Jokes

[Roughorsmooth]

A recent study suggests that 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

 

[Thor_Ra]

3 beings that you should never play badminton with

1. Madara Uchicha in Susannoo mode and his Susannoo ia swinging the racket dor him
2. Darth Vader on steroid holding a Yonex Arcsaber attached to his light saber
3. Thanos with his infinity gauntlet weilding a Tantrum 300

Number two sounds particularly unpleasant when the umpire strikes back.

 

[Thor_Ra]

How many badminton players does it take to convince any doubters that badminton is the best racket sport there is?

Ten is enough to squash their arguments.

 

[shreyas666]

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and unable to speak English or any other language for that matter, looks at the barman, shits on the floor and walks out.

 

[shreyas666]

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $200.00. That's why, in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.

 

[Roughorsmooth]

Scientists have been exploring ways of making snails move faster by removing their shells. Early trials suggest it just makes them sluggish.

 

[Roughorsmooth]

A guy is walking his dog in the woods when he finds a suitcase, and hears noises from inside. He carefully opens it, finds it full of kittens, and immediately phones RSPCA.
He tells the operator 'I've found a suitcase full of kittens'
She asks 'Are they moving?'
The guy replies 'Well, it would explain the suitcase...'

 

[Vellawolf]

You sincerely compliment somebody on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.

 

[Roughorsmooth]

I went into a jewellers and said to the assistant 'I'd like to buy a watch'
He asked 'Analogue?'
I said 'No, just a watch'

 

[Roughorsmooth]

A guy goes into a library, and the librarian asks 'Can I help you?'
'Yes' he says, 'I'm looking for books about turtles'
She asks 'Hardbacks?'
He says 'Yes, with really small heads'

 

[Roughorsmooth]

A piece of liquorice and a coconut go into a nightclub and a bouncer stops them at the door and says 'We don't just let all sorts in here...'

 

[Charlie-SWUK]

What did Aerosonic say to Aerobite?

We're going to be together through thick and thin.

 

[extremenanopowe]

My Last Job Interview

OFFICER:- What is your name?

Me :- M.P. sir

OFFICER:- In full please

Me:- Marvin Paul

OFFICER:- Your father's name?

Me:- M.P. sir

OFFICER:- What does that mean?

Me:- Martin Paul

OFFICER:- What is your qualification?

Me:- M.P.

OFFICER:- (angry) What is that?!!!

Me:- Maths and Physics

OFFICER:- So why do you need a job?

Me:- It is because of M.P. sir

OFFICER: Meaning?

Me:- Money Problem

OFFICER:- Would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? What's your personality like?

Me: MP sir.

OFFICER: And what is that?

Me:- Marvelous Personality

OFFICER:- I see... I will get back to you.

Me:- Sir, how was M.P. sir?

OFFICER:- And what's that again?

Me:- My Performance.

OFFICER:- I think you have M.P.

Me:- What’s that?

OFFICER:- Mental Problem!!!

Don't laugh alone.
Send this to M.P. (Many People) those are saved in your M.P. (Mobile Phone)
to put a smile on their faces. Visit extreme-power.org

I have sent this to u because u are M.P. (My People)

 

[John Xina]

What's the difference between a one night stand and a long lasting relationship?












About 2 inches.

 

[Roughorsmooth]

My wife went into the lingerie department and said to the assistant 'I'd like to buy some knickers'. The assistant asked 'Satin?' and my wife said 'No, new ones'.

 

[Roughorsmooth]

Did something stupid last night... I rubbed baked beans into my eyes. But then, Heinz sight's a great thing...

 

[Crex901]

i have not heard that many great things about Switzerland but i did hear that their flag was a big plus.

 

[jake12312312]

crazy