here are some links and sites I find usefull, I will also copy paste some gold ones https://www.competitivedge.com http://www.badmintonsecrets.com http://www.sportspsychologycoaching.com
https://www.competitivedge.com/getting-mentally-tough 1. Is your head preventing you from becoming a winner? 2. Do you suffer from slumps, choking, psych-outs, runaway emotions, negativity or a lack of confidence? 3. Do you perform better in practice than at “crunch time” when it counts the most? 4. Do you consistently underachieve in your performance arena? the individual performer or team that falls apart most often does so because of mental factors like runaway nervousness, intimidation, poor concentration, negativity, lack of confidence or an inability to let go of mistakes or bad breaks. To realize your full potential you have to start training your mind as well as your body! you must learn to develop these sports psychology mental skills : 1. Staying relaxed under pressure, in what I call “good nervous.” 2. Focusing on what’s important and letting go of everything else. 3. Rebounding from mistakes, bad breaks and failures. 4. Handling last minute self-doubts and negative thinking. 5. Using mental rehearsal for upcoming performances. 6. Motivating yourself by setting personally meaningful and compelling goals. 7. Recognizing mental traps and avoiding them. 8. Developing self-confidence and a positive, go-for-it attitude.
https://www.competitivedge.com/rebounding-injuries-0 (with some cutting) If you’re a serious athlete and have ever had an experience with an injury, then you KNOW that the physical hurt you feel is only one VERY small part of the overall pain that you have to go through in the rehab process. The psychological pain caused by your injury and the temporary or permanent loss of your sport can be far more devastating than the strained or torn ligaments, pulled muscles, ripped cartilage or broken bones. you become overwhelmed by a variety of internal and external losses. As the athlete struggles with the impact of these losses, all hell breaks loose! If the injury is significant enough to keep you out of commission for a good chunk of time, the first thing that you lose is your identity as an athlete and team member. You lose your place and role on the team. "Identity confusion" sets in. Translated into understandable English, this means that you start to question who you are if you're not constantly in the pool, out on the field, course or court practicing and competing in your sport. ATHLETE STRATEGIES FOR COPING WITH INJURIES: #1 BE SAD - Allow yourself to mourn and feel whatever loss you are experiencing. Being "macho", "strong" or "brave" by burying or hiding your feelings in this situation is not only a WASTE OF ENERGY, but will interfere with you effectively coping and recovering. #2 DEAL WITH WHAT IS - Injured athletes have a tendency to focus on the "could 'a beens", "should 'a beens" and the "way it was" IF ONLY they hadn't gotten hurt. The fact of the matter is no amount of wishing upon a star will change the reality of your situation. #3 SET NEW, MORE REALISTIC GOALS FOR YOURSELF - As you begin the recovery process, you may very well have to learn to measure your successes very differently than ever before, perhaps in millimeters now instead of meters the way it was before your injury. Keep focused on your NEW goals and leave the old ones in the PAST for now where they belong. #4 MAINTAIN A POSITIVE ATTITUDE, NO MATTER WHAT – As difficult as this will be, try to stay as positive as possible. Understand that “IF IT IS TO BE, IT IS UP TO ME.” In other words, your attitude and outlook is ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING! It's all up to you. Avoid being negative because nothing good ever comes from negativity. Negativity will only bring you and everyone else around you down. #5 TAKE AN ACTIVE PART IN YOUR HEALING – Be conscientious about your physical therapy. Follow the doctor's advice closely. Don’t cut corners. Work as hard with your rehab as you did in your training. In addition, practice using healing imagery on a daily basis. this will make you feel less helpless, more in control and much more positive. These attitudinal changes in themselves will speed up your healing. #6 CONTINUE TO "PRACTICE" AND "WORK OUT". If your injury allows you to still continue any part of your training, do so! If not, "practice" mentally. Take this time to also mentally work on your weaknesses. You might even want to show up for some of the regular