The obsessive badminton player and his unhappy girlfriend, help!!

Discussion in 'General Forum' started by gingerphil79, Jan 13, 2010.

  1. Cheung

    Cheung Moderator

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    I think this is a good point. What is important in his life? You shouldn't tell him what is important for him, he will decide what is important for himself. After all, it's his life and decision.

    As for daughter's aspect, you must be asian descent for that opinion.:) I think the girlfriend will make her own decision rather than her parents:D
     
  2. Cheung

    Cheung Moderator

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    This can be applied to any hobby. Different people have different place different values on the same thing. Bananakid doesn't place much value on badminton as a serious hobby. Yet other people can place great value on it vastly improving their quality of life.
     
    #82 Cheung, Jan 16, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2010
  3. druss

    druss Regular Member

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    Wow, is BK the father of the daughter or something? Give it a break, want to rag on someones ass go find the dumb ass punks who hang out at the mall, pick on little kids and are a general negative impact on society.

    Personally, I'd rather have my kid be involved with badminton than many other things I see people between 16 and 25 do.

    And finally, it's NOT UP TO US to choose his life for him. Get off your high horse and let other people make their own decisions. I don't even know why you started talking about career and family... the question was quite simple.

    Does this in some way relate to a previous experience of yours? Because you seem to be taking it very personally.

    I'm sure the other side of the story is getting quite enough air time on twitter or something with all of her friends.
     
  4. cooler

    cooler Regular Member

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    IMO, there are no right answers. Individual path is their own choosing. If we don't pursue our dream, then when we r old and walking with a cane, we would regret what we didn't do. However we can't chase every dreams, we only have limited resources and time on earth. U just have to rank them base on your life experience and inputs from external sources. Only u know what is best for u.
     
  5. druss

    druss Regular Member

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    exactly... apparently though bananakid knows what's best for all of us.
     
  6. cooler

    cooler Regular Member

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    everybody here gave their opinions here, it's up to the receiver decide how to use them.
     
  7. visor

    visor Regular Member

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    Not particularly directed at cooler or anyone else, but in general, I don't understand why everyone is all getting heated up and worked up in discussing this topic. We're just giving our opinions, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

    Of course, the OP will weigh his choices himself and decide for himself what he should do at this point in his life and in his relationship! It's not as if we're taking a poll and he has to do what the majority says...:rolleyes:
     
  8. chris-ccc

    chris-ccc Regular Member

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    Everyone is entitled to their own opinions

    .
    Agree. :):):)
    Our life is too short (averaging 80 years?, some say).

    So why not just enjoy life?; Be it, hobbies, work, money, time, food, relationship, passion, Badminton, etc...

    Why spend our time just to earn money? Why think of just relationship? Why think of just Badminton? etc...

    If we have the essentials (food, water, shelter, warm clothing, etc...), let's enjoy our Badminton. :D
    .
     
    #88 chris-ccc, Jan 17, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2010
  9. visor

    visor Regular Member

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    Agree. I know you wrote "etc" but you missed out "love", which is pretty important.... imho, of course.... :p :)
     
    #89 visor, Jan 17, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2010
  10. gingerphil79

    gingerphil79 Regular Member

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    With regards to money, I am fine, good job, live at home, nice wee car, np money wise.

    She is trying to spite me a wee bit by being busy at weekends when I am free. She is big into running (jogging) so she is going to this lot more often but with regards to us working out, I dont know. Right now, we are just sort of texting abit but thats it.

    For now am picking badminton all the way. Her and I have had very on off relationship and we used to always fight every week or so. Badminton makes me happy, I love the thought of every day because I get to go play badminton after work. I do enjoy seeing her too but I wanna do this. Im young and fit and now is the time to see how far I can take this, not 10 - 20 years down the line. Am not saying i'll become international but I enjoy playing competitive badminton, I enjoy playing in general.

    With regards to the woman, I really dont care anymore what happens. My guess is it wont work out and am fine with that. I want a woman who wants to support my dream rather than hate me playing it with a passion.
     
  11. chris-ccc

    chris-ccc Regular Member

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    I want a woman who wants to support my dream

    .
    IMHO, This is wise thinking:
    I want a woman who wants to support my dream rather than hate me playing it with a passion.
    .
     
  12. Cheung

    Cheung Moderator

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    Very sensible. I think the majority will follow your decision.
     
