "made fun of"? Are you as good or better than "that cocky guy"? If yes, show her how you'll beat him bad to revenge for her :) Otherwise, you need more coaching so you will beat him. Win-win right?

    I have noticed a lot of time when someone (e.g. gf, kids) isn't as good ended up sitting, waiting, and often not even watching, but definitely bored. The persons playing and battling do not notice how long the games have been. Make sure you spend enough time with her, bring her in part of the game, or not show up to practice at all.

    Ultimately, you need to decide and cave up the time for girlfriend and time for badminton. Like lcleing said, do a little extra and make her feel more special when you are with her. So, it is not just the amount of time being with her, but the quality of those time.

    Hope the compromise with work. Or the hop that her boyfriend (you) winning a big tournament might help. Good luck!
     
  12. Random-person1

    Random-person1 New Member

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    ants has a good point, what do you think of more during a regular day?
    her or badminton? :eek:
     
  13. bananakid

    bananakid Regular Member

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    Save yourself those coaching fees since you will have plenty of time for you to train your wrist inside closed doors if you are dumb enough to choose badminton over girl.:rolleyes:
     
  14. Alom

    Alom Regular Member

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    Hahaha :D:D:D Great advice :p

     
  15. druss

    druss Regular Member

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    This is a situation that occurs quite often with many hobbies/sports. You didn't just take up badminton recently did you? So she knew when she started going out with you how much you enjoyed it and your commitment.

    Remember that it's not just you making a choice, she also has to make a choice. Relationships are about compromise in many situations but both sides must be willing to make that compromise, it should not be all one party doing so.

    I also have noticed that many women have this need to "remake" their boyfriends into something they are more happy with while most men are happy enough with their girlfriends the way they are. Why is that? Compromise on choosing a car, a house, vacation location... etc. but to ask someone to give up their passion is unreasonable, after all, she knew about it before you started going out.

    I do agree that more effort should be made to do more of the things that she is interested in outside of badminton as well as encouraging her to do hobbies with her friends while you're playing badminton.
     
  16. cooler

    cooler Regular Member

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    a banana knows:p
     
  17. danielwong

    danielwong Regular Member

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    Help me as well

    But women will always be women...i am married and only play badminton
    one day per week...the only day I play is sunday and 3 hours...but she still complain....request me to play 2 hours enough....:cool::cool::cool:
     
  18. visor

    visor Regular Member

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    Yah, same boat here...
    marriage is the ultimate in negotiations and compromises.:D

    If I'm generally helpful with the kids and chores around the house, she gives me more leeway.:D
     
  19. Yoppy

    Yoppy Regular Member

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    I thought I was alone in this world. Turns out at least there are two guys on this thread fealt what i fealt wkwkwk.....
     
  20. gamepurpose

    gamepurpose Regular Member

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    If it's a must i say quit badminton, or play once in a while whenever she can't be around you. Of course, if she is actually THE ONE.
    Long term is more important than short term. Married will be 50? 60 years?
    Badminton, if you play hard core do your very best everytime, body break down, slowly play a little less agreesive... i'll say 10-15 years.
    And when you hit that age where both of you're knees are destroyed by moving around too quick in the court. my white friend always said "XIN LOI" (in english sorry)
     

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