practices and mentally rehearse what the team is doing while they’re working out. #7 SEEK OUT THE SUPPORT OF YOUR TEAMMATES - FIGHT the urge to isolate yourself. You may feel worthless and suddenly different. The worst thing for you to do when you’re in a vulnerable state is to separate yourself from your group. Make a serious effort to reach out rather than pull in! #8 THINK ABOUT HOW TO USE YOUR SPORTS LEARNING AND EXPERIENCE IN OTHER AREAS OF YOUR LIFE - If your injury forces you into permanent retirement, you may feel that you have little to no skills or expertise that you can transfer from your sport to other endeavors. NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH! Don’t think for a minute that much of what you’ve learned and mastered is irrelevant to the “real world.” #9 IF NECESSARY, SEEK OUT A COUNSELOR- If you are really depressed for an extended period of time, have lost interest in things that use to excite you, have noticed that your sleep and eating patterns have changed and/or you are having suicidal thoughts, seek professional help! Don’t fool around here. Seeking out the help of a professional therapist or counselor is NOT a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it’s a sign of strength. #10 BE PATIENT– If your injury is temporary, allow yourself enough time to heal properly. If you're over anxious to get back to the court, field, course or pool and rush the healing process, then you may set yourself up for another, more serious injury which may cost you even more time. you may end up developing a chronic injury that could keep you out for extra weeks and even months. GO SLOWER, ARRIVE SOONER! COACHING STRATEGIES FOR HELPING THE INJURED ATHLETE COPE: #1 BE EMPATHIC- Let your athletes know that YOU understand what THEY are feeling and having to go through. Understand where their anger, frustration and disappointment comes from and allow them time to mourn. Do NOT expect them to just "suck it up", "shake it off and "be strong!" Instead, let them have their feelings without indulging them in self-pity. #2 WORK WITH THEIR SELF-ESTEEM - Understand that the injured athlete has just suffered a major blow to his feelings of self-worth and is therefore feeling quite vulnerable. Let him know in BOTH your actions and words that you still value him as a person, NOT just as an athlete. Do NOT avoid or act disinterested in that individual. Remember, it is YOUR responsibility to reach out to him, not vice versa. #3 GIVE THEM A ROLE ON THE TEAM- Help the injured athlete fight the their feelings of worthlessness and identity confusion by giving them another role on the team. Assign them a job as "assistant coach" or consultant into team functioning. Seek out their opinion and “advice” during practices or competitions. #4 DON’T ALLOW THE ATHLETE TO ISOLATE HIMSELF FROM THE TEAM - Insist that the athlete continue to function as an important member/part of the team. Assign other athletes on the squad to monitor the injured athlete's involvement and to intervene whenever that athlete begins to withdraw and/or isolate him/herself. #5 LET YOUR ATHLETE KNOW THAT YOU CARE – Increase contact and communication with the injured athletel. A little of your time at this point in the recovery process will dramatically help ease the emotional and psychological pain that the athlete is experiencing. #6 WHEN APPROPRIATE, EXPECT THE ATHLETE TO "PRACTICE" - Whether it’s limited physical or purely mental, let the injured athlete know that you expect her to continue her training, however modified. When possible, assign her a special workout that fits the limitation of her injury. Take an interest in her “training” and regularly check on how it’s going. #7 HELP THE ATHLETE GET IN TOUCH WITH OTHER AREAS OF PERSONAL STRENGTH - Help the injured athlete understand that excelling in her sport demands a tremendous amount of success and life skills that she has already developed and that she can learn to transfer to other areas in her life. Clearly spell out for her what these areas are and help her begin to see their application in other arenas. #8 IF THE ATHLETE'S DEPRESSION DOES NOT LIFT OR IF THERE ARE WARNING SIGNS IMMEDIATELY REFER HIM/HER TO A PROFESSIONAL- If the athlete is seriously depressed (has lost interest in activities, shows changes in eating and sleeping habits, or is having suicidal thoughts or feelings), it is critically important that you refer him/her for professional counseling. The eating/sleeping warning signs of depression must be taken very seriously.