  13. luv2play

    luv2play New Member

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    wow..after reading all the posts..that's a great final decision...i agree with you 100%...i hope i will be able to make a choice like that with my life in my situation too heheh...thnx for inspiration :p
     
  14. gingerphil79

    gingerphil79 Regular Member

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    Cheers mate. So far, she has thought about it and has accepted it. Plus she is trying to make time at the weekend for me but we shall see how it goes. Hopefully will see her all sat and sunday so happy days :D

    FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE, YOU DONT WANT TO LOOK BACK AND HAVE REGRETS

    or atleast do as much as you can do and if it doesnt work out, atleast ur able to say, "I worked my butt off!", and say "I couldnt have done any more" At least u will have tried knowing you did your best

    And with regards to the woman, if she really is the right 1 for you, she will want u to be happy and she will support your dream
     
  15. ctjcad

    ctjcad Regular Member

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    ^^What can i say..^^

    ..YOU DA MAN, gingerphil79!:cool:
     
  16. Cheung

    Cheung Moderator

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    Exactly the same as I did some years ago..

    And see how things work out.:)
     
  17. cheekygen

    cheekygen Regular Member

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    Hi gingerphil79,

    Just my humble opinion...

    People play badminton for various reasons.... some for passion, health, networking, dream & ambition, fame, fortune etc. You have a deep desire and passion to excel in badminton but why? You have to be clear of the underlying reason why you want to pursue a higher level in badminton. Perhaps it is an ambition, a challenge or a dream, but you must first explore the unconscious reason why. Does winning makes you feel good and on top of the world? Are you trying to prove something, to impress or you want to gain respect, approval, attention, fame from your community or peers? Some people want to win because it proves their self worthiness, to show the world that I'm good. Or, is there any particular incidents/person that spur your desire and passion in badminton?

    Playing competitively requires a lots of sacrifice and discipline. I would say if you want to challenge yourself to a higher level, you got to find someone who is supportive and understand your dreams and desire. At the end of the day, when you lost a match, you wouldn't want your gf to come over and tell you "See, told you so.... you deserve it... LOSER!" ... Badminton can be a medium to improve relationship when your partner is supportive. There are ups and downs in the journey of badminton career. If you got the supports from your love ones that no matter you win or lose, you are still their champion, you are half way through your challenge. That's the power of the support system that you need to persevere during the hard times. However, if your partner is not supportive, even if you win, you are not as joyful and happy as you can't share the glory with her.

    It's a positive sign that your gf is taking initiative to compromise and it shows that she values the relationship as much as you do. All the best!
     
    #97 cheekygen, Jan 21, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2010
  18. gingerphil79

    gingerphil79 Regular Member

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    Ive never been good at any sport and this is the 1 sport which I was anyway decent at but I love playing it. It makes me happy to play and improve. I love competing and getting tough games. Am trying to prove something to myself more than anything else. I want to get better at it. I know I can do it esp now I have a coach. I want to reach the next grade and win a tournament at the end of this season (3 months) left. I just love playing, I love the adrenaline rush, I love hitting the shuttle back line to back line, I love jump smashing. I feel like its kind of a dance when I play esp singles. It makes me feel good in general.
     
  19. luv2play

    luv2play New Member

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    that is just like mee xD....badminton is the only sport i ever found that has so many strategies to it and techniques than just physical strength and power..so different from the other sports i also enjoy...it just keeps me interested and esp. knowing that once you've mastered a certain technique..it will really help develop ur skill and level of play in games...i just think it's FUNN...but sometimes i find that i get annoyed when trying to master these seemingly simple techniques...practice makes perfect but i am not very PATIENT!! :p i feel that i am not improving fast enough..esp. since i only get to practice once a week right now..hopefully more soon...:(.my goal is to compete in a tournament nxt january that my team and i decided to drop out of this year bcuz of it being too rushed..we all agreed we needed to practice more w/ each other and see where we are at...i also wanted to see where i am at in my level of play and competition right now along with my doubles partner before i go into anything serious as i want to be able to do my best and be very prepared when the tournament comes around again...also cuz i am not sure how consistent me and my partner can be as we haven't done much competing besides at our school districts...
     
  20. visor

    visor Regular Member

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    Ahhhhh, to be young and carefree again...:)
     

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