Jokes

Roughorsmooth said:
Archaeologists in Egypt have uncovered a mummy covered with chocolate and nuts, and believe they may have found Pharaoh Rocher.
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That is so bad ...
Mum: if your friends jump off a cliff will you jump with them
Me: of course I will cause there will be a pile of dead people to cushion me.
 
A body was found covered in 'Hundreds and Thousands'. Police say he topped himself.

In other news, a steam train enthusiast has committed suicide by throwing himself in front of his favourite locomotive. His tearful widow said 'He was chuffed to bits'
 
3 beings that you should never play badminton with

1. Madara Uchicha in Susannoo mode and his Susannoo ia swinging the racket dor him
2. Darth Vader on steroid holding a Yonex Arcsaber attached to his light saber
3. Thanos with his infinity gauntlet weilding a Tantrum 300
 
Gessle said:
Joke No. 2

In a Bar, as a man was having a drink, a guy, apparently already with his load, approached him and said, "Would you bet a pint of beer that I can bite my own left eye?"
Thinking that this guy was really drunk, the first man agreed.
Then the supposed drunk guy took off his false left eye and bit it. The first man thought: "How could I let this guy to fool me?"
But a bet is a bet, so he bought the drunk guy a pint of beer and continued his drinking.
A few moments later, the same drunk guy approached the first man and said, "Would you bet a pint of beer that I can bite my own right eye?"
He thought to himself: Hey, this guy can't have both false eyes, right? So he accepted the bet. Then the drunk guy took out his false teeth and bit his right eye with them.
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Hahahhaha! LOL!
 
jug8man said:
a doctor was introducing autopsy to a fresh batch of medcine students in an operating theater with a real dead body. they formed a circle around the dead body.
the doctor said to the students "the first thing you need to study medicine is to conquer your fear". he then suddenly inserted his finger up the dead body's arse, pulled it out and licked his finger. much to the disbelief of the students. then he pointed at one student and ordered him with authority to do the same. the student reluctantly but quickly followed suit.
the doctor then said to the students "the second thing you need is to be very observant. notice that i inserted my index finger but licked middle finger". the student fainted.
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LOL,
I can use this one hahahah
 
My father said i shouldnt watch adult materials in the Internet using my smartphone because it can affect my vission and eventually go blind. No wonder my teacher ask me to sit in the front row in my class since i cant see clearly what my teacher is writting.
 
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