https://www.competitivedge.com/reso...e-under-stress-11-guidelines-winning-coaching (with some cutting) Peak Performance Under Stress: 11 Guidelines for Winning Coaching INTRODUCTION Stress is a direct result of an athlete or team focusing on, and trying to control the "uncontrolables" within their sport (i.e., officiating, play of opponents, playing conditions, crowd, etc.). When an athlete focuses on these uncontrollables he/she is more likely to tighten up and "choke." STEP ONE COACH THE PROCESS, NOT THE OUTCOME When an athlete focuses on the importance of the game, winning and losing, or anything to do with the outcome of the performance, he/she is in big trouble. This focus distracts the athlete from a performance focus, tightens them up physically and insures that play will be tight and tentative. Get your athletes to focus on specifically what they have to DO to win, not on WINNING STEP TWO TEACH AN AWARENESS OF THE STRESS/PERFORMANCE CURVE If an athlete can "read" their nervousness preperformance and can tell the difference between "good", "bad", and "not enough" nervous, then they will be in a better position to be able to do something about their arousal level before it's too late. STEP THREE TEACH COPING SKILLS, DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME YELLING AT YOUR ATHLETES TO "RELAX" Spend a small amount of time preseason providing your athletes with a number of mental skills that they can use to help them to better relax under pressure. you'll do far more good than not by investing a small amount of practice time offering 2-3 relaxation techniques (progressive muscle relaxation, autogenic training, breathing exercises, etc.) to everyone. Armed with ways of cooling down, your athletes will be less likely to fall apart under stress. STEP FOUR TEACH REFRAMING IN PRACTICE Reframe adversity teaches your athletes how to use whatever adversity comes their way to boost confidence rather than erode it. Help your players see that poor weather conditions, bad call by the officials, unsportsmanlike play, fatigue, etc., can work for them. There is always an advantage in a disadvantage. Train your players to find it. STEP FIVE USE HUMOR The surest way to get your athletes to tighten up and play poorly is by being too serious. Peak performance comes out of having fun. You play your very best when you are enjoying the competition; regardless of the level. By using humor as a coach, you can help your at-athletes stay loose, keep the game in perspective and perform like champions. STEP SIX PROVIDE A PERSPECTIVE If you make the competition "bigger than life" your athletes' performances will suffer. If the game is built up too much, or if that "must win" situation becomes too important, then chances are you will not get a good game from your team. Helping in helping them handle a highly pressured situation. An athlete that chokes usually has lost his/her perspective and made the competition much too important. STEP SEVEN USE SIMULATION DAILY Practice does not make perfect, perfect practice makes perfect. Integrate competitive elements into your practices to help your athletes better adjust to the actual pressure of game day. The more your practices resemble competitions, the less chance your athletes will have of falling apart under pressure. If your athletes have trouble with bad calls, certain playing conditions, being down early, etc., simulate these elements as closely as possible in your practices. STEP EIGHT CREATE A GO-FOR-IT ATMOSPHERE In practice create an atmosphere of "nothing to lose" or "free to fail". When athletes are not concerned about making mistakes they perform their best. If your players are worrying about messing up they will be distracted enough and tight enough to indeed mess up. Encourage your players to let their mistakes go immediately and to focus on what they want to have happen, not what they are afraid will happen. Reward mistakes when an athlete has truly gone for it, when they have given a winning effort. STEP NINE SEPARATE SELF-WORTH FROM PERFORMANCE At every level of play, athletes get stressed out when they attach their self worth to the quality of their performance (i.e., "I played well so therefore I am a winner", "I was awful and therefore I am a not a good person"). You set the tone for this in how you coach and interact to your athletes. Do not make the mistake of equating their performance with how you feel about them. If you do not make this separation, then they will not be able to understand and their performance will suffer. STEP TEN CHALLENGE YOUR ATHLETES, DON'T THREATEN THEM When an athlete or team is threatened with consequences should they not perform well, they will consistently fall apart when the game is on the line. Threats only serve to distract the athlete from the task at hand and get them to worry about the consequences for failure. Focusing on the "what if's" of losing is the last thing you want your athletes to do before and during an important game. Instead, challenge them. Give them the message, which is implicit in any challenge that you think that they can do it, that you believe in them. Athletes will most frequently rise to your challenges and respond poorly or inconsistently to your threats. STEP ELEVEN FOCUS YOUR PLAYERS FOR PEAK PERFORMANCE UNDER PRESSURE Most stress related performance problems are a direct result of faulty concentration. The athlete that gets easily psyched out or intimidated does so because he or she is focusing on the wrong things (i.e., the actual or imagined prowess of the other player or team). Help your athletes concentrate on specifically what they have to do to play well. Teach them to "control their eyes and ears", to only look at, or listen to things that keep them composed and performing their best.
https://www.competitivedge.com/parentscoaches-guides-getting-parents-work-you-not-against-you Getting Parents to Work With You, Not Against You INTRODUCTION Believe it or not, 99% of all parents out there are sane and workable. If you want to be a successful coach you have to deliberately make an effort to train them. The following is a list of strategies and ideas that will help you in this endeavor. ONE Most parents who push, do so because they don't know how to be helpful and do not understand the effects that this has on you and their child. TWO You are in a position to give parents the 2 things that they want the most and frequently causes them to say and do unhelpful things. They want their child to feel happy and to be successful. THREE Help parents redefine what it means to be a winner. Winning is not about coming in 1st. It's about pushing your own limits and constantly striving to do better than your best. You're a winner if you drop time off a previous best, play your best, or improve a weakness.The actual outcome is much less important. FOUR Help parents redefine competition. It is not about beating someone else. Help parents understand that a focus on the competition usually results in subpar performances and performance problems. The competition is your partner and your real obstacle lies within. Train them to encourage their children to compete against themselves. FIVE Help refocus parents. All too often parents get their children to be concerned with the uncontrollables (UC's) in a competition, i.e. the crowd, the weather conditions, how important the contest is and how good your opponents are. Teach parents that a focus on the UC's will only get the child into performance trouble. Instead the athlete should be encouraged to focus on what they can control (i.e., themselves and their reaction to all the UC's). SIX Don't use a crisis intervention model with parents. Don't wait for problems and emotions to arise before you are forced to deal with them. Use a preventive, teaching model and commit yourself to training parents from day 1 in your program. Actively educate them with verbal and written material. SEVEN In writing, state clearly your coaching philosophy, coaching style, club policies and view about competition. Don't leave any of this material to their imagination. They have a right to know and you have a responsibility to clarify these for them. EIGHT Clearly define the roles of the athlete, coach and parent so they knows what is expected of them and how they can best help the team. For parents specifically state that coaching is something you do and they don't. Define what it means to coach so that they won't have any confusion about the matter. NINE Define appropriate meet/practice behavior, the do's and don'ts for both athletes and parents and explain why this is so. Spell out clearly the consequences for violating appropriate behavior so when you intervene it doesn't come as a surprise. TEN Establish yourself as an expert. You know the sport, (even if you're inexperienced) and it's your job to see that things are run the way you see fit. Although parents may challenge you on this, act as if you are the expert in a non-defensive way. If you feel unsure of yourself consult regularly with other more experienced coaches. ELEVEN Define a common mission for the team and organization. Let parents know where you want to go and how they can help you and their children reach these goals. TWELVE Communicate. Keep lines of communication open between you and the parents. Be approachable. Encourage them to bring their problems to you directly. Listen to them and give them the feeling that you hear them and can understand where they are coming from, even if you don't agree with them. THIRTEEN Keep professional whenever possible. Do not use your emotions to respond to problem parents. If they push your buttons, keep your emotions out of your interactions with them. If you lose your professional perspective, you can't be effective. FOURTEEN Help parents understand the developmental perspective you have in training. Most parents don't understand why their child may not be performing at a certain level and winning everything in sight. Explain to them about the long term process you are involved in with their child and the proper way to measure success with it. FIFTEEN Teach parents the principles of peak performance which they can then use as a guideline for what to say and do with their child-athlete.
https://www.competitivedge.com/parentscoaches-guides-coachs-guide-winning-motivation-game With some cutting A Coach's Guide to Winning at the Motivation Game INTRODUCTION Winners have it, everyone else wants it. Motivation, that critical ingredient to success both in and out of sports. It's the one element that will allow you to get back up after repeated failures and still achieve your goals. Follow these guidelines/strategies to help develop winning motivation on your team. STEP ONE MOTIVATION IS ABOUT SHARED RESPONSIBILITY It is not just up to you to motivate your athletes. They must have some spark of motivation themselves. You can't motivate someone to do something unless they want to also! STEP TWO MOTIVATION IS ABOUT HAVING A DIRECTION/GIVING A DIRECTION Everyone is motivated. The key question is to do what? As a coach you have to help your athletes develop that direction. S STEP THREE MOTIVATION IS ABOUT SELLING Good motivators are good sales people. You have to sell your athletes on hard work and the pursuit of excellence. You have to get them to buy that their sacrifices and sweat are worth the price of the goal. This means that you have to explain to them the necessity of their efforts. Simply telling an athlete to do something is nowhere near as effective as explaining to them how this exercise or drill will help them get closer to where they want to go. STEP FOUR DO NOT TAKE MOTIVATION FOR GRANTED Even professional athletes need outside motivation from their coach. Too many coaches wrongly assume that the athlete should already be totally motivated and that this motivation piece is up to the athlete. Big Mistake! STEP FIVE MOTIVATION IS AN EVERYDAY JOB, NOT JUST SOMETHING YOU DO BEFORE THE BIG COMPETITIONS 90% of motivation happens in practice from day #1. 5-10% of motivation gets done just before the big game/race/match. . STEP SIX THE HEART OF MOTIVATION IS DEVELOPING A SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR ATHLETE RELATIONSHIP/MOTIVATION BUILDING GUIDELINES TREAT YOUR ATHLETES WITH RESPECT Respect them and they will respect you, be able to learn from you and will go to the ends of the earth to perform for you. AVOID COMPARISONS Comparisons almost always make athletes feel badly about themselves, kill their motivation and engender intrasquad rivalry & unhealthy competition. Compare only to model (i.e., "Look at the way Janice executes that trick... especially watch what she does with her upper body"). DEAL WITH YOUR ATHLETE AS A WHOLE PERSON If you care about them as a person rather than just what they can do for the team, they will reward you with high motivation, increased intensity and great performances. LISTEN/BE EMPATHETIC The heart of effective communication is listening. Be silent when they talk, don't plan your next comment and try to step into their shoes. DO NOT EQUATE YOUR ATHLETES' SELF-WORTH WITH THEIR PERFORMANCES Bad performances don't mean bad people. let your athlete know that you are even more there for them when they have a bad performance than when they have a good one. STEP SEVEN MOTIVATE BY CHALLENGES RATHER THAN THREATS A challenge is positive and motivational. A threat is negative and gets the athlete preoccupied with the consequences for failing, punishment. STEP EIGHT BE POSITIVE Nothing good comes from negativity. It's a real demotivator. Consistently getting down on your athletes will not make them feel good about themselves or you. STEP NINE USE RECOGNITION Recognition is one of the most powerful motivators there is. Every day let your athletes know that you know they're there and giving an effort. Even simple comments like, "good job", or "nice hustle" will go a long way to motivating them. STEP TEN HANDLE FAILURES AND MISTAKES CONSTRUCTIVELY Teach your athletes that failures and setbacks are a necessary part of the learning process and not a cause for embarrassment or quitting. If you jump in an athlete's face whenever he messes up you'll demotivate him and get him worrying about failing. STEP ELEVEN MODEL MOTIVATION IN ALL OF YOU INTERACTIONS If you want to be a motivator you have to be motivated! If you can't get excited about practice and always seem to just "go through the motions" forget about motivation. Motivation starts with you. STEP TWELVE HAVE A BIG ENOUGH "WHY" Motivation is all about having a big enough "why" or reason for doing something. If you have a big enough why, you can always find the "how" to accomplish it. STEP THIRTEEN USE GOAL SETTING THROUGHOUT THE COURSE OF THE SEASON Clearly defined goals help you take your dreams and turn them into reality. STEP FOURTEEN HAVE FUN Create an atmosphere of fun on your team and you will motivate your athletes to train harder and longer. introduce humor and fun regularly in practice. STEP FIFTEEN REST Rest is part of good training. Short breaks in training over the course of the season will keep your athletes physically and mentally fresh and insure that they stay.
https://www.competitivedge.com/parentscoaches-guides-slumpbusting-coachs-guide (with some cutting) Slumpbusting - A Coach's Guide for Baseball/Softball and important for all sports! STEP ONE RULE OUT THE PHYSICAL Before you assume that a slump is mental, you have to rule out the physical or technical factors that might be causing it. If I'm not hitting, is there something wrong with my stance, grip or swing mechanics. If I consistently commit errors is there something skill-wise wrong with my fielding technique. STEP TWO IS THE SLUMP RELATED TO SOMETHING GOING ON OFF THE FIELD? Sometimes ball players get into a slump because they are preoccupied or distracted by family or personal problems/pressures. Also, as a coach, you might want to take a look at your own behavior in relation to the athlete. Sometimes slumps are directly related to how the coach deals with the ball player. STEP THREE DEVELOP AWARENESS OF THE SLUMP AS A DIRECT RESULT OF "FAULTY MENTAL STRATEGIES" Slumps are most often self-maintained by what the athlete says to him/herself Just before an at-bat or play in the field. As a coach you want to find out how the athlete sets themselves up by discovering their preperformance self-talk, imagery and focus. STEP FOUR NORMALIZE AND REFRAME THE SLUMP Slumps and failure in this sport are normal. To be successful you must learn to deal with and master failure. The slump is a direct result of what the player says to themselves about their failures. Help your athletes reframe the meaning of those bad games as what they need to do to have the good ones. STEP FIVE CHALLENGE FAULTY BELIEFS The slumping ballplayer has stopped believing in themselves. If left unchecked these negative beliefs will continue to keep them stuck. As a coach you have to help the athlete restore this belief. Catch them doing things right. Help them remember their successes (the slumping athlete develops "amnesia" for their good games). Confront their negativity and challenge their can't. Let them know in as many ways as possible that you haven't lost your belief in them. STEP SIX RESTORE CORRECTIVE IMAGERY A slumping athlete has a tendency to always "see" what he/she doesn't want to happen instead of what they want to have happen. Help your athletes' "change the channel" and begin to focus on making that play, getting that hit instead on what they are afraid of. The more internal practice of the right images, the more chance the ball player will have of quickly snapping out of the performance difficulties. STEP SEVEN RESTORE PROPER CONCENTRATION The slumping athlete thinks too much and focuses in his/her head. When you're on, you're not thinking and instead, you're on automatic, focusing on the ball and just reacting. It's the faulty focus that's the main cause of the slump and that prevents the ball player from just trusting and letting the hits happen. Being too conscious causes the athlete to try too hard. Help refocus the athlete and distract their conscious mind from the at-bat or play. STEP EIGHT TEACH THE "HERE & NOW" RULE When you play well you're mentally in the "here & now". The slumping ball player is in the past, thinking about mistakes and failures, or in the future entertaining the "what-ifs". Or they are in the wrong mental place, worrying about you and their playing time or focusing on the umps or rowdy fans. Teach your athletes how to recognize when they leave the "here and now" of the performance, and to quickly get themselves back. STEP NINE REPROGRAM THOUGHTS/DEVELOP SELF-CONFIDENCE The slumping athlete maintains a lot of inner negativity. Help them work on changing their "mental diet". Help get them off all that "mental junk food" ("I stink", "I always", "I'll never" etc.). Do not collude with their negativity. Remember G.I.G.O., Garbage In, Garbage Out. STEP TEN TEACH STRESS CONTROL TECHNIQUES . Their nervousness gets in their way of relaxing and performing to their potential. Teach them how to control their breathing and muscle tension and you'll help them snap that slump. STEP ELEVEN ACT AS IF Have your athletes who are stuck, "act as if" they are not. Acting as if has to do with how the athlete carries him/herself. It refers to their posture. teach your athletes to act as if by carrying themselves like a winner on the outside, regardless of how they may feel on the inside.
“Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears.” Rudyard Kipling FEAR = False Education that Appears Real. Fear is like an invisible fence that limits your movements and stunts your growth. It tricks you into believing that you CAN’T do something and that if you were to try, terrible consequences would follow. Fear keeps you locked up both emotionally and physically. Understand however that fear is really nothing more than just a terrible liar. That fence that surrounds and limits you is NOT electrified. It’s merely made of smoke and mirrors. The only shock that you will receive when you push beyond the limits of your fears is the surprising discovery that all this time the only thing holding you back was YOU! If you listen to the lies that come from your fears, you will go nowhere. Instead you want to get yourself into the habit of continually moving towards and challenging your fears. If you have a scary “I can’t,” go out of your way to go after it anyway, over and over again. When you do the thing that you’re afraid of the most again and again, your fear will shrink and then disappear.
"My three keys to success: One, work hard. Two, be your own person. And three, have a passion for what you're doing." Julie Inkster, Hall of Fame golfer Inkster ’s keys to success are common to all great athletes. First, there is absolutely no substitute for hard work. Cutting corners won’t ever get you to where you want to go. You have to be willing to consistently step outside your comfort zone whenever you train. You have to be willing to do the sweaty, uncomfortable, inconvenient and often times painful extra things in order to become a champion. Cutting corners and cheating in your training will insure that you always fall short of you goals. Honestly busting your butt on a daily basis and doing everything possible will insure that you’ll get closer to your goals. Second, be true to yourself. Follow your values and ethics. Don’t compromise who you are for what you think others may want for you. Stick to your beliefs. Do what you think is right. Don’t listen to the “experts” if these experts want you to abandon all that you believe in. Don’t listen to “your friends” if these individuals demand that you act in a way that compromises your values or quest for excellence. Third, love what you’re doing. You have to have fun to be successful. You have to be in love. You have to be in love with your sport, in love with the challenge, in love with the journey, in love with all the hard work and sacrifice. You have to have a passion for your sport and the pursuit of excellence. Passion will always fuel your efforts and lead you to greatness.
“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education alone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” Anonymous, The Edge by Howard Ferguson Everybody mistakenly believes that the one thing that really separates the best from all the rest is pure talent and natural ability. However, what really distinguishes those that can from those who can’t is even simpler. It’s Stick-to-itiveness! Those that ultimately make the team do so because they persist. They refuse to quit. They refuse to give in. They keep at it no matter what. Yes, ability and talent are very important to success. However, without persistence, your ability and talent mean absolutely nothing. Without persistence, you become nothing more than someone who has “permanent potential.” If you’re willing to pay your physical dues and put in the time, if you refuse to give in no matter what, if you master the ability to keep on keeping on, then sooner or later you will run head-first into success. NOTHING IN THE WORLD CAN TAKE THE PLACE OF PERSISTENCE!
"COMPARISON IS A LOSING GAME! Athletes who continually compare themselves almost always end up feeling badly about themselves. Comparison is aN endlessly losing game that you don't want to playbecause you're always going to find athletes who are faster, stronger, more talented or better than you....And if you don't, your imagination will trick you into believing that they are! Instead, get in the habit of focusing on yourself and what YOU can do, not on your teammate's or opponent's supposed strengths and abilities. If you want to build your self-confidence then you have to concentrate on your game, your strengths, your training, etc. You won't be able to truly appreciate your accomplishments if you constantly compare what you've done with what others have. Appreciate your strengths. Work on your weaknesses. Stay inside yourself. The only value focusing on someone else has is to provide you with an objective model to follow for working on your technique or improving your training. Don't evaluate your self-worth and achievements by comparing yours with theirs.
“In the last year I have gained a lot of experience because I have been playing against top players and realized what things to work on to get better. Top players basically tell you what your weaknesses are on the court.” Maria Sharapova, #2 seed going into 2005 Wimbledon Championships The Times, Richard Eaton, 6/18/05 DR. G’S COMMENTS: How would you like to win all the time? How would you like to always beat every opponent you face? I’ve got the answer and it’s a surefire thing. Only compete against opponents who are much weaker than you and you’ll most always win! Of course, what fun would that be? Then again, if that’s all you did, not only would you not get better as an athlete, you’d actually get much worse. The only way to take your game to the next level is to discipline yourself to compete against better and better opponents. As tennis playing phenomenon, Sharapova states, when you play against more skilled opponents, you put yourself in a position to learn and develop as an athlete. Competing against and losing to better players or teams highlights your weaknesses. And, believe it or not, this is a really GOOD thing! When an opponent exposes your weaknesses he/she is actually doing you a huge favor. This opponent is presenting you with a valuable opportunity to get better. You know the old cliché, “a chain is only as strong as its’ weakest link.” Well, by deliberately focusing and working on your weaknesses you will become that much better as an athlete. Remember, the tougher the opponents you compete against, the more opportunity you have to take your sport to that next level.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK - Week #2 May 9, 2005 In the third round of the Masters Series Italian Open, Andy Roddick was playing Spain’s Fernando Verdasco. Roddick was up 7-6, 5-4 with three match points against Verdasco’s serve. Verdasco hit a second serve that the umpire called out, Roddick in a display of good sportsmanship over-ruled it and they replayed the point. Verdasco went on the win the next few points and the match. Roddick said “It was in, I don’t think what I did was extraordinary. The referee would have called it in. I just saved him a trip (down his chair). Luck just wasn’t on my side today.” Verdasco replied “I have to thank him, he’s a great sportsman. He probably thought it wouldn’t change the match. But that gave me a chance to win. That’s tennis.” Source: www.masters-series.com web-site Dr.G’s comments: Last year tennis pro Jennifer Capriatti was in Roddick’s situation when a ball that was clearly an inch inside the line was called out by the linesman and not overruled by the chair umpire. Capriatti was awarded the point, went on to win the match, and was nonplussed when she was asked about it by a sports caster after the match. She said “that’s the game…some calls go your way, some don’t and it all evens out in the end.” Whether this is true or not, what she did was dishonest. She knew the ball was in and she took the point anyway! Unfortunately Capriatti’s stance is far more typical for athletes in sports than Andy Roddick’s. The fact that he over-ruled the linesman’s call himself at a crucial point in the match and refused to take a point that wasn’t his not only shows integrity and honesty, but it also demonstrates something about Roddick’s character. The man is a class act! Furthermore, Roddick understands something about competition that far too many athletes don’t: Winning isn’t the only thing. Winning isn’t everything, it’s HOW you win that really counts! Roddick understands that the outcome of a match should never be so important to you that it compromises your values, ethics and morality. If you have to knowingly or passively cheat to win, then you are lying to yourself about your “victory.” Your “win” is hollow and empty and doesn’t mean much, even if you get to take that first place trophy home with you. Do you have the strength of character and integrity to compete like Roddick? Do you have the ability to do what’s right even if you’re getting pressure from teammates or coaches to do the opposite? Do the right thing! Keep your game in perspective. Remember, it’s just a game!
"When I look back at the world championships, I know there’s a lot of room for improvement, I'm always up for a challenge. The Olympics, they don't define me, I've had some good and some bad. But it's all about the Olympic experience". Michelle Kwan, talking about preparing for and competing in the upcoming 2006 Olympics. NY Times, 5/27 Dr.G’s comments: Michelle reflects the attitude and perspective of a true winner in her comments. She understands some things that are absolutely critical for every serious athlete to grasp. First, you are NOT your performances. Successes and failures over the course of your career do not and should NEVER define who you are as a person. Winning a championship or a gold medal does not make you a better person than if you lost or came in fourth. Unfortunately, coaches, the sports media and most everyone around you may define you in this way. Do NOT accept other people’s narrow definition of yourself. If you buy into their very limited and constricted way of looking at your, then you will be setting yourself up for a lot of heartache. See yourself as your performance and you will find yourself always competing with your ego on the line, with a lot to lose. When your self-worth and identity are at stake whenever you compete, then you will tie yourself into knots and always perform way below your potential. Much of the overwhelming pre-performance stress and nervousness that brings athletes to their knees is generated by this “I am my performance and if I lose I am a lesser person” head-set. Second, Michelle’s perspective on the Olympics reflects the only healthy way for you to view your athletic experience. Do you dance to get from one side of the floor to the other? Do you sing, to get from the beginning to the end of a song as fast as possible? Well, if you compete just to win, then your answer to these two absurd questions is a resounding “yes!” The meaningful time that you spend on the court, course or field is rarely captured by a won-loss outcome. What makes winning a county or conference championship so great is actually NOT the winning itself, it’s the total experience that you shared with your teammates, coaches and even opponents over the course of your season. It’s the relationships that you create on the team, the fun that you had and the special moments that you shared together with these individuals that give your sport its’ true meaning. Looking at your sport and competition as simply a win-lose phenomenon is shallow and reflects a near-sightedness that completely misses the boat. If all you worry about is your win-loss record, then your sports experience will be pretty empty. Instead, keep the bigger picture in mind. Enjoy the experience, every aspect of it. Let yourself get into the dance. Lose yourself in the process of your singing and stop worrying about how fast you’re going or whether you’re better than the other guy dancing or singing next to you.
"Games have been called the lab for the development of moral attributes, but they will not, of themselves, accomplish this purpose. They must be properly conducted by competent individuals" James Naismith - The father of modern basketball DR. G's COMMENTS: If only Mr. Naismith could see what kind of "competent" individuals have been put in charge of developing these "moral attributes" in today's youth. Overly competitive coaches and parents, selfishly feeding their own egos, have almost completely hijacked the game of basketball (not to mention a whole host of other sports). Instead of moral development, winning has been touted as the main goal for these games. We have allowed ourselves to sway too far from our roots and the original purpose of sports. We need to help our children have positive, life enriching experiences in sports rather than emotionally damaging ones. When the adults who run youth sports are better trained and supervised, when they get their priorities straight, then and only then can we get back to Mr. Naismith's principles.
"It's about respect. It's really easy for these guys to start thinking the world revolves around them. I never could have tolerated it if Rafael had become a good player and a bad example of a human being. I was at a symposium recently and a trainer said to me, 'Look, if you ask a young player's father which he'd rather get at the end of this process - a courteous person or the French Open Champion - you know what the father is going to say.' And I said: 'No, that's all wrong. Because if that player is brought up courteous, brought up as a respectful person, he's got a better chance to reach the championship of the French Open - because it's going to be easier for him to accomplish the hard work." Toni Nadal, uncle and coach of Rafeal Nadal, World #1 ranked tennis player DR. G's COMMENTS: Here we have a window into one of the primary reasons why Rafa Nadal is such a great champion. He has brilliant coaching that emphasizes the importance of what really matters: The process and behaviors of becoming a champion rather than the superficial trappings of the titles. It's a rare champion who practices this lost art of actually conducting himself as one. Far too many professional athletes act like entitled, spoiled-rotten, selfish children. They disrespect their opponents, officials, sports media, fans and the game itself just because they have talent. Their attitude, however, cancels out any talent they might possess. When things go badly for them, they have temper tantrums, flinging their equipment, swearing and generally behaving badly a la infamous tennis super-brat, John McEnroe, a great tennis player and miserable example of a human being.
"My mom called me up and said you almost had that one, moms are the greatest, you can't do wrong by your Mom. She blames it on everybody else but me". Joel Dreessen, NY Jets Third String Tight End after missing yet another catch DR. G’S COMMENTS: Your mom can teach you a whole lot about how to be a good “inner coach” to yourself. Most healthy moms are unbelievably forgiving when their sons or daughters mess up. These moms don’t punish their kids for their mistakes or criticize them. Instead, they forgive and forget. A good mother is terminally optimistic about her child and loves him/her unconditionally. A good mother does not have her ego overly tied up in the child’s performance. She doesn’t see her child’s failures as a personal insult. She doesn’t drive her child mercilessly nor berate him/her for falling short of goals. A good mom does not make the mistake of linking her child’s self-worth with his/her performance. In many ways, this healthy attitude of unconditional love, kindness and forgiveness should be adopted by all athletes as a way to treat themselves (or others for that matter) whenever failures, mistakes and setbacks come knocking on their door. I’m not talking about shirking responsibility here or blaming everyone else whenever things go wrong. What I am talking about is understanding the fact that to fail is human and that what we most need from ourselves and others when we fall short is understanding and compassion. Being a punitive mom or being a punitive “inner coach” will never help you get to your goals. Instead, it will leave you feeling worse about yourself.
No it's not, not for them. They're playing for their livelihood. They're playing to put meals on the table.
